To ask if you personally judge people who dress alternatively?

[getyourfreakon]

As per the thread title.
Yes, Coronation Street has highlighted the issue. I'm what would be referred to as a "goth". I'm also a mother of one.
What are your feelings on the subject?

[TheLastLotus]

@BeneathYourWisdom I would wonder what message people were sending with that outfit - but only because it seems like a whole lot of effort to put all of that together for the school run! Most of my goth friends do not dress in goth 24/7, rather it is a laborious look carefully achieved Piercings I don't care about because it's obviously not something that can be easily taken on and off like underwear.

If it is indeed people's daily wear however I wouldn't really care

[OwlBeThere]

@getyourfreakon totally agree, I can’t do heels because of an ankle break meaning my leg is full of metal, but platforms are easy, no different to wearing normal flats. I mean have you never seen dancers in super high heels?!? You get used to it when it’s your norm to wear a certain kind of shoe.

[getyourfreakon]

I think there's a misconception about platform shoes/boots going on. They're easy to walk in (and run in) because they're pretty much flat inside. As long as you remember to adjust for the extra space while walking up steps/stairs and don't tilt over, it's easy. I can't walk in heels at all. But platforms I could wear all day with no problems.

[getyourfreakon]

@BeneathYourWisdom

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that people that dress "normally" are the weird ones

Define ‘normal’ ?

Take the school run here for instance. Mums mostly wear jeans, jeggings, tunics, joggers, jumpers, hoodies, sportswear, waterproof jackets. Ankle boots or trainers. A few are in full make up, hair styled, tailored clothes with smart coats (presumably on their way to work). Nobody looks out of place despite the variety of styles. Nobody’s outfit screams ‘look at me’.

If a mum turned up in heavy goth make up, long leather coat with spikes, enormous boots she could hardly walk in and lots of facial piercings, she’d stand out. People would think it a weird get up for the school run. Because however you justify it, dressing that way goes against social norms and people would wonder what message her outfit is trying to convey!

Might be different at different school gates of course but I’ve never seen a mum dressed ‘alternatively’ at mine.

I do the school run every morning wearing heavy goth make up and have several facial piercings. I keep my spikes and platforms for other times though, and you bet I can run in them if needs be, never mind hardly walk

[OwlBeThere]

@BeneathYourWisdom you just answered your own question there. you described me there. Other than the facial piercings I don’t have many of those as it’s a pita taking them out for work, so I only have a nose, septum and ear piercings now, not sure why it’s any more weird to wear those clothes on the school run than it is joggers or jeans though. Thankfully the people at my kids school never seemed to care. I ran our pta for 5 years.

[OwlBeThere]

[quote TheLastLotus]**@OwlBeThere* realise I actually meant solely* for yourself not ‘for yourself’. Whoops sorry.
What I was meaning to say that if you dress nicer when you will be out and about - not denying that it’s because you want to, but you’re dressing nicer because other people will see it. So clothes are a form of social messaging. Unless you’re the rare person who really does not care (and even that is a message isn’t it?)

In that sense it’s natural to judge people by their clothes by making cursory observations. But if someone ‘alternatively’ (what does this even mean) dressed came up to me at a party and had a conversation I’d talk to them the same as someone dressed in t-shirts and jeans.[/quote]
I see...I don’t think I’m rare in that what I wear is because it’s what I want to wear.
Alternative fashion is just a descriptor for goth/emo/punk/grunge/rock/rockabilly type clothing. It’s so called as it was an alternative to what was mainstream fashion at the time, for a while there alternative was fashionable but now it’s not again. It’s just a description.

[BeneathYourWisdom]

I'm starting to come to the conclusion that people that dress "normally" are the weird ones

Define ‘normal’ ?

Take the school run here for instance. Mums mostly wear jeans, jeggings, tunics, joggers, jumpers, hoodies, sportswear, waterproof jackets. Ankle boots or trainers. A few are in full make up, hair styled, tailored clothes with smart coats (presumably on their way to work). Nobody looks out of place despite the variety of styles. Nobody’s outfit screams ‘look at me’.

If a mum turned up in heavy goth make up, long leather coat with spikes, enormous boots she could hardly walk in and lots of facial piercings, she’d stand out. People would think it a weird get up for the school run. Because however you justify it, dressing that way goes against social norms and people would wonder what message her outfit is trying to convey!

Might be different at different school gates of course but I’ve never seen a mum dressed ‘alternatively’ at mine.

[MedusasBadHairDay]

[quote TheLastLotus]@motherloaded those are the extreme examples but most people I know (obviously not an exhaustive sample size) wear ‘ordinary’ t-shirt/jeans/dresses around the house and put on makeup + something nicer when they go out. So since the only different thing is that other people can see them outside I conclude that they’re not actually dressing up for themselves. The other excuse is to look good for the photos 😂

Kudos to all of you who dress at the exact same level at all times you have either gone past the point of giving a fuck or are immaculate at all times[/quote]
I'm starting to come to the conclusion that people that dress "normally" are the weird ones..

[Derrymum123]

I would judge you positively. I love seeing people in less conformist attire. Especially love DM wearing people and unusual hair colours. Makes me think they have ownership of their lifestyle.

[WhatATimeToBeAlive]

Absolutely not. I envy people who have their own distinctive style and own it.

[TheLastLotus]

@OwlBeThere realise I actually meant solely for yourself not ‘for yourself’. Whoops sorry.
What I was meaning to say that if you dress nicer when you will be out and about - not denying that it’s because you want to, but you’re dressing nicer because other people will see it. So clothes are a form of social messaging. Unless you’re the rare person who really does not care (and even that is a message isn’t it?)

In that sense it’s natural to judge people by their clothes by making cursory observations. But if someone ‘alternatively’ (what does this even mean) dressed came up to me at a party and had a conversation I’d talk to them the same as someone dressed in t-shirts and jeans.

[BeneathYourWisdom]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

So you dress in a specific way when you go out, because it gets attention? It’s not for you it’s to get a reaction from others?

I wear all sorts in the house. Soft, comfortable, colourful stuff like joggers and old worn jumpers or loungewear. But I always change before going out and when I get back. That’s basic hygiene isn’t it? If I’ve been to a public place, on a train or at work I change out of those clothes into clean ones. Same as my outdoor shoes and jacket stay by the door. And I wash my hands.

Everybody I know has ‘indoor’ and ‘outdoor’ clothes (the latter being more mainstream outfits like jeans, jeggings, dresses, tunics over leggings, sweaters or jumpers or cardigans without holes. Accessories that coordinate with their outdoor shoes/coat).

Maybe because I work in healthcare, the risk of bringing a hospital infection into your home is highlighted. We change on arrival to work then again on leaving, then wear home clothes or loungewear after a shift.

[SunsetBeetch]

I couldn't care less what people wear, mostly. I'd probably be more likely to want to get to know someone who dresses differently in some way - I'd assume they'd be interesting.

[Tealightsandd]

Those with narrow minds.... I've noticed it tends to be people who aren't very bright.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@CupoTeap

Not at all, evil likes to hide in 'normal'

Are you honestly saying that, because I don’t dress in an alternative fashion, I must be concealing evil, @CupoTeap? I wear the clothes I like, that make me feel comfortable - why is that a judgement on my character?

[OwlBeThere]

@TheLastLotus

I don’t think anyone said that they don’t have some clothes that are nicer for different occasions. But I don’t have clothes that’s are ‘Just’ for in my house or ‘just’ for going out, other than the clothes I sleep in. Or slob about in. But it doesn’t follow that because sometimes I make more effort than others that it’s not for me when I dress nicer.

[TheLastLotus]

Also you can dress at the same level for the gym and a black tie event. Have you never heard of designer gym wear?

Different clothes ofc but not everyone looks like sweaty ogres at the gym (at the risk of being dramatic)

[TheLastLotus]

@motherloaded those are the extreme examples but most people I know (obviously not an exhaustive sample size) wear ‘ordinary’ t-shirt/jeans/dresses around the house and put on makeup + something nicer when they go out. So since the only different thing is that other people can see them outside I conclude that they’re not actually dressing up for themselves. The other excuse is to look good for the photos 😂

Kudos to all of you who dress at the exact same level at all times you have either gone past the point of giving a fuck or are immaculate at all times

[AuntMasha]

No, I don’t judge them. It’s the respectable-looking people I wouldn’t trust.

[OwlBeThere]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

I do wear the same things at home as going out. Unless it’s my work wear - that I keep for work and change when I get home into my normal clothing. I do change at bedtime because sleeping in my spikes might hurt.

[adrianmolesmole]

Not at all. I admire them.

[motherloaded]

If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

If you mean "dressing for the occasion" there's a reason why we don't wear the same clothes for the gym or a black tie event.

Apart from that, why would anyone wear different "at home clothes"?

[bluebluezoo]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

Yep. That’s what I do.

My mum, however, will change depending on who might see her and judge. She’ll change out of her “dog walking” trousers to go the shop, then change again if she’s going to a restaurant, then change again into her “house clothes”.

It is all about “what will people think”.

Which is probably why I went down the goth route. Black jeans/maxi skirt and a band tee, and you’re ready to go anywhere. I couldn’t stand the constant focus on outfits and whether “people” would think I was dressed appropriately for the occasion.

I mean, i went to a wedding recently in a maxi-dress and flat shoes. People actually came up to me and commented on how good I looked, that I must be so comfy, and how they wished they’d had the courage to wear flat shoes..

[LexMitior]

Alternative dresssing is just someone's style isn't it? Seriously, you might as well judge someone for wearing trackie bottoms, ballet pumps or any other of the mainstream choices that are available. You might better judge someone for clothing made in oppressive sweatshops imo.

It would be a very dull world if we all looked the same.

[Gullible2021]

Nobody dresses ‘for themselves’, that’s utter bullshit. If it was then they’d wear the exact same thing at home and when going out wouldn’t they?

I don’t wear shoes in the house but apart from that I don’t have special “house clothes” . Why would I? I dress for myself and have no interest or concern as to what others might think of how I dress. I wear what I like and stuff everyone else. I’ve never understood people who think of what other people might think when they are choosing what to wear or what to buy to wear.