What I think is really encouraging is that you're able to pinpoint what about it bothers you - the loss of control, intimacy, your feelings about your body.
That's a good thing: this isn't a random occurrence, you're having a reaction to something (or multiple things).
I imagine a therapist who specialised in sex and body image would be really, really helpful to you if you can access something like that. If you can't, there are quite a lot of resources online to help with both body image and confidence, and your feelings about sex.
That's only tackling how you feel about your body and sex in the abstract, though. Having a partner who does not listen to or hear your message when you're talking about how you feel AND continues to pester you and make you feel guilt ('has no joy'? Fuck off) is not helping - to me it seems you are, at least partly, repulsed by the idea of intimacy with someone who can't respect your feelings about sex at the moment.
That's a seperate issue - but please, please, please don't have sex with him unless you want to.
A good partner will want you to be equally interested, enthusiastic, engaged and getting pleasure from the sex you have together. The fact that he isn't bothered is very concerning and that he sees his sexual gratification as more important than whether or not he has a sexual partner giving enthusiastic consent (and, more to the point, that the person he's supposed to love is really struggling with something).
Sounds like you need a talk with him too. Good luck, OP.
P.S. You can definitely not know you're into women until you're older, but as you've enjoyed sex in the past I'm not sure that's what's going on here!