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Original poster

Losing friends due to who I'm marrying

551 replies

coppafeel · 02/05/2021 15:09

I'm due to marry someone, I hate to use the word 'famous' so I will say someone 'well known' - a D list celeb if you may. We are due to get married in December. Been with him for 2 years and throughout those 2 years I have been lost really good or so I thought, friends.

He is very controversial figure and so many of my friends have opinions about his views and can't even tolerate him for me. I'm at a loss of what to do, my friends were my life and were there for me through all the bad times but they have turned on me since meeting my partner. I can't just not be with the man I love because of their views but I don't understand why they cannot separate his views from me.

What can I do here?

OP posts:
RickiTarr · 04/05/2021 07:19

@DurhamDurham

Are you Lawrence Fox's fiancée? He had some weird views as far as I can tell and keeps piping up to try to stay relevant and in the public eye.
That seems to be the lead guess but OP hasn’t been back. I think she’s having us all on.
PhilCornwall1 · 04/05/2021 07:21

@coppafeel

I wouldn't say his views are abhorrent, but they are strong political views on the complete opposite end of the political spectrum than what my friends are. I'm not very politically minded so his views go over my head and if they were vile they would not. They just have different views but somehow I am being vilified for them. Also no he doesn't say them to be controversial they are just his opinions, however, has received a lot of backlash for them.
I thought Dominic Cummings was already married?
a8mint · 04/05/2021 12:10

I thought Farage, but i would think he is a mainline, rather tha a D lister.
Stuff your friends though, you do you.

SleepingStandingUp · 04/05/2021 12:17

I think your friends are probably assuming you agree with his "I'm not racist but BL don't M" views and whatever toxic nonsense he's spouting.

Saying "oh I'm not political so it goes over my head" is a cop out. This is the man you intend to spend the rest of your life with and possibily have kids with. You have to stop twirling your metaphorical ponytail and giggling at all the silly things your silly hubby-to-be says and actually listen.

If you decide he's the man from you you'll have to make new friends. O mean he sounds GREAT so I can't see why that would be hard....

Puntastic · 04/05/2021 12:32

That seems to be the lead guess but OP hasn’t been back. I think she’s having us all on.

Possibly, but she was never going to actually confirm his identity even if pp did guess correctly. It would end up in the papers. Do you think a relationship would survive that? Admittedly, would solve the problem, but probably not in a way that's palatable to OP!

EdwinPootsLovesArchaeology · 04/05/2021 12:40

I dont think Lolly Fox would thank his fiancée for calling him a 'D lister'.

He's definitely A list in his own head.

FindBetty · 04/05/2021 12:59

I think this is less likely to be the fiancee and more likely to be a friend of the fiance 'intelligence gathering'..

MintyMabel · 04/05/2021 16:17

I hate to use the word 'famous'

You don't really, otherwise you would have omitted any reference from the post as it is irrelevant.

bonfireheart · 04/05/2021 16:23

Think OP wanted us all to be impressed she's marrying a D list celeb (unlike her friends) and throw our morals out of the window.

MargosKaftan · 04/05/2021 19:40

I think him being famous /one of those rent-a-mouth people is relevant, because he doesn't have to have discussed these topics with the OPs friends for them to be very aware of his views. If he's been on tv/ quoted in the press making racist comments, then her friends will know about them, even if they haven't discussed the topics with him directly.

Newnamefor2021 · 04/05/2021 19:53

Sounds like good on your friends. I'd distance myself personally too.

AbstractHeart · 04/05/2021 19:58

So you don't care about these issues? To some people that's just as bad as actively taking the opposing view. Pick a side!

viques · 04/05/2021 20:12

Forget about your mystery man for a moment, and concentrate on your friends.

I am assuming you have had these friends for longer than you have known mystery man.

So what do you like about the friends, why do you feel comfortable in their company, why do you trust them with your confidences, why are you happy to meet them, chat with them, spend time with them. What are the things that you share, a love of food, travelling, cinema, dancing, music? Most people have a lot in common with their friends, they don’t necessarily agree on everything, but can usually cope with minor disagreements or inconsistencies in opinion and overlook those in the interest of friendship.

But, your friends are finding your choice of partner overcomes their love for you and the enjoyment they have in your company. You need to wonder a bit why people who you have so much in common with are unable to overlook your fiancé’s opinions even though they care about you and are willing to forgo the friendship rather than spend time in his company.

Are you letting his z list celebrity blind you to reality?

TatianaBis · 04/05/2021 20:13

Is this still going?

I'm thinking influencer or Geordie Shore.

SaltAndVinegarSandwiches · 04/05/2021 20:17

It depends what the views were. If a friend was marrying someone who felt differently to me about Brexit and voted differently I'd just avoid the subject however if their views were what I considered to be very unkind (racist/sexist/homophobic/anti poor people) I'd consider my friend to be complicit and it would impact by ability to be friends with him/her.

FHSofh2 · 04/05/2021 20:31

I also assumed Laurence Fox..... a few of my very good friends are married to let's just say not always enlightened men. I do struggle with that as I am a left and do disagree with a lot of what they say. However, these are private individuals and I just prefer to meet my friends one to one and have little to do with their partners.

The problem with D celebs like Laurence Fox is that he has made his personal bigotry a public crusade and just comes across as a bit mental, to be honest. And I think that I would find it really really hard to remain a good friend with anyone marrying them. By taking such a public stance - they are feeding public histeria and this is not just a personal but a societal issue so I would have to distance myself.

RuggerHug · 05/05/2021 00:39

viuques has wonderfully phrased what I would have messed up. If this is an honest post, please read their response

bonfireheart · 05/05/2021 07:31

LF being awful to an NHS doctor ... I hope if anyone ever does want to marry him they don't let politics go over their head.

Thissideof40 · 08/05/2021 22:11

I thought Laurence Fox too.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 08/05/2021 22:33

@CorianderBee

And disagreeing that black peoples lives matter is distinctly very racist. No matter how he phrased it that means he thinks black peoples lives have less worth than other peoples. Disgusting.
There’s a difference between the movement of BLM and and actual people. If Laurence Fox’s friends are all black public school, loaded, working in theatre types why would he support a anti establishment black protest group?
lmao88 · 08/05/2021 22:45

So OP you're marrying him for his money obviously, his views of "over your head", and you've thrown your friends under the bus... class... let's see how long this will last Hmm

littlefireseverywhere · 08/05/2021 22:45

Just putting this out there, you keep saying he’s not racist. It’s 2021, we should be past people being racist, is he?

Janus · 08/05/2021 23:02

Before this man was on the scene would you say your friends were a good judge of character? Have they picked you up from other relationship breakdowns and said something like ‘I never liked him anyway’ and then pointed out why?
I am left, went to a BLM protest and took my teenage daughters, I have plenty of friends who are to the right. If one of them came out with BLM is a total over reaction or all lives matter crap I would really struggle to continue that friendship. You can be to the right and not be a total twat. If he (she?) is coming out with not approving with BLM protests it would be a huge red flag for me. I would suggest picking up one of your friendships and asking what they don’t like about your fiancé.
(If it is LFox I’d run for the hills though, as bloody fast as you can, that man is vile and you shouldn’t need your friends to tell you this.)

Solange66 · 09/05/2021 08:46

Period.

GulliBelle · 09/05/2021 11:21

I've just seen the London Mayoral election results.

Lozzer Fox? More like Loser Fox.

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