Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

[DrunkPosting]

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

'. Kids running down the isle, running round the tables knocking stuff over...toddlers screaming through speaches. '

I've never been to a wedding where children did that/ were allowed to do that.

I'm thinking this is a combination of the norms in your social circle (I don't know anyone who's has a child free wedding) and what your friends/ family are like.

I'm surprised so many posters have friends and family who are totally lacking in manners.

So like I said. Horses for courses.

'AntiSocialDistancer

Yanbu at all. Children are people, part of families.

I don't get banning them.

Does that mean they should go everywhere their parents do? Work? Bachelor parties? Girls nights out?

Oh wait, you’ll say “weddings are a family event”

Where does it end? Under age children? Over age? Siblings? Parents? So to invite one couple, they bring 10 people?

You’re ridiculous'

I genuinely don't understand this post.

For many people weddings are a family affair yes.

Like I said. I probably am influenced by the norms in my social group and where I grew up. Most of my friends are of Irish or Italian descent. I have also been to Jewish and Hindu weddings. In all of those backgrounds, in general (not always obv) weddings are a thing for all generations. To get together and celebrate.

How is that ridiculous? I genuinely don't understand. And what's it got to do with work? Work is not a wedding, a celebration.

Can you tell me why for eg you think the norms that I am used to, that are from a mix of different cultures etc, are ridiculous?

Child free weddings are the best weddings. Parents get a break and can kick back, no kids in the way, no minding behaviour. I feel sorry for people who are turned off by spending time with adults with no children in the vicinity.

Like sorry I don't want to always be around little Tarquinius and Arbellina but let's face facts - most stuff is better without kids around. And not everyone has to like your kid

Does that mean they should go everywhere their parents do? Work? Bachelor parties? Girls nights out?

I have been on two hen do's in recent years where children were brought along and it was shit because the dynamic completely changes. I want a conversation with adults about adult things. Hen do 1, the 9yo and 13yo girls were brought along because "my husband is absolutely useless looking after them, I could never trust him" the kids stayed out til 11pm! Hen do 2 was a woman who brought her 9 month old to the restaurant we started in - again a useless husband apparently. I felt SO sorry for her as her DD screamed all night and we ended up passing the baby around so mum could eat her tapas. Hate to sound mean but both hen do's would have been better if the family had all stayed home.

Worse than both of those - About 10 years ago it was my sister's hen do and we went to Magaluf (not even sorry it was bloody brilliant) and in our hotel was a hen do of 24 women and 1 10 year old. She was the niece of the bride and didn't want to miss out as she was bridesmaid i mean WTF are people thinking?!

Each to the own , the issue I have is when some siblings kids are invited and another siblings isn't as thats not far or similar scenarios , but kids can add huge numbers
I had 25 at mine they were all well behaved though and we put on some kids entertainment to but I had my own 2 there as well so it was all good , but for some that would be too much

I love my DC more then anything in this world. Still, I can totally understand that some adults don’t want him to be at their wedding day and that I would not feel insulted or refuse the invitation for this.

In my opinions the only megalomaniacs are those who are so entitled that they expect that a couple adjusts THEIR special day to cater to others’ DC.

What about the ones who say no bf babies and still expect the woman to come for the whole day and evening?

OP isn't coming back.

She's posted this goady thread and left 🙄

What I find interesting on the million threads on this is that from my reading (which may be skewed!)

The people who would have/ did have/ are fine with children at weddings seen seem to say. Well it's up to them. Can make for difficult logistics / not able to go. Not what I would choose but whatever.

And the people who like no kids at weddings talk about stuff like. You can't expect anyone to like your kids. Babies scream through it and don't get taken out. (Says more about your guests than the baby). Children run around screaming and smashing stuff up while their parents laugh (again, what are your friends and family like?!). The idea that weddings are about families is ridiculous (!). Etc etc.

The fact that wedding celebrations are related to what you're used to/ your culture is not addressed.

It's the norm round here. It's what I'm used to. That's all. If people want no kids at their wedding then obviously that's fine (as long as they understand some people might not be able to come).

But why is the idea that for some people weddings are a multi generational thing seen as, well. Ridiculous. Etc.

It's the norm around here. Are people who have a standard Hindu or Italian wedding ridiculous?

I don't get it tbh.

The comments about kids screaming and smashing stuff and etc are odd as well. That's on their parents- the friends and family invited. Why are so many people's friends and family so lacking in basic courtesy at the wedding of someone they are supposed to care about?

Doesn’t surprise given the short OP

Of course she isn't black!

Light blue touchpaper and run!

The comments about kids screaming and smashing stuff and etc are odd as well. That's on their parents- the friends and family invited. Why are so many people's friends and family so lacking in basic courtesy at the wedding of someone they are supposed to care about?

Because it happens...

people dump their kids on the 'function' and enjoy the wedding.. ignoring the kids.. and nobody wants to marshal someone else's kids behaviour at a wedding.

You're correct its very bad manners.

None of the weddings I've been to have the children or the adults done that.

Maybe I would think differently if they had.

But tbh if I had friends/ family who behaved like that I'm not sure I'd be inviting them. I mean someone who likes you wouldn't let their kids do that at your wedding. Smashing stuff? I mean wtf.

If I knew that my friends and family cared so little about me then fuck child free. I'd be getting married without any of them there. It's the parents who are at fault. The adults. Child free is a sticking plaster over what sounds like a bunch of really pretty shit adults.

I think it really depends on your wedding budget. As a previous poster said, children can add an enormous amount to the cost of a wedding, especially if like my husband, you are one of many siblings and they all have children, then your friends have children, your cousins have children, your colleagues have children. Sadly, you need to have either everyone 's children or nobody's as it is so easy to cause offence. Then you get why are so and so's children here but mine weren't invited?

You make your choice though. Everyone along within budget and child friendly venue etc. Or, have a more expensive place and limit guests.

That's entirely up to the couple obv.

Agree it needs to be all or nothing.

TBH the worst behaved people at weddings are adults who get really pissed!

But yes it's down to what sort of wedding the couple want.

Everyone is to sober and not having fun when they bring their children to a wedding, it should be a child free event so everyone can get drunk and enjoy them selves til midnight, not swanning off at 7pm to put their children to bed and having to deal with them acting up during the day. Noo thankyou!

What a rude title, Op!!

At my second wedding, I was 39 and my husband 10 years older, all of our friends in the same age groups generally. The only ‘children’ there were ours, my ds (18) and my 2 step children (24 and 27)
None of our close friends that were at the marriage and lunch party afterwards, had small children - Should we have borrowed some, Op...🤔 or just enjoyed our lovely day?
Neither of us could be described as megalomaniacs... just a couple of middle-aged widowers lucky to have found each other, having a smashing day in the lovely weather! Having attended more than one large costly wedding utterly ruined by badly behaved brats, I think I preferred my day!!
One horrible day sticks in my mind...from 1985 - huge posh wedding, poor bride had to have sisters child as flower girl... the minute the service started up, so did the flower girl! Running up and down the aisle, screaming, shouting, rolling on the floor etc - the video was unwatchable as all you could hear was her!!
My DH refused to go back for the evening party... I was glad!!

I have kids and I would rather go to a wedding without them.

I had my sister’s wedding a couple of weeks ago and we had the kids at the ceremony and then my in laws babysat them for the reception, I loved being able to relax and not worry about watching/entertaining them for a few hours...

Kids are wedding list baggage, and I have three myself. Expensive, noisy, wedding baggage.

@DrunkPosting

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

You paying for it then, obviously being one of the 2 people marrying?

No?

Not your choice who attends then?

Although this is a baity thread....

I don't have children. I never will. I dislike children. I tolerate my friends children.
They ain't coming to any of my parties nor my wedding.

What a goady thread. Child free weddings are the best weddings. The vote says it all.

@Malin52

Although this is a baity thread....

I don't have children. I never will. I dislike children. I tolerate my friends children.
They ain't coming to any of my parties nor my wedding.

😂🤣

YANBU
People seem to have some very strange ideas of what a wedding is. As if it's just another piss with your mates. A glorified extension of a stag/hen night or a weekend in Benners

A wedding is supposed to be a solemn declaration in front of witnesses but also traditionally a family event. Family includes children.

*piss up with your mates