Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

[DrunkPosting]

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

[MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously]

Children take up valuable places that could be used for the couple's actual friends

Some parents think it's cute to listen to their child talk/cry/tantrum through the service and won't rush to remove them.

Weddings are really expensive - the bride and groom should have what they want. Children change the dynamic of an event and don't have to be centred in everything - sometimes adults are allowed to have things just for themselves!

[greeneyedlulu]

I love my friends, I do not love their children, most are well behaved but there are a couple of kids I would happily not have at my wedding and would purposely have a child free wedding to insure those kids aren't around. I'm sympathetic to a point but a day I'm spending so much money on will go how I like it to go, not the way of a child who is a dick (No SN, literally just a dick) I've seen how they behave at BBQs, parties etc..... no thanks

[Shopliftersoftheworldunite]

Surely it’s more megalomaniac to think your kids deserve to be invited to every single event your friends may host?

Just leave them at home and get the fuck over yourself. No one is that interested in other people’s kids.

[Amammai]

Sitting through a ceremony and speeches plus a long formal meal might be fine for an older child but for an under 10 I should imagine it’s pretty dull, unless they are a bridesmaid etc? Also, with little children there, guests would probably need to leave earlier. And as PP have said, most venues have limited numbers and you pay full price for food at some venues too!

[FluffMagnet]

What @TheNestedIf said. At our wedding, one young guest took to kicking a football repeatedly against the side of marquee (behind the top table) whilst our speeches were going on (we'd put games outside for children to keep them occupied). His parents sat laughing and pointing at the shadow and noise, knowing full well it was their DC. Various members of the top table, including me (bride) had to leave to tell them to pack it in, but it restarted the moment we went back inside. Eventually my cousin's partner herded all the kids away from the marquee and stayed with them until the speeches and meal was over. They weren't his kids, but the parents weren't looking lively to their kids' disruptive behaviour.

[SleepyMathematician]

I’m a teacher. I love children but they are my work. So I had a child free wedding day. I just wanted it to feel like my day and nothing like a work day. Plus, being a teacher, I’m only too aware that some parents have absolutely zero control over their children. I didn’t want that at my wedding. YABU.

[Oncemoretwicemore]

I am friends with my friends, not their kids.

So thankful we got married before all the kids (my own included) came along.

[DonnatellaLyman]

Getting pissed off with child free weddings is a very MN thing. It’s arsey not to invite your nieces and nephews, but your school/work/uni mates kids? Nah!

Totally agree re restricting numbers of people you actually like/changing the vibe/everyone leaving early. In covid times it’s even harder. 4/5 family kids at a wedding, lovely. 40+ because your friends all had kids first? Different ball game (and I say that as the first of my friendship group to tie the knot).

Having said that, tiny babies don’t count. They go where their mum goes.

[IceCreamAndCandyfloss]

I don’t get it either. It just sends the message of we aren’t paying for your child to attend to me.
I get some parents won’t deal with poor behaviour or remove a crying child etc but they will be in the minority.

[IdblowJonSnow]

You're being ridiculous OP. It would literally have halved the number of friends we could have invited.
Plus,how do adults stay and drink until 1am if they're wrangling knackered toddlers?!
When we said our wedding was child free our friends were delighted! Night off!

[PurpleDaisies]

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

I don’t get it either. It just sends the message of we aren’t paying for your child to attend to me.
I get some parents won’t deal with poor behaviour or remove a crying child etc but they will be in the minority.

Over forty children would have to be invited to mine. It’s not money, it’s space. And atmosphere.

I’m glad I got married before my friends all had kids.

[dementedma]

Rubbish. Kids at weddings are a pain in the arse.

[picturesandpickles]

I wouldn't say megalomaniacs but I've never been invited to a child free wedding and I think that's nice. If I got invited to one it'd really put me off.

[overwork]

Yours may not be. Why on earth dies it bother you what others do? Don't go if you don't like it.

[Hawkins001]

I'd say, you only have to watch YouTube to see how disruptive some children can be, with that in mind, which would you prefer for your wedding ?

[ceilingsand]

Bonkers to expect a marrying couple to use up half their wedding places for your kids.

[HunterHearstHelmsley]

Even the pill disagrees

[saltinesandcoffeecups]

So the people who can’t fathom children at weddings, do bring your kids to cocktail parties, bars, fancy dinners? Weirdly those who always bitch about this don’t seem the type to bring their kids to other drinking venues.

If I wasn’t planning on having a DJ or a band, do I have to get one just so your precious is entertained?

Do you normally spend 35-50 on their dinner?

In what other ways do you expect your children to be (literally) catered to?

[DrJPuddleDuck]

I agree with you. I think of all events, weddings are lovely events to involve children in. But then I see marriage as an important part of family life - so it would make sense to me for children to be there to witness them.

[PandemicAtTheDisco]

Someone at work always kicks up a fuss when her children are not invited somewhere. Her children are really badly behaved and she says she struggles to get babysitters but her parents will almost always help out when she needs them to.

I'd say the megalomaniacs are the ones trying to force their own wishes onto others.

[Igotnewbarstools]

@HappyDaysToCome

The venue takes 100. That’s 50 my side 50 DH’s.

If I invite couples that’s 25 people from my side plus their partners.

If they all bring 2 children that’s 12.5 people I can invite plus their families.

So out of 100 people attending I can only invite 12.5 of my closest family and friends.

Shall I pick which children I actually know/like? Or just say no to all children as that’s more fair.

I didn’t have a childless wedding, but it was a bit tricky on the numbers as I was late getting married so all my friends, cousins etc already had children. Luckily, enough people chose not to bring their children, and I loved the company of those children who did come along. But I wouldn’t be offended if someone else chose a child free wedding.

This. Absolutely.

[stayathomer]

There is such a small window of years where a wedding is suitable for children. Ceremony, long speeches waiting around, waiting for food that they don'talways like. Yes they get a second wind for some dancing but then extreme tiredness hits. Also the adults have to watch them so aren't really present for the wedding and can't chat to others. I adore my kids and hate being away from them but weddings are lovely to go to on your own/as a couple

[kittenkipping]

My god. I consider marriage an important part of family life- MARRIAGE not a bloody expensive party. Children with was many marriages in their lifetime- the party that begins them is of no relevance to valuing marriage as part of family life. Its not up to couples to give children fond memories of going to weddings and hanging out. It's not for couples to provide you "joy" at seeing children in gatherings. It's up to them and having had my own wedding rather ruined by children (they weren't even "naughty" just children being children- baby cried, toddler put hand in cake, and worst - my best friend and sister left early. If I had said child free they would have had childcare booked) if I were to do it all again - it would no children, black tie, with very expensive food and fewer people.

[WellLarDeDar]

Lol OP are you just baiting MN?

It's obviously up to the bride and groom.

[HowWeAre]

then it isn’t an adults only type of event

If it’s your wedding then it can absolutely be whatever type of event you want it to be.