Cashier came and moved me to another till

[Shoutingovertheterraces]

For context, I’m abroad, if it makes a difference.
This morning I was queuing up in the supermarket (biggish queues) for picnic things whilst Dp and toddler Dd waited in the car.
One of the cashiers/staff came to me and gently guided me over to another till where there were less people. I just stood there feeling humiliated. She obviously thought I was pregnant.
As she did a changeover with another woman on the till, I saw them looking over at me and the other woman looked at me and shook her head in surprise to the woman who moved me.
Then the one lady in the queue was looking back at me.
The whole thing was very humiliating and I felt like shit all day.
I was wearing a long oversized, striped shirt and denim shorts (quite hot here) I have big boobs and am desperately trying to lose weight (size 16, used to be 10) years of fertility treatments then pregnancy.
I didn’t tell Dp as felt so ashamed, now I feel disgusted with myself when I eat anything.
Cannot believe I’m so fat now that I’m being mistaken for being pregnant.

[quote Shoutingovertheterraces]@SunnySpills It’s just the law here, it’s priority, they have to follow it[/quote]
It must be a minefield for cashiers trying to work out which customers are pregnant or who' just had a big lunch, ibs or a post pregnancy bump. I'd be terrified of wrongly inviting anyone into the priority queue.

Angelo that sounds tough to live with. I'm in pain with just a tiny bit of "normal" bloating glad you can at least use it your advantage on the tube.!

@YellowScallion

I almost said something earlier today when at the vaccination centre the lady checking in asked if it was my 2nd vaccine, I'm only 42!

I'm having my second vaccination next week and I'm 41. It's really bizarre to jump to the conclusion that she was insulting you by asking

I'm also 41 and having my 2nd vaccination next week. I wouldn't have taken offence by what she said, all different ages are getting their 2nd jabs now.

@SmileyClare So would I! Which makes me think she must’ve really been convinced!

I'm not overweight but when a man on packed train stood up for me on I was convinced he thought I was pregnant

Plus I once got called 'Sir'.

These things happen, try and not overthink it

A work colleague who was invited to our wedding told me a few months afterwards that he thought I looked pregnant on my wedding day.

I was most definitely not! It made me look back differently at my wedding dress and scrutinise the photos, and all I can see is that the ruched corset of the dress might have made him think that and also wonder how many other guests might have thought it too without saying so (and gossiped about it possibly). It's tainted my memories of how I felt in the dress.

That's got to be far worse by comparison!

I’m thinking back to last week now and feeling really paranoid. I was at the garden centre with Dd and walking holding a small bag of soil and the assistant guy came over and took it to the till for me whilst I carried in browsing 🤷🏻‍♀️That’s never happened before either, he just sort of took it out of my hands.
As I was going to queue, an older guy in the queue stood back and gestured for me to go first, I said no it was ok and for him to go first.

I definitely must look pregnant, need to lose weight ASAP

@swapsicles

I almost said something earlier today when at the vaccination centre the lady checking in asked if it was my 2nd vaccine, I'm only 42! I told myself it wasn't because I looked older but not sure why she said that otherwise. Later on she asked of people were having their first, Its not nice (or flattering) but you just have to ignore and get on with your day 😁

I'm having my second vaccine in a couple of days. I'm in my early 30s. Why would that be offensive to ask? It's not necessarily an age thing. At my first vaccine appointment there were people of all ages there too. Health reasons?

@Shoutingovertheterraces
I'm often mistaken for a teenager. People think I'm my child's older sister and if I'm with another obvious looking adult they'll speak to them over me. People make all kinds of weird assumptions at face value. Assert yourself, that's all you can do.

@swapsicles

I almost said something earlier today when at the vaccination centre the lady checking in asked if it was my 2nd vaccine, I'm only 42! I told myself it wasn't because I looked older but not sure why she said that otherwise. Later on she asked of people were having their first, Its not nice (or flattering) but you just have to ignore and get on with your day 😁

Why would you get offended by that? There are many reasons why they might be asking. I'm 32 and had both of my jabs by mid April due to a health condition so its not just old people who have had them early.

When I went for my second jab in mid April they were asking people if they were coming for their second jab because some of the boxes of the vaccines had been damaged in transit and nobody had realised until they arrived. Until they received replacements they were prioritising the surviving vaccines for people who were getting the second dose, so were asking people when they arrived because they hadn't managed to contact everyone booked in for their first dose so they could apologise, explain the issue and send them on their way ASAP to reduce the time they spent in the waiting room.

On top of that, at my health centre (which houses 6 different GP surgeries), they are a vaccination hub but have split the vaccine sessions between the different surgeries to spread the workload and not monopolise one surgery's time/personnel so on Tuesday Surgery A and B dealt with 1st doses while C and D dealt with 2nd doses; Wednesday C and D dealt with 1st doses while E and F dealt with 2nd doses; Thursday E and F dealt with 1st doses while A and B dealt with 2nd doses etc. Each surgery has a different waiting area so they ask everyone which dose they are booked for so they can send people to the right place.

@WellThisIsShit Thank you 💐

But no, it’s because I’ve become too fat and I know it and hate it.

Well you know what @Shoutingovertheterraces, you can lose that weight, it’s not impossible, if you do it slowly and carefully, not all in a rush through a crash diet where it will just bounce straight back on.

But please start by making friends with your body, it’s not as ugly as you think it is, I can absolutely guarantee that without seeing you! It’s the media that have are us think women should have flat stomachs and abs of steels after all that we put them through over our child bearing, and child hoping, years. Then the harshness we have of the ‘well just LOSE IT then’ mentality that punishes is when we struggle with the complicated relationship we have with food and our bodies. It’s really not that simple, if only it was, no one would have a problem!

I just lose a stone in the last 6 weeks which is a total revaluation to me, having tried and failed so badly for years before. The difference being I started by trying to change my eating psychology, not by going on a diet, and I was very kind to my body instead of starting by loathing and hating it!

Tbh I’ve come off the wagon these last few days, as have had a family emergency to sort out, but I want to carry on as it’s given me so much joy to see my body start to become more like me again... I hope I can give you some hope x

@zuzuzuzu

Yesterday Amazon delivery man wouldn't give DH (my) bottle of Archers until he produced his passport to prove his age. DH is 61, grey and balding 😀 Sometimes shop assistants etc. get it wrong.

Oh come ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

I have heard some tales on here, from posters saying people always assume they are SOOOOO much younger than they are. But someone in his SIXTIES, who is grey, and balding, doesn't look old enough to buy alcohol? Do you think people on here are so daft that they'd believe that?!!!

Also, funny how no-one on here ever says people think they look much older than they are.

[quote Shoutingovertheterraces]@IceSwallowCome It’s the law, they can get in trouble if they don’t adhere to it.[/quote]
Well there you go, they are overly cautious about following the law so anyone that has a wrinkle, a limp, or a bit of a gut will be pulled over so they don’t get in trouble.

OP, I’m not sure what you need from this thread, but rest assured all of hear has had a day when we didn’t dress our best and looked fat, pregnant, short legged, scrawny legged, or just plain weird.

I’m more worried you let this affect an otherwise good day with a family you love.

littlepatilou

Nope, def an issue with amazon, have to provide proof of age for alcohol. I'"m late 40s and rough looking as chiluff at the moment and I had to show my driving licence! I definitely don't look too young, I wish!!

@littlepattilou Amazon require photo ID from you whatever you look like. It’s just a blanket policy that you have to prove your age even if you look 90. And perhaps so they can say for sure who they have it to.

Can you try turning it around to see the silver lining?

You got out of the supermarket faster than you might otherwise have?

I know you don't want this to be about covid, and I am not trying to shoehorn it into your thread, but you survived covid - and even if the cost was lack of exercise, you have lots of time now.

Don't let your weight cast a shadow on what you have today - you are still alive and kicking, and you have a daughter and husband who love you. Try not to be 'desperate' in your quest to lose the weight. Be patient and kind to yourself. You have been through a lot. You will get through this stage of your life and move into another.

Is everyone being deliberately obtuse? Maybe nobody else can get their head around different countries having different systems? If you're abroad and the supermarket staff has special priority queues for disabled and pregnant people, and the staff member specifically came to get you from a queue, ignoring all the other many customers, and then gently guided you to the queue for pregnant and disabled people - well, it's not difficult to figure out?! I don't know why everyone is acting all faux confused and trying to undermine your experience by implying you've overreacted or imagined it?!

Sorry OP. Similar happened to me once (also live abroad where pregnant women are treated very carefully and kindly by even total strangers which can be nice when you are pregnant, but also can be VERY awkward if you're not actually pregnant but someone wrongly assumes you are.

(okay, not EVERYONE, but the first couple of pages irritated me 😂)

I love @martanxiety 's post above mine!

Size 16? I’m bigger than that avd have never been mistaken for pregnant. Unusual that two other women would think you were pregnant. Especially women who work with the general public all day every day and see people of all shapes and sizes.

You didn’t hear them say that so you don’t know. There could be many reasons. You said you were getting “picnic things” so not a full weekly shop? Maybe they thought you would appreciate being shown a faster queue since you didn’t have a full trolley. Maybe the other woman was still being trained and the other colleague was finding people with smaller amounts for her to get used to the till.

Meh, this happened to me in Disneyworld, the staff member asked me if I was doing ok in the heat with my baby and pointed to my tummy. (I wasn’t pregnant, just big belly/bloated.

I just said no, I’m fine! I was a bit mortified but got over. I think you’re over thinking it. Actually has happened to me a few times.

You and the poster getting a covid jab ate both over thinking this. In both scenarios I would gave forgotten about it by the time I got home. They are both non events.

@Shoutingovertheterraces

I’m thinking back to last week now and feeling really paranoid. I was at the garden centre with Dd and walking holding a small bag of soil and the assistant guy came over and took it to the till for me whilst I carried in browsing 🤷🏻‍♀️That’s never happened before either, he just sort of took it out of my hands. As I was going to queue, an older guy in the queue stood back and gestured for me to go first, I said no it was ok and for him to go first.

I definitely must look pregnant, need to lose weight ASAP

You are 100% overthinking here. You might be right about the priority queue but you’re overthinking this.

Woman shopping with small child carrying bulky object - assistant assists. Older gentleman is polite. That’s all, really.

Please be kind to yourself.

I was offered a seat on a train when I was 19 and a size 8, I wasn't pregnant. Just standing funny I think.

Honestly, don't take this to heart op.

Mistakes happen.

Are you normally this paranoid? Maybe you need help

@swapsicles

I almost said something earlier today when at the vaccination centre the lady checking in asked if it was my 2nd vaccine, I'm only 42! I told myself it wasn't because I looked older but not sure why she said that otherwise. Later on she asked of people were having their first, Its not nice (or flattering) but you just have to ignore and get on with your day 😁

Lots of care workers and people with certain health conditions will be on to their second jabs now, so doesn't sound like a comment on your age.

People have moved me to a different queue, helped me with shopping, given me their seat on a bus....and I’m very slim and clearly not pregnant. Not for one minute did I think they thought I was pregnant.

OP, you’re interpreting everything through the lens of your discomfort at being overweight.