Cashier came and moved me to another till

[Shoutingovertheterraces]

For context, I’m abroad, if it makes a difference.
This morning I was queuing up in the supermarket (biggish queues) for picnic things whilst Dp and toddler Dd waited in the car.
One of the cashiers/staff came to me and gently guided me over to another till where there were less people. I just stood there feeling humiliated. She obviously thought I was pregnant.
As she did a changeover with another woman on the till, I saw them looking over at me and the other woman looked at me and shook her head in surprise to the woman who moved me.
Then the one lady in the queue was looking back at me.
The whole thing was very humiliating and I felt like shit all day.
I was wearing a long oversized, striped shirt and denim shorts (quite hot here) I have big boobs and am desperately trying to lose weight (size 16, used to be 10) years of fertility treatments then pregnancy.
I didn’t tell Dp as felt so ashamed, now I feel disgusted with myself when I eat anything.
Cannot believe I’m so fat now that I’m being mistaken for being pregnant.

[Gwenhwyfar]

[quote VenusTiger]@Gwenhwyfar vaxs for vulnerable only are NOT a part of life.[/quote]
I said Covid is part of life. (in reply to someone arguing that it shouldn't be mentioned on this thread).

[VenusTiger]

@Gwenhwyfar vaxs for vulnerable only are NOT a part of life.

[Brieminewine]

I think you need to get over it OP, even if she did think you were pregnant she was being nice and doing her job.

Your feelings of shame and embarrassment are your own. She is not to blame for that. Hopefully this will spurn you on to lose weight, good luck!

[TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]

Lucky you!

I tried sticking a balloon up my jumper in an attempt to get moved up a queue but regrettably it failed spectacularly and I spent more than an hour in the security office under suspicion of shoplifting the very same balloon!

[longwayoff]

I wouldn't care what the cashier thought if she moved me forward in a draggy queue. Thanks, very thoughtful, let me out of here as fast as possible.

[Teaandtoastedbiscuits]

This has happened to me and I think it was more to do with the style of dress I was wearing and my post c section tummy. The lady in question congratulated me then nearly died when she realised I wasn't pregnant. Looking at myself at home in said dress I did look about 4 months but its not keeping me awake at night

[listsandbudgets]

@swapsicles loads of people your age will be on second vaccine. Health workers, most people in group 6, carers etc. etc.

In oldest of 3 siblings but will be last to get my second jab. They both had theirs weeks ago because they qualified on grounds of occupation

[Aweebawbee]

Recently I went to get some photos printed and was killing the 15 minutes until they were ready, wandering round a supermarket chocolate section.

Someone came up to me and asked if I needed to talk. OK, I wasn't looking great - hair in a frizz, old, stained T shirt, but I wasn't suicidal.

I actually thanked her because I think people should be looking out for people in difficulty, that's that sign of a healthy society. However, it requires people to make assumptions that are not always correct.

Anyway, I booked an appointment at the hairdressers and threw out the shirt. Probably should have been taking more care of myself.

[HappydaysArehere]

I think the woman passing your food through was trying to be helpful as the queuing was long. I have had assistants who want to appear doing something and have done exactly the same for me. It is helpful to get the bags packed more quickly and I have always thanked them. They may well have been discussing the length of the queues. As for spotting a pregnant woman why would that be a topic of conversation. I think you are bothered that you have put on a few pounds and are overthinking everything. Just think “eating healthy” and try to avoid sugar and relax and be happy with your lovely family.

[Shoutingovertheterraces]

@BreatheAndFocus This was very specifically just me though, moved 5/6 rows down to the priority row. Different to a casual re direction to a new till opening etc

[Shoutingovertheterraces]

@Doghead?? Really?

[BreatheAndFocus]

People have moved me to a different queue, helped me with shopping, given me their seat on a bus....and I’m very slim and clearly not pregnant. Not for one minute did I think they thought I was pregnant.

OP, you’re interpreting everything through the lens of your discomfort at being overweight.

[MoonCatcher]

@swapsicles

I almost said something earlier today when at the vaccination centre the lady checking in asked if it was my 2nd vaccine, I'm only 42! I told myself it wasn't because I looked older but not sure why she said that otherwise.
Later on she asked of people were having their first, Its not nice (or flattering) but you just have to ignore and get on with your day 😁

Lots of care workers and people with certain health conditions will be on to their second jabs now, so doesn't sound like a comment on your age.

[Doghead]

Are you normally this paranoid? Maybe you need help

[NotMeekNotObedient]

I was offered a seat on a train when I was 19 and a size 8, I wasn't pregnant. Just standing funny I think.

Honestly, don't take this to heart op.

Mistakes happen.

[NoSquirrels]

@Shoutingovertheterraces

I’m thinking back to last week now and feeling really paranoid. I was at the garden centre with Dd and walking holding a small bag of soil and the assistant guy came over and took it to the till for me whilst I carried in browsing 🤷🏻‍♀️That’s never happened before either, he just sort of took it out of my hands.
As I was going to queue, an older guy in the queue stood back and gestured for me to go first, I said no it was ok and for him to go first.

I definitely must look pregnant, need to lose weight ASAP

You are 100% overthinking here. You might be right about the priority queue but you’re overthinking this.

Woman shopping with small child carrying bulky object - assistant assists. Older gentleman is polite. That’s all, really.

Please be kind to yourself.

[Plumbear2]

You and the poster getting a covid jab ate both over thinking this. In both scenarios I would gave forgotten about it by the time I got home. They are both non events.

[mainsfed]

Meh, this happened to me in Disneyworld, the staff member asked me if I was doing ok in the heat with my baby and pointed to my tummy. (I wasn’t pregnant, just big belly/bloated.

I just said no, I’m fine! I was a bit mortified but got over. I think you’re over thinking it. Actually has happened to me a few times.

[BritWifeinUSA]

Size 16? I’m bigger than that avd have never been mistaken for pregnant. Unusual that two other women would think you were pregnant. Especially women who work with the general public all day every day and see people of all shapes and sizes.

You didn’t hear them say that so you don’t know. There could be many reasons. You said you were getting “picnic things” so not a full weekly shop? Maybe they thought you would appreciate being shown a faster queue since you didn’t have a full trolley. Maybe the other woman was still being trained and the other colleague was finding people with smaller amounts for her to get used to the till.

[JemimaJoy]

(okay, not EVERYONE, but the first couple of pages irritated me 😂)

I love @martanxiety 's post above mine!

[JemimaJoy]

Is everyone being deliberately obtuse? Maybe nobody else can get their head around different countries having different systems? If you're abroad and the supermarket staff has special priority queues for disabled and pregnant people, and the staff member specifically came to get you from a queue, ignoring all the other many customers, and then gently guided you to the queue for pregnant and disabled people - well, it's not difficult to figure out?! I don't know why everyone is acting all faux confused and trying to undermine your experience by implying you've overreacted or imagined it?!

Sorry OP. Similar happened to me once (also live abroad where pregnant women are treated very carefully and kindly by even total strangers which can be nice when you are pregnant, but also can be VERY awkward if you're not actually pregnant but someone wrongly assumes you are.

[mathanxiety]

Can you try turning it around to see the silver lining?

You got out of the supermarket faster than you might otherwise have?

I know you don't want this to be about covid, and I am not trying to shoehorn it into your thread, but you survived covid - and even if the cost was lack of exercise, you have lots of time now.

Don't let your weight cast a shadow on what you have today - you are still alive and kicking, and you have a daughter and husband who love you. Try not to be 'desperate' in your quest to lose the weight. Be patient and kind to yourself. You have been through a lot. You will get through this stage of your life and move into another.

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

@littlepattilou Amazon require photo ID from you whatever you look like. It’s just a blanket policy that you have to prove your age even if you look 90. And perhaps so they can say for sure who they have it to.

[JoyOrbison]

littlepatilou

Nope, def an issue with amazon, have to provide proof of age for alcohol. I'"m late 40s and rough looking as chiluff at the moment and I had to show my driving licence! I definitely don't look too young, I wish!!

[saltinesandcoffeecups]

[quote Shoutingovertheterraces]@IceSwallowCome It’s the law, they can get in trouble if they don’t adhere to it.[/quote]
Well there you go, they are overly cautious about following the law so anyone that has a wrinkle, a limp, or a bit of a gut will be pulled over so they don’t get in trouble.

OP, I’m not sure what you need from this thread, but rest assured all of hear has had a day when we didn’t dress our best and looked fat, pregnant, short legged, scrawny legged, or just plain weird.

I’m more worried you let this affect an otherwise good day with a family you love.