Losing friends due to who I'm marrying

[coppafeel]

I'm due to marry someone, I hate to use the word 'famous' so I will say someone 'well known' - a D list celeb if you may. We are due to get married in December. Been with him for 2 years and throughout those 2 years I have been lost really good or so I thought, friends.

He is very controversial figure and so many of my friends have opinions about his views and can't even tolerate him for me. I'm at a loss of what to do, my friends were my life and were there for me through all the bad times but they have turned on me since meeting my partner. I can't just not be with the man I love because of their views but I don't understand why they cannot separate his views from me.

What can I do here?

This thread is going to get deleted, isn't it?

HidingFromTheChildren
What's more likely:
A) OP's friends are choosing to distance themselves from a man who holds 'controversial' views around race, and based on this thread sounds like he's probably a bit racist?
B) OP's friends are bad friends who get a bit funny about marriage and big life events?

I have no liking for LF, but after a few gins some reflection, I would be horrified if my fiance came onto a major social media site and wittered about her engagement doubts. If the OP was for real, thats pretty shit of her.

Also, vote Count Binhead on Thursday!!

@HidingFromTheChildren

They're weak friendships if they'll drop you over this. I liken it to people who drop a best friend when they have a child.

Some people just get funny about marriage itself or big life changes.

Unless that child is an asshole, I can't see how this is comparable

@ghostyslovesheets

I don't know any z list vocally very left wing politically active controversial ones though

Owen Jones?

@RickiTarr I agree it's not terribly realistic but at least represent it accurately. Defund the police does not simply mean abolish the police.

I happen to agree that trauma is one of the most important drivers of crime but they want to massively fund social programs that aim to reduce the sources of trauma (eg abuse, addiction, homelessness) so not sure why you think their vision is so inappropriate.

Can't believe anyone is taking this seriously. It is a load of old tosh.

@Reinventinganna

You must be a pretty rubbish friend tbh. You are dating someone with poor morals and have no interest in politics. I wouldn’t be hanging around either. You’ve shown your true self by the company that you keep.

Whether you are ‘politically minded’ or not, to marry someone with extreme views makes you as bad as him.

Are you happy to have little racist children running around?

How do you get to become an adult with no understanding or interest in politics? Do you have no opinion on anything?

this has to be the most pathetic reply ever , iv got friends that have no opinion or interest in politics , it doesnt mean they have no opinions on anything else , as for the little racist children remark its just sad and low like you must be

@ViciousJackdaw

Mrs Yaxley-Lennon?

Ditto. The first name that came to mind.

[quote dreamingbohemian]@RickiTarr I agree it's not terribly realistic but at least represent it accurately. Defund the police does not simply mean abolish the police.

I happen to agree that trauma is one of the most important drivers of crime but they want to massively fund social programs that aim to reduce the sources of trauma (eg abuse, addiction, homelessness) so not sure why you think their vision is so inappropriate.[/quote]
What’s got into you today?

I posted a quite sensible, middle-way, broadsheet, description of “defunding the police” as a policy, precisely because I CBA to describe the whole thing myself.

I find it frightening. You clearly don’t.

That doesn’t mean I’m misrepresenting it, or failing to understand it or any of the other things you’ve accused me of.

We simply disagree.

I’d be completely in favour of really radical reform of the police. I think they need it. I’m also all in favour of increased spending on social services, housing and welfare.

However, partially or wholly removing police funding is something I cannot get behind. It would cost even more lives than police brutality does. True “frying pan into fire” stuff.

Owen Jones is gay though and Tommy Robinson (aka Mr Yaxley Lennon) already married.

*Tommy Robinson (aka Mr Yaxley Lennon) already married.

He doesn’t worry too much about obeying the law, though.

Anyway, back to your question, OP. Sadly if your fiance is a neo Nazi or similar, then you must expect all decent people to stay away. When you say he "just didn't agree" with BLM we all know what you really mean. If you want to marry a far right gob on a stick then go for it. But your friends will drop you.
You choose.

Strong political views about race... so racist then?

Owen Jones is gay though

Do you know the op isn't? (Not that I believe it, but just in case...)

@BrumBoo

Sorry, not sure what being a Zeleb has to do with this. If your partner has harmful views then of course people aren't going to like him.

Is it Lawrence Fox? Or some similar 'I'll say anything for attention' type?

My first thought 😂

@Crystal90567

Before me too men approached women in bars, clubs and clutch pearls workplaces. It was socially acceptable and mostly men who made the first move. You'd be very deluded not to realise that this has been banned. Now socially unacceptable and for one thing puts jobs are at risk. Everyone knows this. Who does this benefit. Directly. The multi million pound dating industry.

Are you off your tits?

omg @Crystal90567 that's hilarious. Are you seriously suggesting that because men now have to approach women politely, without being creepy or overly secure immediately, in fact just have to meet the VERY low bar of not actually sexually assaulting us...this is a sinister sociocultural plot by Big Date???

*overly sexual

How exactly has 'me too' stopped men from respectfully and appropriately approaching women?

I'm not sure the fact he is a 'well known' person makes any difference.

It was in relation to the BLM movement, he had differing opinions on that situation but he is not racist, he just didn't agree with it.

He probably didn't agree with it because the actual movement didn't effect him being white.
He probably is racist.

I have read some batshit stuff in my time.

They include

• a group of people own a space laser that starts forest fires
• the government is purposely adding chemicals to water, to turn frogs gay
• the moon is a hologram.

But claiming that men are now banned from approaching women in bars, clubs and workplaces is by far the craziest shit I've ever read.

@Crystal90567 Thank you for that! I needed a good laugh. I am hoping it was written tongue-in-cheek because those type of comments usually go over my head.

My ex was / is a racist and it’s one of the things that hastened the end of the relationship.

People who feel the need to say they aren’t racist always are in fact racist. In fact, one of the only ways to be anti racist is to accept that anyone’s capable of it and to commit to challenging your own views daily. I also can’t stand white people who say they’ve experienced racism. 🤮