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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nothing terrible will happen if fat me wears swimming attire on holiday?

258 replies

BlowDryRat · 02/05/2021 11:30

Assuming we're ever allowed on holiday...

I used to be a size 10 but this has crept up to a size 14-16. I do a lot of exercise but eat too much. None of my clothes fit and I feel quite self conscious.

We're off to the beach over the half term and summer holidays and I've been stressing over what sort of cover-up to wear. It then occurred to me to wonder what would actually be so terrible if I just wore a normal swimming costume or tankini (I've never been a bikini person). Will the fish jump out of the sea in fright? Will ladies faint? Will small children run away in terror? Will everyone turn and laugh at my wobbly bits? Probably not.

AIBU in thinking it will be fine, or is there some terrible consequence I haven't thought of yet?

OP posts:
LemonRoses · 03/05/2021 18:10

I think you'll be far from the biggest on the beach and even seen as nicely curvaceous (depending where you carry the weight). Nobody is interested in what others are wearing or what they look like - except perhaps the sleazy men staring at younger women in minimalist bikinis and imagining themselves as some sort of David Hasslehoff in his heyday.
Wear nice swimmer with confidence.

RedFrogsRule · 03/05/2021 18:12

"Three good friends went for a swim.
The one who was fat wished she was thin.
The one who was curvy wished she was clever.
The one who was clever wished she swam better.
The really great swimmer wished she was witty.
The one who was witty wished she was pretty.
All three friends thought the other two were just fine.
If only they could let their own bright light shine.
So throw on your swimsuit if you're fat or you're thin.
Enjoy fun and friendship .... love the skin that you're in! "

AnnieSnap · 03/05/2021 18:13

The best way to get a bikini body, is to put a bikini on your body Wink

Fluffmum · 03/05/2021 18:17

14/16 is not fat. Go on holidays and enjoy yourself.

CaMePlaitPas · 03/05/2021 18:24

No one's looking at you OP, you're not that important!

mamabear715 · 03/05/2021 18:25

RedFrogsRule - LOVE it!
We all have bodies, who cares? Mind, I've never been shy, my sister & youngest daughter cover up. :-(
I'm sure chubby olde me has more fun!

MizMoonshine · 03/05/2021 18:34

I don't strip down at the beach cause I'm hella hairy but even that I don't think anyone else would give a toss about.

You get your wobbly bits out, give 'em an airing and a jiggle. Everyone else will be :D

KnitFastDieWarm · 03/05/2021 18:41

There’s a woman at my gym who, i would guess, is about a size 26-28 (i’m not a small woman by any means and she’s much larger than me). She trains in skintight bright leggings and a sports bra; she’s a competitive weightlifter and she could deadlift most people in the room. you can tell from her whole demeanour that she loves herself and gives absolutely zero fucks what anyone else thinks about her body.
We’ll all be dead one day, just wear the fucking bikini Grin

pollymere · 03/05/2021 18:48

I went on holiday after giving birth and was still in my maternity swimsuit. I looked around the beach in France and realized people were wearing bikinis irrespective of size or age. I went and bought a lovely one and have never worn a one-piece again. It's about confidence and style. I am always beach ready whatever I weigh. My only advice would be to buy one with a proper bra in. It will make the most of your curves and lift your tummy.

Meltedwellie · 03/05/2021 18:55

It isn’t healthy to be obese which I’m sure you know. You could easily lose half a stone by the half term holidays and more by summer. I say this as someone in the same predicament. There is nothing like actual weight loss for boosting your confidence x

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 03/05/2021 18:59

Nope. I’ve been fat on summer holidays many a time and the world doesn’t end - even in places surrounded by svelte, tanned Europeans rather than porky, pasty brits like me.

apalledandshocked · 03/05/2021 19:03

But, but you havent spent any time getting yourself "beach body ready"????? You will be THROWN OUT of womanhood

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 03/05/2021 19:03

I'm a similar height and weight to OP.
I bought a really comfortable swimming costume from M&S last year - a "post surgery" one, although I'm not, the top is comfortably supportive and cleverly cut.
I tend to wear it with a sarong - my thighs go lobster red at the merest hint of warm sun.
Interestingly, they had "swimming tights" in Lidle when I was shopping today - looked but didn't buy any.

SherbrookeFosterer · 03/05/2021 19:06

NEVER NEVER be ashamed of your body.

Remember that silly but great phrase;

"What other people think of you is none of your business."

Walk tall OP.

Palavah · 03/05/2021 19:07

On the contrary, think of all the wonderful things that could happen.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 03/05/2021 19:25

@LubaLuca

Nobody will even notice you, unless you're thinking of sporting a teeny weeny triangle bikini at South Shields in May.

I guarantee you won't be the fattest person on the beach.

And that'll be because the locals think you're overdressed for the weather...
Staffy1 · 03/05/2021 19:32

Just wear a costume, don't think twice about it. Life is too short for worrying about covering up and missing out on normal activities because of worries about appearance. Really, no one will think anything of it.

Bertiebiscuit · 03/05/2021 19:35

I'm bigger than you - size 16 - I wear a tankini every year and swim - we need more women to do this and stop the body fascism that keeps women down

Harmonypuss · 03/05/2021 19:40

I've been known to wear a swimsuit or tankini when I was a size 24 (I'm now the same size as you), so at size 14-16 you have nothing to worry about.

I probably have because I've got lots of loose skin to worry about, but I don't care about what anyone else thinks I look like, as long as I'm happy and my partner loves me for me, no-one else's opinions matter!

Purplealienpuke · 03/05/2021 20:00

When I'm on holiday I give zero fucks whether other people care what I'm wearing.....
Yes I wear a bikini. I wouldn't do that on a UK beach where there's a even a slight chance I may see someone I know 🤣🤣
Abroad (not last year or this 🙄) I wear the bikini with pride. I need the vitamin D 😊

themalamander · 03/05/2021 20:09

@Fluffmum

Yes, it is. When people know they are overweight, but they've accepted that about themselves and are happy and confident and are going to head to the beach dressed the way they want to dress without caring about others, then they are in a great place mentally.

If they come and say "I know I'm overweight but who cares, I'm happy with my look" and you say "oh no, you're not fat" all you are doing is insulting them, because in your head, you are thinking "fat is bad, people should be ashamed if being fat, it's a bad thing, I'd better tell her she isnt."

You are saying it because you think it's a compliment, because you think being overweight is shameful.

They know they are. Everyone else knows they are. Who cares? It's nothing to be ashamed of. Stop making it something to be denied, ignored or lied about.

nopuppiesallowed · 03/05/2021 20:30

@RedFrogsRule

"Three good friends went for a swim. The one who was fat wished she was thin. The one who was curvy wished she was clever. The one who was clever wished she swam better. The really great swimmer wished she was witty. The one who was witty wished she was pretty. All three friends thought the other two were just fine. If only they could let their own bright light shine. So throw on your swimsuit if you're fat or you're thin. Enjoy fun and friendship .... love the skin that you're in! "
Love it!
Original poster
BlowDryRat · 03/05/2021 20:39

@RedFrogsRule

"Three good friends went for a swim. The one who was fat wished she was thin. The one who was curvy wished she was clever. The one who was clever wished she swam better. The really great swimmer wished she was witty. The one who was witty wished she was pretty. All three friends thought the other two were just fine. If only they could let their own bright light shine. So throw on your swimsuit if you're fat or you're thin. Enjoy fun and friendship .... love the skin that you're in! "
I love this. Very true too.
OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 03/05/2021 20:41

@apalledandshocked

But, but you havent spent any time getting yourself "beach body ready"????? You will be THROWN OUT of womanhood
Yup, and meltedwellie will be holding the door open!
Original poster
BlowDryRat · 03/05/2021 20:41

@Meltedwellie

It isn’t healthy to be obese which I’m sure you know. You could easily lose half a stone by the half term holidays and more by summer. I say this as someone in the same predicament. There is nothing like actual weight loss for boosting your confidence x
I could and I'm trying. The exercise is sorted. I'm on week 7 of couch to 5k, walk every day and do several exercise classes a week over zoom. It's my grazing habit that needs to go next and I'm working on it with a counsellor.
OP posts: