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Normal curfew for 16 year-old girl? Who is BU?

170 replies

outnumberedbycats · 09/05/2021 18:19

WIBU? DD is 16 and has had a boyfriend for a few months (he’s in the Lower 6th, she’s in Year 11). She’s mainly been seeing him in school due to the ongoing replacement GCSEs, but she’s fine with this as she understands she’s needed to focus on revision. The boy has been to our house a few times and seems fine so far.

When the exams finish next week there is a group of them planning to hang out in a local park (not a lonely one, it’s Hyde Park), to celebrate various birthdays and end of exams etc. The boyfriend will be there. DH has told the boyfriend that he wants DD brought home by 9.30pm. The BF has agreed, but DD is saying they will all be there until later and this is embarrassing for her. She is complaining to me (as usual) to persuade DH to let her be out later.

What time would you expect a 16 year-old girl home by if she was out in a park with her boyfriend (even though it’s a group thing)?

OP posts:

daisypond · 09/05/2021 18:22

I think 9:30 is too early in these circumstances. How long will it take them to get home from Hyde Park?


Lemonwoe · 09/05/2021 18:22

9.30??! At 16?!


At that age I was out at clubs. Demanding she is back so early is just asking for her to start sneaking about.

And as for telling her boyfriend to bring her home in time.... jeeze


underneaththeash · 09/05/2021 18:22

I think that's a bit early TBH (I have 2 teenage children). I'd compromise on 10.


Aprilwasverywet · 09/05/2021 18:23

10 pm.
*currently have 3 teens..


QueenPaw · 09/05/2021 18:24

9.30 is way too early
I never had a curfew, I just suggested a time and had to be back by then. If I was 1 min late then that was it and I would have a curfew
I was out in nightclubs though so often home at 1-2am


outnumberedbycats · 09/05/2021 18:24

Sorry, they would need to leave at 9 at the very latest, but they’re meeting around 4.

OP posts:

Overthebow · 09/05/2021 18:24

I wouldn’t expect a 16 year old to come home at 9.30, especially as a one off celebration. It’s always been a thing for teenagers to go on end of GCSE holidays by themselves at that age and there are usually parties. I would suggest midnight would be more appropriate.


baileysisforme · 09/05/2021 18:24

I was going to pubs at 16 (with my mums permission as it was safer than the parks!) so that's quite early I'd say.


Rillington · 09/05/2021 18:24

10pm on a school night otherwise 11pm.


Hockeyboysmum · 09/05/2021 18:25

Prob about 11pm


TeenMinusTests · 09/05/2021 18:25

A group thing celebrating leaving school would be later than 9:30 I think. Are there other local kids they could travel back with to be in a larger group?

(Her exams are finishing very early though. Most schools seem to be going up to half term or maybe one week before, not 2.)


sadpapercourtesan · 09/05/2021 18:25

My DS2 is 16 (he'll be 17 in August, so he's actually Lower 6th) and I wouldn't give him a curfew for a post-exam gathering like this, but he'd have to text me every hour to let me know he's OK (and it has to be a long-ish, articulate text rather than just "all fine" so I know he isn't wrecked). I prefer that he walk home with friends when they're all going rather than be the one who has to leave early and walk home alone. He frequently walks girls home at the end of the night so they're not walking home alone as well, that's normal in his friendship group.

If I gave him a 9.30 curfew at 16 years old we would have a very poor relationship. In fact sometimes he works later than that in his evening job!


I8toys · 09/05/2021 18:25



Possumfish · 09/05/2021 18:26

11pm probably. at that age i went to clubs!


Justmuddlingalong · 09/05/2021 18:27

11pm. And she is dropped off.


outnumberedbycats · 09/05/2021 18:27

I would have probably let them stay until 10, to be honest.

OP posts:

Lou98 · 09/05/2021 18:27

I think 9:30 is far too early personally, especially as you've said she would need to leave at 9. They're having a celebration after an otherwise rubbish year. At 16 I never had a curfew, I would just keep in touch with my mum regularly so if we were leaving the park etc she knew and I'd let her know when I was on my way home.

If you're insisting on a curfew I would say 11 at the earliest as that's when it's starting to get dark (where I am at least)


CoastAlong · 09/05/2021 18:30

I think 9.30pm is too early. I would say 11pm is reasonable.


cupsofcoffee · 09/05/2021 18:30

Far too early.

I would say 10pm on a school night, 11pm at weekends if she was making her own way home. Otherwise if she was at someone's house then midnight would be fine if I was picking her up.


SakuraEdenSwan1 · 09/05/2021 18:30


I wouldn’t expect a 16 year old to come home at 9.30, especially as a one off celebration. It’s always been a thing for teenagers to go on end of GCSE holidays by themselves at that age and there are usually parties. I would suggest midnight would be more appropriate.

That is certainly not appropriate midnight ffs, @outnumberedbycats I hope you realise that they will all be drinking, the trouble they get into caused by excess booze would be a reason to pick her up instead.

UpTheJunktion · 09/05/2021 18:31

9.30 is way too early.

And what is your Dd, a parcel, that your DH ‘tells’ her boyfriend what time she is to be ‘brought home’. Men making arrangements amongst themselves for young women to be delivered : yuk.

Discuss direct with your Dd how she will get home, don’t make it dependent on the boyf, she might prefer to walk with girlfriends or other friends.

Thousands of 16 year olds head off for Reading Festival at the other end of this summer, straight after picking up their results.


SoupDragon · 09/05/2021 18:32

I would have gone with 11pm I think.


CherieBabySpliffUp · 09/05/2021 18:32

Your DD has to be brought home by her boyfriend??? Have we gone back to the 1950's?? Is she incapable of getting home by herself?
If it takes 30 minutes to get home then I would say be in by 10 given sunset will be just after 9 at the end of May.


Jumpers268 · 09/05/2021 18:32

9:30pm makes me sad for her haha I'd also say around 11pm 😊.


SoupDragon · 09/05/2021 18:33

I might say that I would pick them up at that time though.

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