To ask the nanny not to have hot drinks whilst looking after the children?

[namechangedasouting]

We have a new part time nanny, currently settling in with out just 2 year old and 5 month old. I'm not back to the office for a couple of months but am WFH part time (hopefully, I will soon be able to be WFH on the nanny days, but currently I'm around to help most of the time whilst she's here).

We're on week 3 now, and there a few things which are making me a bit uncomfortable. She is drinking a lot of tea/coffee (at least 10 cups a day) which in itself is fine, but she leaves them accessible to my toddler. They are piping hot (freshly boiled water), not left to cool before being brought into reach. More than once I've had to pull DS away from the table they are at and ask her to move the mug. She is finding time to sit with the drinks instead of making an effort to interact with DS. He is pretty unsettled (new nanny but also other stuff happening as well) so is understandably a bit clingy, but I do feel that if she got down on the floor and started playing he would join her.

How should I approach this? Would IBU to ask her not to have hot drinks at all whilst she is around the toddler and baby? I'm not a tea/coffee drinker so may be underestimating how big an ask this is. I feel like I need to address the safety issue urgently, but also the decision to sit with feet up and a hot drink rather than interacting with the kids (again, if it were a couple of times a day it would be different, but it's at least once an hour).

[TreadLightly3]

Whatever else you feel might be your fault (none of which I think is) the bottom line is she is creating a burns risk. And taking the piss massively with breaks. I doubt you would be able to live with yourself if your child/ren got burned by one of her hot drinks so for that reason alone you should get rid. Do not doubt yourself. There’s no point having someone to look after your children that you don’t trust - it will cause you so much stress!! You will find someone else with better chemistry with you, don’t worry. Good luck

[dragonsmoke]

I would replace her. She sounds annoying.
... anyone who needs that many bloody coffee and tea 'breaks' is not busy enough on the job. V dangerous also as you say.

[TriciaA1991]

We had nannies. If you are not happy at this stage, you won't be happy later. Find someone else now. Has she come with great references because they want rid of her ?? Give her notice and find someone better. Precious children need great care. Good luck x

[CandyLeBonBon]

[quote JackANackAnoreeee]@CandyLeBonBon Most people who have the luxury to afford it arrange a settling in period with a new nanny. It might feel a little awkward for the new nanny but will help the child with the transition which is the most important thing. Anyone who is vaguely competent with children and especially someone who is being paid to be there will make an attempt to engage the child and at the very least keep hot drinks out of the way.[/quote]
A settling in period does not generally involve parents or grandparents hovering unhelpfully.

In every situation I've seen, once the childcare setting has been chosen, and children are aware and introductions have been made , settling in periods are where the child is left for a short period of time, with the new caregiver, because the presence of parents at a settling in session can be difficult for the child.

Inviting grandma is not part of that process either as it just confuses the child and makes the process more difficult. Ive put three kids through childcare, worked as a childminder, in nurseries and schools and briefly had a nanny myself, so I'm fairly clear on what a good settling in process looks like.

[JackANackAnoreeee]

@CandyLeBonBon Most people who have the luxury to afford it arrange a settling in period with a new nanny. It might feel a little awkward for the new nanny but will help the child with the transition which is the most important thing. Anyone who is vaguely competent with children and especially someone who is being paid to be there will make an attempt to engage the child and at the very least keep hot drinks out of the way.

[CandyLeBonBon]

@dramaticpenguin

I'm a childminder and I maybe make 2 cos of tea in a working day, purely because there's never time to drink one! if I do have one, it's on the breakfast bar that divide playroom from kitchen so it out of reach, is so basic, that I had to think about it - I initially thought, "Oh come on, if course you can have a cup of tea whilst working," but not if you're stupid about it!

But that's because you are able to do your job unencumbered by mum and grandma 'helping'. Left alone to do the job you're paid to do rather than having parents and relatives helicoptering.

[SaltAndVinegarSandwiches]

Still waiting for OP to explain how she knows the nanny is actually making '10 cups a day

Why does this matter? OP was there with the nanny and noticed she was drinking a lot of tea/coffee. If she was there all day and OP noticed she had a cup more than every hour that makes about 10. It's not a police operation!

[mummysharkk]

After all this advice op what have you decided to do?

[dramaticpenguin]

I'm a childminder and I maybe make 2 cos of tea in a working day, purely because there's never time to drink one! if I do have one, it's on the breakfast bar that divide playroom from kitchen so it out of reach, is so basic, that I had to think about it - I initially thought, "Oh come on, if course you can have a cup of tea whilst working," but not if you're stupid about it!

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

@poppycat10

Blimey so much fuss about the drinks. People can drink what they like - that is NOT the issue here. Stay on top of the actual issue - which is safety.

Because if the OP is exaggerating other facts like how many cups of tea drunk, it makes me wonder if the toddler was really so close to knocking over a hot drink or if it was saved just in the nick of time.

I'm not saying I believe OP is exaggerating, just that OP has been asked to clarify some things that she hasn't yet done.

[MrsPinkCock]

(Sorry if you already know that, I’m just surprised the thread is still live)

[MrsPinkCock]

www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/child/child-care/mum-considers-firing-her-nanny-over-hot-drinks/news-story/513d06305a900b24499095dede408a6d?utm_campaign=EditorialSB&utm_source=Kidspot&utm_medium=Facebook&utm_content=SocialBakers&fbclid=IwAR0HkN6FUGyf3clKDrZ-F_hMLuRJg4Rsf8RKWg6ai_UcCyLtt1mQv5GEHqw

The press have picked this up, OP. Maybe ask for a removal!

[Tallulah1972]

Yeah...you need a new nanny. She’s obviously not filling you with confidence. You need someone who will interact with your children otherwise you might as well just sit them in front of the tv.

[poppycat10]

Blimey so much fuss about the drinks. People can drink what they like - that is NOT the issue here. Stay on top of the actual issue - which is safety.

[Bekinder]

Would you trust her not to leave the kids in the bath whilst she 'just nipped' to get something.? Or to actually fasten them in their highchair.?
As she clearly thinks its ok to leave hot drinks within reach of the children it is highly unlikely she will practice safe food management...cutting up grapes and all of the other choking hazards on the list of safe child care.
Get rid..

[MiaMarshmallows]

I know from a family member who nannies that having the parents in the house is really difficult for so many reasons.

1. The child always knows they are there and that they can 'play off' the nanny and parent.
2. The nanny is unsure if she can be as authoritive as she needs to be as worried about the parents potentially not agreeing.
3. It's awkward to be 'on show' when the parents are watching.

That aside, she doesn't sound very responsible and it's clear you do not trust her. I don't know what the drinks thing is all about unless she feels as someone said, redundant if you are there and feels she has to do something f even if it is just making a hot drink ?

[Holly60]

I would choose someone else. You don’t sound like you’ve gelled particularly well, and tbh she sounds like a nightmare. I wonder if she sensed you are inexperienced and thought this would be an easy gig...

[Bekinder]

Referencies aren't always 100% reliable. Judge her on her performance with your children.
Lot's of employers' give a good reference to a bad employee just to get rid, wrong but true.
If she is making you anxious get rid before something terrible happens.
As she is showing such a lack of foresight and neglect infront of you would you be ok with her taking them out.?
She sounds to be a liability and danger to your children.
She might be upset to be let go but not as upset as you would be were anything to happen to your children.
Her feelings aren't your responsibility (as such) your childrens' welfare and safety is and if you have to point things out to her then again, get rid...

[namechangemarch21]

@MolyHolyGuacamole

Still waiting for OP to explain how she knows the nanny is actually making '10 cups a day'

To be fair, we have a Nespresso style thing: she may know exactly how many because of how many pods are used. Or nanny could be taking a fresh cup each time, and putting them in the dishwasher. Or she could have asked - I often ask my husband (usually in horror) how many cups he's had in a day. It can come up in conversation when someone is a heavy caffeine drinker.

[Madamum18]

She is NOT being a Nanny!

[amccabe15]

Extra stress - get rid

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

Still waiting for OP to explain how she knows the nanny is actually making '10 cups a day'

[Jossse]

She doesn't sound right for your family. Find another. No point in stressing yourself out trying to over evaluate each time. Good luck 🤞

[Scoobydoobydo]

10 cups of tea?
How many wee breaks?
Bin her

[IsThePopeCatholic]

Is she a proper nanny or a childminder?