To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

[BeneathYourWisdom]

But my entire point was that what you seem to consider ‘alt’ clothing...isn’t.

Alternative clothing to me is any style of clothing that is unusual enough for people to take a second look or feel uneasy. Not just goth/punk. Maybe I’m wrong and the word has changed it’s meaning?

Clothes that stand out because they’re inappropriate for the weather?
Or clothes with cutesy pictures/sparkles/mismatched primary colours resembling clothes designed for a child?
Multiple facial piercings, ear stretchers, mermaid hair, historical costumes, voluminous dungarees with bare feet?
Are these not ‘alternative’ outfits? Or do only goth styles count as alt?

The female consultant who came to work in revealing clothes more suited to a BDSM dungeon; IMO that was ‘alternative’, and fine out of work, yet grossly inappropriate for a hospital. The dress code for doctors back then was smart/casual (suits, formal dresses, tailored trousers with blouses) so how she got away with corsets and mini skirts I’ll never know. Imagine a crash call goes off and you’re trying to run to the scene in 5” platform boots? 😳

[MedusasBadHairDay]

@DiscoStusMoonboots

Mid-thirties goth here. Tried dressing 'fashionably' in my late 20s, but have been dressed all in black since I was 11. My niece is 13 and has just embraced the dark side too - she'll be wearing fishnets and a black dress to my wedding later this year and I couldn't be happier/prouder.

I love that!

I do wonder what my kids will do when they are in their teens. My parents were very normal, but I had a friend whose dad used to be a punk and she followed in his footsteps.

[Lovemusic33]

I think there will always be people that judge but I would like to think it’s better than it used to be.

I wear a mixture of clothes and styles but often dress differently than your average person, I have never really had anyone comment. I have friends that dress alternative and several trans friends and have never experienced any negative comments when out with them (not saying it doesn’t happen).

I find older people are more judgemental, if I was to introduce my dad to my friend who wears alternative clothing my dad would probably say something (to me). I tend to dress in more normal clothing when my dad is visiting because I can’t be doing with his comments. I think because he’s my dad he feels he can say these things to my face, I’m sure he wouldn’t say it to a strangers face.

[BeneathYourWisdom]

When I see older people dressed alternatively, aside from people who are arty/design-y I do tend to wonder about their mental health (though that obviously depends a lot on the extremity of their alternative dress). Its just that very very alternative dressers, when past twenties for example, in my experience have had mh issues

This is my experience too, from working in psychiatry. I’m not saying all alternative dressers suffer MH problems but alternative dressing amongst older people with MH problems is common.

[imamearcat]

If people are really trying to look different in some way, I kind of think it's a bit self absorbed and they probably think they are a bit special.

[Roominmyhouse]

I don’t think you see as many ‘alternative’ folk these days as you used to. Which I see as a shame, teenagers seem to be less inclined to go against the grain and step away from current fashion. I expect like most things social media probably has something to do with it.

[IceSwallowCome]

"Spikes also make me wary. Firstly because what if someone tripped and fell on the spikes and secondly why has the wearer effectively wrapped themself in barbed wire?"

All the better to hit people who keep posting absurd comments like this with. Barbed wire? Concealing a weapon?! 😂

[WeightyMama]

@MarshmallowAra

When I see young people dressed alternatively I think it's a normal developmental phase.

When I see older people dressed alternatively, aside from people who are arty/design-y I do tend to wonder about their mental health (though that obviously depends a lot on the extremity of their alternative dress). Its just that very very alternative dressers, when past twenties for example, in my experience have had mh issues.

This is so sad. That people are still so judgemental is really depressing.

[MedusasBadHairDay]

Used to love wearing spiky jewellery/clothes, especially if you had to go somewhere crowded. People gave you space that way

[WeightyMama]

I don’t understand why some people think that how they dress is acceptable but goth or emo isnt? It makes zero sense to me.

[OwlBeThere]

@BeneathYourWisdom

But my entire point was that what you seem to consider ‘alt’ clothing...isn’t.

Alternative clothing to me is any style of clothing that is unusual enough for people to take a second look or feel uneasy. Not just goth/punk. Maybe I’m wrong and the word has changed it’s meaning?

Clothes that stand out because they’re inappropriate for the weather?
Or clothes with cutesy pictures/sparkles/mismatched primary colours resembling clothes designed for a child?
Multiple facial piercings, ear stretchers, mermaid hair, historical costumes, voluminous dungarees with bare feet?
Are these not ‘alternative’ outfits? Or do only goth styles count as alt?

The female consultant who came to work in revealing clothes more suited to a BDSM dungeon; IMO that was ‘alternative’, and fine out of work, yet grossly inappropriate for a hospital. The dress code for doctors back then was smart/casual (suits, formal dresses, tailored trousers with blouses) so how she got away with corsets and mini skirts I’ll never know. Imagine a crash call goes off and you’re trying to run to the scene in 5” platform boots? 😳

The word in terms of clothing hasn’t changed it’s meaning, it’s always meant goth/punk/steam punk/rockabilly type clothing.
So yes you are wrong, what you are talking about is not alt clothing.
The clothing that you describe as ‘for a child’ might be considered Kawaii which is a Japanese street fashion, or just a look people like.
Wearing a coat when it’s hot is just...wearing a coat.

[OwlBeThere]

Also, I used to run in platform boots. It’s not hard when you’re used to it. I can’t these days because old and disabled but when I was younger I wouldn’t have thought twice. I danced in them all night. Running was easy.

[OwlBeThere]

@WeightyMama

I don’t understand why some people think that how they dress is acceptable but goth or emo isnt? It makes zero sense to me.

Me either. I don’t understand why anyone cares.

[Gullible2021]

Where I’m from the vast majority of people are “alternative” which kind of makes it not alternative if that makes sense? I was a bit emo when I was younger and it wasn’t the “done” thing. I was depressed and didn’t fit in and the way I dressed was to differentiate myself from the “mean girl” crowd.

Now, ironically, most of the time I dress quite Kate Middletony, although on my relaxed days it might be more of a leather jacket, red lips, headwrap look rather than Barbour and wellies (although I do own a Barbour and tan riding boots lol). I’m usually dresses, skirts, heels. In my town it’s all piercings, blue/green/purple hair, side shaves or buzz cuts, loads of tattoos, fetish wear out etc. So I’m the alternative one, having no tattoos, natural coloured hair, just ears pierced and usually Reiss or Hobbs type dresses and heels. I don’t judge anyone to be honest. I like it when people find their own style, whatever that is.

[MistressoftheDarkSide]

Ah the alternative clothing = MH issues trope......

If someone who dresses alternatively and is older, like me, also does have MH issues, it's far more likely to be because of trauma or through an organic cause or whatever. Maybe it would better to unpick their life experiences and address their true issues than make an assumption based on their appearance? Just a thought? If they are happy with the way they look why further undermine them by implying it is indicative of a problem?

We're told so often that correlation does not equal causation, so my plea here is look at the person, not their image, but the person.

People change their image - or find one they are happy with and stick with it.

There are professional texts out there that suggest people with tattoos should be considered high risk for child abuse. In this day and age, that would certainly keep SS busy if it was true. The world changes, cultures change, we learn more and more. I really object to this implication that alternative people are hiding some deep dark and unacceptable facet of themselves from all the nice normies out there..... I mean, no man in a suit and tie with a Rolex could ever be dodgy could they?

[minimadgirl]

Sad to say people judge, may be not adults but certainly younger people.
I was a teenage goth and I can not Express the number of times I was attacked for what I wore. My friend had his jaw broken in 3 places for his clothing style.
It's only because I am older and big enough to stand up for myself that I still wear that style, although it's more gothy, rockabilly , 50s inspired bits now than black lipstick. Unfortunately in my home town I have still been yelled at, still by younger people in general.

[TheLastLotus]

If someone wears clothing that stands out I assume they probably know what effect it will have and judge them accordingly. However this is just the first impression that pops into my mind. I’m not going to treat them differently in any way. Clothes at work are a different matter.
Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

[TheLastLotus]

*was true

[MedusasBadHairDay]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?
That's exactly what I do. My lounging around the house clothes are the same as my going out clothes, aside from not wearing shoes or coats indoors.

[Gullible2021]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

I don’t wear shoes in the house but apart from that I don’t have special “house clothes” . Why would I? I dress for myself and have no interest or concern as to what others might think of how I dress. I wear what I like and stuff everyone else. I’ve never understood people who think of what other people might think when they are choosing what to wear or what to buy to wear.

[LexMitior]

Alternative dresssing is just someone's style isn't it? Seriously, you might as well judge someone for wearing trackie bottoms, ballet pumps or any other of the mainstream choices that are available. You might better judge someone for clothing made in oppressive sweatshops imo.

It would be a very dull world if we all looked the same.

[bluebluezoo]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

Yep. That’s what I do.

My mum, however, will change depending on who might see her and judge. She’ll change out of her “dog walking” trousers to go the shop, then change again if she’s going to a restaurant, then change again into her “house clothes”.

It is all about “what will people think”.

Which is probably why I went down the goth route. Black jeans/maxi skirt and a band tee, and you’re ready to go anywhere. I couldn’t stand the constant focus on outfits and whether “people” would think I was dressed appropriately for the occasion.

I mean, i went to a wedding recently in a maxi-dress and flat shoes. People actually came up to me and commented on how good I looked, that I must be so comfy, and how they wished they’d had the courage to wear flat shoes..

[motherloaded]

If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

If you mean "dressing for the occasion" there's a reason why we don't wear the same clothes for the gym or a black tie event.

Apart from that, why would anyone wear different "at home clothes"?

[adrianmolesmole]

Not at all. I admire them.

[OwlBeThere]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

I do wear the same things at home as going out. Unless it’s my work wear - that I keep for work and change when I get home into my normal clothing. I do change at bedtime because sleeping in my spikes might hurt.