To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

[namechangedasouting]

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

I don’t think you can ban her from having hot drinks, a travel mug seems an ideal solution, but the biggest problem, she works part time and is drinking 10 cups of coffee per shift.

10 cups of coffee? I thought I drank a lot of caffeine. She must be buzzing. I'd be rattling
If I had that much.

My thoughts are how many trips to the toilet will that generate, probably at least 5 .... I couldn't drink that even if I tried

As a nanny you should know not to leave hot drinks in child’s reach. Especially a toddler. That should be basic nanny knowledge.

I've no idea how she has time for 10 cups in a shift- and she must pee for Britain too, I know I would if I drank that much tea or coffee in a day, so that's potentially a lot of toilet trips too when she's supposed to be watching the children.

I think you'd be unreasonable to say no hot drinks but reasonable to say they have to be in a travel cup or one of those ones that you physically can't knock over. I'd have serious doubts about how good she is as a nanny though, when she doesn't take care to put hot drinks out of their reach.

Hi OP not sure which part of the country you are in but part time nannies around my neck of the woods are like gold dust. I have a part time nanny but my children are older than yours, so the hot drink thing wouldn't be an issue.

The best bit of advice I got from my friend who has had a lot of experience with hiring and retaining good nannies - if they are 80% of what you are looking for employ them but make sure you have a good dialogue so that you can express any concerns either of you may have.

Have an open conversation with her about it, your concerns are valid, it's still early days for both of you so the perfect timing to raise it.

I wouldn't get rid of her straight away as I know how sometimes how hard it is to get part time nannies

Between the drinking and toilet trips because of said consumption when does she actually look after them?

yabu to ask her not to have hot drinks at all, yanbu to ask her to ensure they are out of your dcs reach.
so I would just ask her to ensure hot drinks are out of reach but definitely wouldnt expect her to go all day without a hot drink.
However its sounds like there maybe other issues with much she interacts with dc, i would expect a nanny (not that ive had one!) to play with dc and be fully engaged with them

I’d be concerned that she lacks any common sense.
No one in their right mind would leave a boiling hot drink in reach of a baby or toddler.

If she can't see that this is a potential danger, she isn't a very good nanny is she

I worked in a Nursery and this was a No No big time! Kitchen locked and all hot drinks were taken in Staff room. She sounds very unprofessional to me .Seriously get rid now! A friends son had hot coffee spilt and it was truly horrible .She is just taking the piss here!

I’d be concerned about the amount of time she’s spending sitting, and where she is leaving hot drinks. I work in a school and we have to have lidded mugs on our hot drinks and they have to be out of reach of the children. Maybe go down this route? I don’t really drink cold drinks and would dehydrate without tea and coffee throughout the day!

As a nurse, midwife and babysitting grandma I d be questioning how she manages to have 10 cups per day!!! When I’m babysitting from 8 am until 6 pm I m lucky if I have enough time/opportunity to have any more than two or three 😂. Seriously though I d be questioning any nanny leaving hot drinks around small children

1. Not ok to leave hot drinks where children can reach them.
2. 10 sounds like a lot.
3. it is not reasonable to say no hot drinks but that she needs to be vigilant, and her job is to engage with your child, not have tea breaks.

My thoughts are if she does this in front of you what would she do when you wernt there.🤔

She should be fully trained and know this. I'd she isn't aware, it's not a good sign. Just give her a travel mug and tell her clearly it's a safety risk. You'll work out from her reaction whether you want to keep her.

10 cups a day!!! I don't even manage that with a desk based job. It sounds like she is sitting around all day having nice cups of tea and is not actually doing anything with your dc. I would be getting rid - if she is this bad on week 3 I dread to think what she will be like by week 30! However, as others have said if you are around all the time that will be making life very difficult for her so, even if you are not working when she is then you may need to make yourself scarce when she is (but first work out if she is going to work or if she is going to sit around like a 15 year old babysitter).

I think based on how it’s gone so far you need to look for someone new. If you really wanted to you could have a sit down with her and he really clear you’re not happy with her performance and that the hot drinks are an absolute no but if you’re not happy now, realistically it won’t get better.

Re settling in, I say this as a parent with a nanny & as a former nanny/babysitter, you need to just leave and be 100% unavailable during nanny time. If you don’t trust the person to look after your kiddo they are not the right person and you are making things bad for your child by being hesitant to leave. I would occasionally have new children I looked after cry when the parents left, the smart ones said bye bye, love you and shut the door. The kids, even very small ones would stop crying after a minute or two, toddlers are very easily distractable. When we settled our daughter in with her nanny, after an hour or so of playing altogether I made sure to be out for the whole of the session.

If you’re unable to let go while you’re in the home, I would strongly suggest you consider a nursery setting rather than in home care, you’ll drive your nanny mad if you’re popping in and out and making your child clingy.

She doesn’t seem very suitable to work with such young children or that she will fit in well with your family. Forget the travel mug, that’s not going to give her any safety sense for other risks plus she doesn’t seem very committed beyond making a good first impression.

She sounds like an idiot - surely even people who have never met a toddler before could work out not to leave hot drinks within their reach. If she manages to drink 10 coffees within a working day she must mainly drink and pee. Even if she stops with the hot drinks or buys a thermos I'd be concerned about her common sense and ability to keep the kids from harm. If it doesn't occur to her to keep hot drinks out of reach will she realise you need to hold a kid near a busy road? Will she be careful with choke hazards?

Agree, she’s not up to the job. Keeping hot drinks away from toddlers is basic, if she can’t take that basic precaution then what other risks is she going to take?

Also 10 cups of tea/coffee is ridiculous

I'd be looking for a new nanny, if she does this while you are there, what will she do when you are not there?
🤦...I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my work.

Paediatric nurse (burns unit experienced) - this is a huge risk factor. Freshly boiled liquids cause horrendous skin injuries and often to the face / chest when young children reach up and pull them down from worktops. Personally I’d have packed her bags and driven her to a train station day 1 ! I have zero tolerance for inefficiency with safety matters whilst caring for children.
Her excessive drinking may be habitual but would concern me also- especially if all drinks caffeinated !
If the nanny is not prioritising your children’s safety and care needs whilst you’re there what will go on when you are not?

Get rid and re hire !!

On the phone while looking after your children? Leaving hot drinks for a toddler to knock over.
Sack her and find someone who knows how to behave around children.
Always go with your gut! You are right and to feel this in week 3 is a major red flag.
Get rid. It doesn't matter that her refs were exemplary. She doesn't meet your expectations.
And no notice required by the way.