Child free weddings are for megalomaniacs

[DrunkPosting]

Unless you are consummating the marriage during the ceremony, then it isn’t an adults only type of event

Are you still a megalomaniacal attention seeker if there aren't any children to invite?

Best hang around a toddler group and give invites out to random parents so their children can benefit from a social occasion nit designed for them. Never mind your real friends and family.

@IceSwallowCome

Are you still a megalomaniacal attention seeker if there aren't any children to invite?

You need to find some somewhere otherwise it simply cannot be a joyous occasion. 😔

@mathanxiety

"It's two people, each from their own family, and the families are connected by means of the wedding of the two individuals, whether the two people have children or not"

Right so that covers family children.
?

Why does it mean that you have to invite the children of your mate from uni who you have never met?

@DragonMuff, because you are acknowledging that your friend from university has a life that has moved on from the days when you first met, just as yours has or you wouldn't be having a wedding, and you are respectful of the fact that your friend now has enlarged her life to accommodate a child (or two or three...)

Friendships grow, no? People's lives change, no? We take the changes in stride and accommodate them, no?

I assume if you've never met their children you don't know their partner that well either. Do you refuse to invite a university friend's partner on the basis that you've never met them or don't know them, or they weren't in the friend's life when you knew them?

Why are you inviting people you're clearly not close to to your wedding?

Why do you seem to think I can’t acknowledge that our lives have moved on without inviting her children to our wedding? And the two families you mentioned in your initial post, namely the family of the bride and the groom, have nothing to do with friends’ children, who are not part of either of those families.

My post was a hypothetical example not a real person but several of my good friends I don’t really know their children because we live far apart so when it is possible to meet up we do so halfway without the children who stay at home with their father. Other friends who live more locally I know their children very well, go to their birthday parties, have play dates etc. Doesn’t mean I would want them at my wedding and why on earth should it? But I have “accommodated” the life change my friends have had, in so many ways.

None of that has anything to do with wanting an adult occasion on your wedding day.

I’ve read your post several times and I still cannot for the life of me understand why you think that everyone has to have the same idea of a wedding as you do. Why can you not accept that weddings mean different things to different people? If that’s a big family affair to you, then that’s great and I would never criticise for that. If that’s you eloping with just you and your partner, also great. If it’s a big fancy white wedding with no children, go for it. Why aren’t people entitled to want something different to you from their wedding day?

And I invited everyone’s partners to our wedding but plenty of people don’t, lots of threads to that effect on MN!

Those child-free weddings sound awful. Long sit down dinners. Lewd best man speeches. Whisky tasting (why?!).

The weddings I go to have all ages and are far less formal and more fun

Agree and it's probably getting now where anyone over 50 will be excluded too.

The weddings of the future will probably be just a meaningless extension of a stag and hen night. A shame

The weddings of the future will probably be just a meaningless extension of a stag and hen night

It’s absolutely not up to you to say what’s ‘meaningful’ for someone else. Wind your neck in.

And I can’t for the life of me understand why people think it’s more ‘meaningful’ to have children you aren’t particularly close to at a wedding rather than your actual friends.

Ultimately this comes down to guests wanting a nice day out for their family and creating a bullshit ‘moral’ position to justify that desire. It’s utterly transparent.

The only important ‘rule’ is that the B&G have the kind of day THEY want.

Agree and it's probably getting now where anyone over 50 will be excluded too

!!!
Where on earth has that come from?! Obviously that isn’t happening and isn’t going to happen.

It’s absolutely not up to you to say what’s ‘meaningful’ for someone else.

I didn't, and this is a discussion forum where people have different opinions. Get used to it

Wind your neck in.

No

I didn't

Yes you did. As you well know.

You have your own ‘meaningful’ wedding and leave others to have theirs.

Yes you did. As you well know.

You have your own ‘meaningful’ wedding and leave others to have theirs

No, I imagined a scenario in the future

Ultimately this comes down to guests wanting a nice day out for their family and creating a bullshit ‘moral’ position to justify that desire. It’s utterly transparent.

It probably is for some people. I just can’t believe that people think a wedding is a great day out for a family with children. Many parts of weddings are not particularly fun for children and therefore not fun for parents.

i imagined a scenario in the future

Based on your interpretation of behaviour now and passed judgement on it. Like I say, you don’t get to say what is meaningful for anyone else.

Many parts of weddings are not particularly fun for children and therefore not fun for parents.

Agreed

@mikejardine

Op yanbu I agree. The formality, the ponciness, the snowflake attitudes to "my day my rulz" are not nearly as insufferable at weddings with kids present imo.

So true.

Not forgetting "I'm so fucking cool. I hate all children. ESPECIALLY my own.

.

Like I say, you don’t get to say what is meaningful for anyone else.

FYI. Within the rules and guidelines of the forum I can say whatever I like. No matter how much you might order me to 'wind my neck'

And also it’s strange that people get so bothered by this issue. People can choose to have their wedding however they choose. And as a guest you can choose to go or not. If you care about the people getting married and can get childcare, you can just go along and see them enjoy the day they want, even if that’s different to the day you would choose. It’s just a day.

Within the rules and guidelines of the forum I can say whatever I like.

And as it’s irrelevant to anyone else, we’ll all happily scroll on by

And as it’s irrelevant to anyone else,

In your opinion

we’ll all happily scroll on by

Not only do you dish out orders but you speak for everyone else now?

Agree and it's probably getting now where anyone over 50 will be excluded too.

With the shit attitudes like on this it won't be just over 50s😂

Honestly. People cannot imagine fun and joyous occasion without kids and think it's all just super formal long sitdown meals and then everyone just quietly sitting or something, something is wrong woth you.

"Ultimately this comes down to guests wanting a nice day out for their family and creating a bullshit ‘moral’ position to justify that desire. It’s utterly transparent."

This is what it comes down to. Some parents cannot grasp the concept of their little angels not being as wonderful to everyone else as they are to them and so they obviously must be invited everywhere the parents are.

Utter bollocks.

I’m definitely a megalomaniac as if I were to get married I’d elope and deprive everyone in my life of the transcendent joy of attending my wedding.

Ultimately this comes down to guests wanting a nice day out for their family and creating a bullshit ‘moral’ position to justify that desire. It’s utterly transparent

This. And not understanding that children are different to adults however much they would like to argue against that. And their behaviour is unpredictable because they are still learning. However a wedding - unless it's one of those horrific sounding ones that are catered for children - is not the right place for that learning.

Some people really are rather childish themselves and obviously have struggled with being an adult. I tend to think that the people who prefer the company of random children rather than actual adults are in that category. They aren't people I would want at any social occasion I a, organising.

My cousin's wedding was ruined by a small child running up and down the aisle repeatedly, then grabbing its mother's hat and stamping on it. Cue much hilarity from large part of the congregation.

Sorry it this is an unpopular view but they weren't in the habit of attending church and didn't seem to have much idea of how to behave in one.