Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

[DrunkPosting]

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

[NiceGerbil]

Tbh if there was a kid kicking off during the ceremony you could always take a pause to ask a bridesmaid or groomsman to have a word! I mean if they're screaming from the word go.
Hard to say really what I'd do...
Tbh none of my friends family or dh's would do that. They're not dicks.
So maybe it depends on what your friends and family are like iyswim.

[subbysammiexoxo]

if they're actual relatives they can come or close friends children but I will find suitable babysitters who can stay with the children from 6pm-6am and pay half the bill

[NiceGerbil]

'If parents actually parented their kiss better, maybe they'd get invited.

Moat kids I know behave appallingly.'

Is this family or your friends?

It's not my experience. I suppose it really does depend on personal circs.

[ClarkeGriffin]

@NiceGerbil

'If parents actually parented their kiss better, maybe they'd get invited.

Moat kids I know behave appallingly.'

Is this family or your friends?

It's not my experience. I suppose it really does depend on personal circs.

God my autocorrect was so wrong there wasn't it?!

But anyway, both actually. My cousins were awful growing up. The youngest ones still are and they are in their teens. Some friends kids are badly behaved and they just sit there and do nothing. Some aren't too bad, but you can't exactly say 'your kid isn't allowed because you've done nothing to teach them manners' and then invite other kids can you? Best to just say no to all.

[NiceGerbil]

Your wedding went on till 6am? Lawks!

What you're saying then is you don't enjoy the company of your close friends children or children related to you.

I find that odd TBH. I really do and you probably wouldn't understand my pov either.

No way would dh say yes to leaving small children with a random till 6am! Or at all tbh. And as much as I was keen to have a break from the kids (PND etc) he would have a point.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that finished at 6am! Things must be more exciting round your way.

[omgthepain]

We have been invited to 2 weddings which have been child free

The first when dd was only 4 months old and breastfeeding still and my "friend" had a meltdown when I said If we can't bring dd with us we can't come
She said no my partner even offered to stand outside the room in the hotel they got married in and she still said no - it's not as if dd would be eating and cost her money!!

I said ok and said I'd meet her after her honeymoon and they could come for dinner, show us photos and we'll give them their gift

Never heard from her so no great loss there!! Saw her at Tesco a few months back and I walked the other direction!!

Second time was my partners work colleague and very good friend, it was a very posh black tie wedding and definately not a kids affair but by this time we had a 3 year old and a second breastfed baby
We sent our apologies and they said they really wanted us to be part of it so they invited us AND the kids for brunch the following morning which was lovely

[NiceGerbil]

Clarke if it's your older cousins you don't like then surely it's a 'very small wedding sorry' type thing.

Do teens count as children? When they say no kids I assumed it was younger ones!

I dunno I suppose. Where I grew up there's a real mix of people. Most of my friends are of Irish or Italian descent, also been to Hindu and Jewish weddings. So I think all of the weddings I've been to, it's been a multi generation, family, babies being dandled by elderly people type situation. So to me that's just normal.

So there may be those sorts of things going on with preferences as well.

[subbysammiexoxo]

every wedding I've been to finishes early morning (yes that means the after party/reception not the ceremony that's a PG affair) I wasn't saying that it went on till then I'm saying for parents who want to drink it gives them time , while all children are cared for by professionals. You misread my comment and came across as boring.

[Milesbennettdyson]

I don’t have an obsessive desire for power. I had an obsessive desire for my wedding not to be ruined by someone else’s snotty nosed badly behaved child.

I had an obsessive desire to enjoy my wedding.

You either exams child free or stayed home. Choice.

[ClarkeGriffin]

@NiceGerbil

Clarke if it's your older cousins you don't like then surely it's a 'very small wedding sorry' type thing.

Do teens count as children? When they say no kids I assumed it was younger ones!

I dunno I suppose. Where I grew up there's a real mix of people. Most of my friends are of Irish or Italian descent, also been to Hindu and Jewish weddings. So I think all of the weddings I've been to, it's been a multi generation, family, babies being dandled by elderly people type situation. So to me that's just normal.

So there may be those sorts of things going on with preferences as well.

Yeah but when we were all younger, I wouldn't have blamed people for not inviting any of us. I can see exactly why they wouldn't.

Who wants kids who run around screaming, breaking things, complaining about the food with parents who sit there and laugh? Especially at a wedding.

When you've paid a lot of money, you want a nice day. Not a day like that. Got loads of those days to look forward too when the couple has kids if they haven't already.

[NiceGerbil]

Omg - the no bf babies but I'll be upset if you don't come thing is just really incomprehensible tbh.

Tbh with a young baby a lot of people wouldn't be comfy leaving it for a long time and that's natural tbh.

In those circs a sorry can't make it should be accepted no probs. And should be anticipated tbf.

I've only seen this sort of stuff on MN though.

[NiceGerbil]

'Who wants kids who run around screaming, breaking things, complaining about the food with parents who sit there and laugh? '

The children I know don't do that. Breaking things while their parents laugh? Nope.

I think the problem here may be people's friends and families tbh. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who laughed while their kid destroyed my house. Tbh.

[H2OConnoisseur]

@NiceGerbil

Your wedding went on till 6am? Lawks!

What you're saying then is you don't enjoy the company of your close friends children or children related to you.

I find that odd TBH. I really do and you probably wouldn't understand my pov either.

No way would dh say yes to leaving small children with a random till 6am! Or at all tbh. And as much as I was keen to have a break from the kids (PND etc) he would have a point.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that finished at 6am! Things must be more exciting round your way.

I think it's just a difference in idea as to what a wedding should be like. Some people see weddings as family affairs where of course children would be welcome as they're part of the family. Others see weddings as a ceremony for the couple and a good time to relax, eat good food, and spend a couple of hours in adult company.

Children can be good ice breakers between strangers too, yes. But they also tend to shift the conversation and focus towards them. Not to mention that not everyone (a majority in my social group at least) enjoys interacting with children that aren't their own.

The best weddings I've been to were childfree ones with wine tasting, gourmet courses, old friends (some of whom I haven't seen in years!), new people to meet, and a boatload of nostalgia. It's definitely a different dynamic with children around.

[NiceGerbil]

Yes for sure. Horses for courses isn't it. Also what's the norm in your circles. And it seems whether your friends and family have any manners or not!

I'm still interested in the 6am wedding. Babysitter from 6-6? So you roll in after seeing the sun up (I'm imagining a kind of hippy thing poss with some chemical assistance!). At 6 am. Which is just the sort of time kids are up and going... Sounds pretty hardcore!

I'm intrigued tbh. There's no venues round here that would do that bar a club. Even hotel bars like to call it a day at 3 or 4. What are the old folks doing? Genuinely I want to know about this wedding it sounds kind of awesomely bonkers!

[lighteincastlewindow]

If you don't have kids, then sometimes you just can't see the other point of view and I think that Is fair enough.

[KizzyMoo]

I prefer a kid free wedding tbh.

[JustLyra]

I don’t mind a kid free wedding. It wouldn’t be my choice, but it’s up to the couple. It’s really tedious when they get huffy if you can’t go though.

My cousin didn’t speak to me for 15 years because I “didn’t make the effort” to go to her wedding. We have passing civil conversation now, but it’s blatant we both think the other was out of order.

We grew up together, went to school together, had the same circle of friends and were very close. She met her husband-to-be at my birthday party - he was my cousin, from the other side of my family.

So, all of my friends and both sides of my family were going. My ex was away with the military and his Mum was in hospital. So who I was supposed to ask to babysit I have no idea.

[CuntyMcBollocks]

It's not up to you to decide what kind of weddings people have OP. It's entirely up to the couple getting married.

[BlackDaffodil]

OP are you just baiting MN?


This 🌸

[merrymelody]

Weddings would be soooo boring for most children! Sitting still and quiet through the ceremony itself, not having a clue what's going on and not caring anyway, hanging around with a crowd of unknown adults, sitting through speeches, interminable meal, not allowed to run around and play - ugh! No child in their right mind would want to go to a wedding!

[springiscoming12]

People who think differently to you are not automatically wrong

[LuellaPilkington]

I’ve been to some weddings which have essentially been fancy kids’ parties. Kids running down the isle, running round the tables knocking stuff over...toddlers screaming through speaches. Not my cup of tea. We had a child free wedding apart from flower boy and girl who we knew were impeccably behaved. Our venue didn’t really want kids either which didn’t give us much choice. Mostly comments from guests saying they enjoyed a proper piss up and party without having to think of looking after the kids 😂 One guest upset they couldn’t bring their 3-year old and they opted out. Fair enough.

[LovePoppy]

@AntiSocialDistancer

Yanbu at all. Children are people, part of families.

I don't get banning them.

Does that mean they should go everywhere their parents do? Work? Bachelor parties? Girls nights out?

Oh wait, you’ll say “weddings are a family event”

Where does it end? Under age children? Over age? Siblings? Parents? So to invite one couple, they bring 10 people?

You’re ridiculous

[PuttingOnTheKitsch]

@SisterAgatha

I get why people have this sort of wedding, I just wouldn’t. Went to loads of weddings as a kid and it was always great fun, can promise you the adults never saw us all evening, so we were no bother. We were all outside hanging out.

Mind you, in the 80’s/90’s you had weddings where it wasn’t £100+ a head, you just had a hall and a buffet, invite whoever you liked, done.

Those days need to return.

Modern weddings are unspeakably dull and ridiculously expensive. Plus the anything from 18 to 6 months of drama beforehand. Terrible.

Fair play to the OP for not mincing their words. You may as well word things bluntly as the Competitive Child Haters on MN will always read it that way any way.

[cabingirl]

You might not want at your wedding:

1. The really small ones who scream and cry through the service so that the congregation cannot actually hear the vows (yes, you might assume that the parents would take a baby screaming at the top of their lungs out of the building but I've been to over 3 weddings where that did not happen - and then how do you make a fuss and insist that they do leave the building without creating more upset and noise)

1. The 3-4 really badly behaved kids who you cannot easily exclude without making it a child-free wedding (it's worth it to remove that stress if you have kids like this in your potential guest list.

1. The venue which has no kid menu option so that each guest no matter how old is charged the full $70 a head menu. If you have a 50 person limit for your wedding and you are paying $70 a head then maybe you want to be able to include all your adult friends and family and don't want to pay $70 for a 7-year-old who only eats plain chicken and chips.

Also weddings are often super long and boring for kids - why would you want to put them through that.

IF the couple are arranging the type of wedding which suits and caters for kids of all ages then I'm sure they will be included.