To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

[namechangedasouting]

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

[Teabaghag]

How the fuck does she have time? I don't have time for 3 coffees a day!

[NannyR]

I would be concerned, that if she doesn't see that leaving a hot drink in reach of a child is dangerous, what other risks is she going to take?
I take a travel mug to work or use an ordinary mug but keep it on a high shelf, I don't have time to drink ten cups a day though and I look after slightly older kids. I have two or three coffees a day and it's rarely got by the time I get to drink it. Ten coffee breaks a day is ridiculous.

[AlwaysLatte]

I used to keep my hot drinks up high away out of reach when my two were little. A trained nanny should know better!

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

So a tea break at least once a hour? Haahaaa. That's a total pisstake.

[PembrokeshireDreaming]

You need a nanny you can trust. Start looking for a new one.

[Snowwhite83]

Hi OP,
I work in a burns unit. Hot scalds from tea or pans are the most common causes of serious burns in children. I would not have her look after my kids for a moment.You are not overreacting get rid of her asap.

[NoSquirrels]

If you don’t trust her, please look for someone else. Don’t second guess yourself on that score.

If you are WFH you need to - ironically - trust your caregiver more than if you WOH. Because any crying or screaming temper tantrums will be in earshot and you’ll worry.

So accept this as a false start and look for someone else.

You could try 1 very honest conversation about safety and her stepping up more to take over but I honestly think you just might not have the right fit.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@Snowwhite83

Hi OP,
I work in a burns unit. Hot scalds from tea or pans are the most common causes of serious burns in children. I would not have her look after my kids for a moment.You are not overreacting get rid of her asap.

I agree. And people think it's 'just' burned skin, but you can loose you sight, have lifelong disfigument or die from them. She'd have been gone the first time she pulled that stunt, not to mention boiling the fucking kettle every hour and putting feet up drinking bloody tea.

[PinkiOcelot]

I was going to say YABU to tell her no hot drinks. However, I think that’s only part of the problem. Leaving them within reach is a massive safety hazard and the number of cups per day where she sits to drink them, ignoring your child that you are paying her to look after is another big problem.
If she’s happy to do that when you’re there, what would she do when you’re not?
I think I’d be looking for someone else tbh.

[Maggiesfarm]

@UrsulaTee

Honestly, I would be looking for a new nanny. Not leaving hot drinks around young children is pretty basic and something anyone with half a brain should know

Too right.

[ILoveFlumps]

One of my twins grabbed a hot cup of tea when she was one (her nan was looking after her).
She spent days in hospital and had severe burns to her chest.
She's 17 now and has no lasting effects, but it took months to heal properly.
It was a freak accident and her nan was inconsolable, but a nanny should absolutely know better.

[JaffaRaf]

I voted YABU because saying no hot drinks in 10.5 hours is unreasonable, but stating they must be in a travel mug is fine, and only at break/nap times. But if she’s genuinely leaving hot drinks in reach of the kids and not realising that it’s a serious risk id just get rid, it’s a very basic risk so if she’s missing that then what else will she miss when they are out an about, or cooking, or even eating grapes for example (I.e if hot drinks arnt a risk, are uncut grapes not a risk?)

[1Morewineplease]

At school we must use travel cups for hot drinks. Just buy her one and ask her to use it around your children.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

Tons of jobs out there where you don't have a god-given right to fucking hot drinks! However do they manage?

[Reinventinganna]

If she’s like this with you around I would hate to think what she will be like when you are not.

[LolaSmiles]

I can't believe half the people who have voted think YABU!!!
I think it's because there's several issues in the post and the OP's original question.

I voted YABU because the OP asked:
How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby?

I do think it is unreasonable to ban someone from having hot drinks for a day.
I also think it's reasonable for the OP to raise concerns about the nanny's practice so far, eg reminding her to keep hot drinks in travel mugs and to clarify expectations.

[FurrySlipperBoots]

I'm also wondering what she does with the children when she needs the loo 10 times a day to!!

[AnneFuckingKirrin]

Yanbu.
I’ve worked in pre school environments (many moons ago) there was no way that we would have hot drinks around the children, I get this is different because it is difficult for a nanny to have a break in a different room. They can however have a travel cup that they pop on a high surface in between sips.
I don’t ever remember having any job where I had the time to drink 10 hot drinks.

[osbertthesyrianhamster]

@1Morewineplease

At school we must use travel cups for hot drinks. Just buy her one and ask her to use it around your children.

😂😂😂

Employee on probation with a hands-on job looking after a baby and toddler, poor ickle thing, not only pay her but also buy her a travel mug so she can have a tea break every hour on shift.

Right!

[EbbandTheWanderingHearts]

YANBU! 10 cups a shift is taking the piss. Talking of piss, how the hell is she not constantly in the toilet?! Leaving hot drinks within reach of a toddler is a huge no, no and an 'experienced' nanny should know better. I'd get rid. She doesn't sound great. I get that looking after lockdown babies is tough but it shouldn't take long to get them to settle if she actually bothers to engage with them!

[Hankunamatata]

I think you need to go out and leave her to it for a few days and see how it goes. Probably nearly impossible for her to bond with he kids while they are attached to you.

And I would suggest travel mug for her drinks.

[CheshireSplat]

In addition to the scalding risk, I'm thinking 10 cups when you are in the house. I'd worry she'd do even less work when you are back at work outside the house as there's no chance she'd get caught.

[PuppyPupPups]

Do not underestimate the damage a cup of boiling hot tea can do. Not ever.

DH is a fully grown man and had his penis and thighs very severely scalded by a mug of tea falling over on the work surface just after he made it. Most of it was still on the counter, very little actually came in contact with him but it was enough to take all the skin off his dick and put him in hospital.

I can only imagine it going over a child instead. Seriously makes me shudder.

I would not employ someone who does not understand the danger or, worse still, knows and puts their own need for a hot drink in front of a child's safety.

[sadpapercourtesan]

not to mention boiling the fucking kettle every hour and putting feet up drinking bloody tea

Are you actually like this in real life? What a joy you must be at parties.

There aren't actually many jobs where you can't get a cup of tea/coffee during the day. I would think a travel cup is the ideal solution to the potential scalding issue - that is what teachers and nursery staff use (at least in all the schools and settings I've worked in).

If you're not happy with her care of the children though, I would say that's a bit more pressing than how many times she boils the kettle.