Does anyone else just hate sex ?

[nc202105]

It makes me feel ill. I hate doing it. Does that change ? I've felt like this for a while, but going through a bad period. Where it's just even worse than normal. I'm married.

@Looooona

These types of threads are so common on mumsnet however in my group of friends, this would be unheard of. Maybe the typical mumsnet poster just doesn’t like sex very much. Also agree with the culture thing, I grew up in Canada where everyone talks about sex, masturbation, sexuality etc. when I moved here I was shocked at the lack of sexuality in this country. Men seem awkward in their approach to sex and British parents encourage their children to use pet names for their genitals (noo noo, pee pee etc.) all very strange to me and explains the weird anti sex culture.

I agree with this too. There an instinctive Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww! response on threads like these.

I agree with you also @TomPinch @Looooona - I tend to get flamed for this on here so respect for putting it better than I have.

I think @Looooona your perspective being a non-Brit is very useful.

As a Brit I do think we have a very default position sometimes that sex must be described in a slapstick, humorous or deliberately icky way. And it's something you often do because, well, relationship, and it's expected at the start. Because of that, it's not surprising that people run out of runway and energy later on in their relationship.

I have found European and US friends much more open about masturbation, about sexual identity, about being a woman who has desires and needs before the incorporation of their relationship and that continue after it.

I get the complete opposite on here when contributing on such threads. It's like a race to show disinterest. You only have to take the hugely popular phrase "do the deed" on here to see where folks are generally at with this subject.

How are you feeling OP?

While it is possible you are asexual or a lesbian, I think it is far more likely you have gone off sex temporarily because you've had a baby and your husband is behaving in a totally inappropriate way.

I think it is very common for people to go off sex for periods of time fir a variety of reasons.

I also think sex is massively overrated.

The reason this opinion may be found on Mumsnet is not because if any huge mystery! My own thoughts are that the reason you will find that opinion here is because the site is anonymous and mostly frequented by women, especially women who have had children.

So much as it's great for people who think sex is brilliant (to think that) it doesn't mean other opinions are not valid. Nor that they are not truthful.

I've been there OP and it's grim. It wasn't that I was saying that I didn't want sex ever again, it was just that I didn't want it more than once a week, or for it to go on for hours when I had 4 children under 6 who weren't great sleepers.
It got to the point where I couldn't even give him a hug without him groping me, or making me feel like I was leading him on which no doubt made him feel unloved looking back as I backed off completely but I honestly felt like a piece of meat.

He's now an ex husband, and a couple of years ago apologised for behaving the way that he did. He basically lost everything because he thought sex was the most important thing in a marriage and that his needs trumped everyone else's - I needed sleep to be a good mum to our children and I don't regret telling him that for one moment, a less selfish person would have understood.

@nc202105 go to the GP and see if there’s a medical issue.

Have you felt like this since you feel.bad about your body or before this.? .. if its about your body confodence i guess that is dofferent to disliking sex ? Put it this way, if you fely better in youtself.. how do you feel sex would be then ? Trying to get the source of the issue. ... for me my husband has done somwthing that has offended me sexually and I absolutely know that it has affected me . We are all so different xx