Page 14 | To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

getyourfreakon · 2021-05-05T21:58:53+00:00

As per the thread title. Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one. What are your feelings on the subject?

Rhannion · 07/05/2021 01:04

My teenage years were spent in second hand black velvet, DMs, dragon bangles and lots of other goth style clothes and still love and wear some bits and pieces that could be called goth. I don’t judge what people wear.

Tealightsandd · 07/05/2021 01:07

How boring if we were all clones. It's great seeing different looks.

Tealightsandd · 07/05/2021 01:08

I judge those who judge.

Rhannion · 07/05/2021 01:08

@SpongeCakeAddict

Happily a long-term alternative here, I tried removing the goth, but once it's a part of you, it never leaves...

Have had all sorts of treatment because of the way I've dressed, over the years. Including assaults. It's quite bad, my friend's and I have been physically assaulted for looking different, verbally assaulted, strangers seem to think it's OK to come up to us and grab our hair (extensions and braids), or pull at piercings (old lady on the bus, she wanted to know if it was real!). And I've been sexually assaulted by men and women who have assumed the way I dress is provoking or inviting, and done for their gratification rather than because it's how I've liked to dress.

These days I've worked out my own personal style taking into consideration the styles I like from the alt scene, and what is most comfortable and appropriate for my needs (wheelchair user, some outfits are impractical and uncomfortable). I'm very obviously alternative but also while wearing pretty average clothing.

I won't wear anything hugely interesting unless I'm with reinforcements.

That’s awful what happened to you. Some people are just bastards

Rhannion · 07/05/2021 01:10

Your daughter sounds great.
Mortica was my nickname !

MedusasBadHairDay · 07/05/2021 07:17

I don’t really understand goth, so to me it looks like a flight of fancy. I don’t understand anyone picking this made-up culture over their family. This would signal very weak family bonds - then I would judge that.

You are going to have to explain this bit for me, because I have no idea what you mean.

BeneathYourWisdom · 07/05/2021 07:26

I try not to judge but I think we all make unconscious judgements about how people dress/style themselves.

If someone’s clothing is out of sync with the weather eg long heavy coat in summer I wonder what they’re trying to conceal. Maybe it’s a fashion or style but maybe it’s more sinister. It gets my attention and I watch the way they walk.

Lots of facial piercings; I just think why? And try to avoid looking at the piercings as they look so sore.

It’s when people stand out from a crowd for their style of dress I wonder what their aim is? To make a statement, to get attention, or because they’re oblivious to what others are wearing?

OwlBeThere · 07/05/2021 07:40

@Yellownotblue, there are goth doctors and lawyers. They just tone it down for work. I’ve never had an issue with ‘other ethnic groups’, I’m not white myself, I’m mixed race.

I don’t really understand goth, so to me it looks like a flight of fancy. I don’t understand anyone picking this made-up culture over their family. This would signal very weak family bonds - then I would judge that
I don’t understand this, who said anything about family?!

malificent7 · 07/05/2021 07:46

I love the alternative look and the only reason why I havn't fully embraced it is because of work.

MedusasBadHairDay · 07/05/2021 07:53

It’s when people stand out from a crowd for their style of dress I wonder what their aim is? To make a statement, to get attention, or because they’re oblivious to what others are wearing?

Or maybe, and I know this is a really out there suggestion, because they like the clothes?

Mistressinthetulips · 07/05/2021 08:00

Having read the thread I'm reflecting on how my own dress has become so much more "mainstream" over the years and I think there are several elements - I must admit I do think some of the more unusual styles of dress are "a young person's game" though I admire people who do it rather than judge them. But with a full time job (rather than student) and a more pedestrian life revolving around young children rather than every other night being spent in a pub somewhere, I suppose the opportunity to dress up diminishes too.

lottiegarbanzo · 07/05/2021 08:21

I think you're confusing 'being noticed' (and possibly judged) with 'getting attention' @OwlBeThere

You will be noticed (and possibly judged) by many, many people, whose response is to pay you no attention.

I've read what you've said and tried to get the bottom of your insistence that you don't dress the way you do in order to be noticed. It comes full circle back to your own insistence that you do dress that way to be noticed - in order to control people's response to you. You dress in a, very noticeable, 'leave me alone' costume.

Lalliella · 07/05/2021 08:24

No.

The Coronation Street story is crap imo.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/05/2021 08:46

Tragic as it is, the Sophie Lancaster murder happened over a decade ago. Attitudes have shifted a lot lately and people are less judgemental, it's cool to be "different" these days.

MedusasBadHairDay · 07/05/2021 08:56

@Waxonwaxoff0

Tragic as it is, the Sophie Lancaster murder happened over a decade ago. Attitudes have shifted a lot lately and people are less judgemental, it's cool to be "different" these days.

Is it though? I feel like I see less people dressing in an "alternative" way compared to back then. There seems to be more conformity, and IME more conformity means less tolerance for those who don't.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 07/05/2021 09:02

@MedusasBadHairDay it's just a sign of the times. Goth wasn't anything rebellious really, it was just another trend of the moment, like punk in the 70s and mod in the 80s. Times change. I don't think there's more conformity, goth has just dropped out of fashion and the people that would have been goths 20 years ago wear things more in trend of this decade.

MedusasBadHairDay · 07/05/2021 09:07

Oh yeah, I'm not expecting to see goths exactly (that was already dying out when I was dressing more goth, and emo was the new thing) but I don't see any obvious new subculture style either.

FindingMeno · 07/05/2021 09:11

I'm not sure I judge as such, but it gives me opinions on a person - what they believe in, lifestyle etc.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/05/2021 09:58

I guess I would notice it, but it would be more in terms of an unconscious assessment of “I like that” or “I don’t like that” that I probably apply to everyone. Perhaps I shouldn’t but it’s just going on in my subconscious!

But yes i personally prefer it to some other styles, even though it’s not my style.

EmeraldShamrock · 07/05/2021 10:08

Tragic as it is, the Sophie Lancaster murder happened over a decade ago. Attitudes have shifted a lot lately and people are less judgemental, it's cool to be "different" these days.
I'm not sure it depends on the area. I was in the shop last week and some young teenagers called DD an emo and had a long dirty look stare knowing her DM was there.
She was telling her dad later she said "these girls with orange faces mocked me" she is on the spectrum the orange face comment was a genuine observation.
My niece's who wear tan etc think it's dangerous for alternative dressing people.
I wear tan too, not judging.

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 07/05/2021 10:56

I don’t really understand goth, so to me it looks like a flight of fancy. I don’t understand anyone picking this made-up culture over their family. This would signal very weak family bonds - then I would judge that.

What? I thought OP just wore a certain style of clothes how is she chosing it over her family?

Beatinghearts · 07/05/2021 11:30

No as long as people treat others with I think nothing negatively of them. No matter how they choose to dress their life their choice.

Beatinghearts · 07/05/2021 11:30

With respect

MasterBeth · 07/05/2021 11:32

I would judge anyone dressing as a goth in 2021 to be hugely unimaginative.

TurquoiseDragon · 07/05/2021 11:41

@Meruem

Anyone under about 40, I don’t bat an eyelid. As a young mum I had bright red hair, shaved at the sides! But when I see people in their 50’s/60’s still going full on goth, mod, rocker etc then yeah I do find it a bit odd I suppose, like they’re trying to cling to their youth. I remember a guy I knew in his 50’s, very little hair left but would fashion what he had into a quiff! Looked ridiculous!

I’m in my 50s now and I do wear what I like, I have a pair of hello kitty converse that I love! So it’s not as if I’m a total conformist. But I do think there should be some adaptation as you age. To me that’s a natural progression. But obviously that is just my opinion!

I'm also in my 50s. I don't see any reason for a "natural progression". IMO, your attitude is from the same place as the comments my mum got years ago about cutting her long hair "because you're married now". It's the idea you have to do certain things at certain ages, when no one has ever determined who decided these rules or why.

It's also the case that these "rules" seem to be predominantly aimed at women. I wonder why?

I have no illusions about my lack of youth. I wear clothing I like and feel comfortable in, which just happens to be a cross between biker, metal, hippy and even goth at times.

I even (shock, horror) have green and blue hair at times.