Page 10 | To think nothing terrible will happen if fat me wears swimming attire on holiday?

BlowDryRat · 2021-05-02T10:30:33+00:00

Assuming we're ever allowed on holiday... I used to be a size 10 but this has crept up to a size 14-16. I do a lot of exercise but eat too much. None of my clothes fit and I feel quite self conscious. We're off to the beach over the half term and summer holidays and I've been stressing over what sort of cover-up to wear. It then occurred to me to wonder what would actually be so terrible if I just wore a normal swimming costume or tankini (I've never been a bikini person). Will the fish jump out of the sea in fright? Will ladies faint? Will small children run away in terror? Will everyone turn and laugh at my wobbly bits? Probably not. AIBU in thinking it will be fine, or is there some terrible consequence I haven't thought of yet?

Original poster

BlowDryRat · 03/05/2021 20:45

@apalledandshocked

But, but you havent spent any time getting yourself "beach body ready"????? You will be THROWN OUT of womanhood

My beach body prep...

To think nothing terrible will happen if fat me wears swimming attire on holiday?

OP posts:

RuggeryBuggery · 03/05/2021 20:53

To be honest the truth of it is now that you go to any swimming pool or beach in the UK and there are a significant number of overweight women (one of them me 😂), just how it is now. So you’ll be fine

Fluffmum · 03/05/2021 20:55

I’m 16 stone btw. Size 14/16 is not fat , I’m fat and I go to the beach and swim , I do think you stop worrying when you get older. So I’m not being condescending

mamabear715 · 03/05/2021 21:01

Some great posts on here!
#giggles
Fluffmum, I agree you don't worry so much when older. Plus you won't see the tanned, beautiful size 6 girl on the beach if I'm stood in front of her, I'll take all the room up! ;-) :-)

Sunrainsnow · 03/05/2021 21:04

I'm bigger than you and take my kids swimming once or twice a week (Covid permitting). I wear a normal swimsuit and nobody has ever battered an eyelid. I definitely think swim dresses draw more attention. Someone in a baby swimming class I went to wore one. Her and the lady who always wore the skimpiest most inappropriate bikini were the only ones I even really noticed what they were wearing. It kind of made you take a second glass which probably made her feel more uncomfortable.

momtoboys · 03/05/2021 21:05

It will be fine. Put on a suit that you are physically comfortable in and go play with your family. There will be many on the beach feeling the same way you do!

Bodynegative · 03/05/2021 21:10

Average female height in Britain is 5'3" and average size is 14-16 so you're pretty normal. Confidence is all you need!

ERFFER · 03/05/2021 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaidEdithofAragon · 03/05/2021 21:18

I swim quite a lot and at the pool there's all shapes and sizes of women and no one gives it a second thought. The only thing that draws the eye is, as a previous poster said, people who try and cover up that they're bigger, like the swim dress things. Good posture and a confident manner makes anyone look ok.

Lalalablahblahblah · 03/05/2021 21:53

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Mamanyt · 03/05/2021 23:44

You will be utterly amazed at how little anyone cares except you. I've been to some clothing-optional beaches a few times, and every. single. time. have thought, "No way I'm getting naked at MY weight in front of strangers." Every single time have seen people entirely comfortable with their own bodies and the bodies of others. No funny looks (neither "come hither" nor "OH MY GOD, ECH!"). Just a calm acceptance. From toddlers to grandparents, just..."Oh, hi! Good to meet you." It was an experience. SO...if I can manage that, you'll be ok in your swimsuit. No one else, not fish, nor fowl, not human, is going to give a good darn.

hadtojoin · 04/05/2021 00:53

My exDH always compared me with other women who had 3 children like me that were slimmer than me. I never wore a swimsuit on holidays or days out, even if I was alone with the kids. I missed out on so much fun I could have had with them, swimming in the sea or pool. If I could go back I would have ignored him and just did what I wanted.
Wear your swimsuit with pride, no one is perfect, just enjoy yourself.

Justa47 · 04/05/2021 05:00

@BlowDryRat

I am size 18/20 5 10 and curvey.
Try a miraclesuit swim suit !

Ravenspeckingearly · 04/05/2021 05:27

My MIL (70) refuses to come swimming with her DGC when we visit them (overseas) once a year because she is worried about what other people, whom she doesn’t know, will think of her in a swimming costume. DC love swimming. I refuse to miss out on fun with my children because I’m not quite the shape id like to be and I couldn’t give a monkeys what anyone else thinks.

redcarbluecar · 04/05/2021 05:30

I’m quite a bit bigger than you and would wear a cossie/tankini on the beach. It’s nobody else’s concern.

Pinkpaisley · 04/05/2021 05:32

I am morbidly obese.

Yes, I am working on it. I have lost 2 stone so far this year.
It never occurred to me to not put on a swimsuit and enjoy myself at the beach.

Why shouldn’t I do something active and fun (that might even burn some calories along the way)?

Would it be better for me to pile on the clothing and spend the day sitting on my towel instead of swimming?

Downunderduchess · 04/05/2021 05:52

Go for it! The only horrible consequence would be if you didn’t & missed out on having fun. I’m bigger than you & I have in the last few years thought fuck it! I love swimming so now I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Enjoy!

motherrunner · 04/05/2021 06:51

I would notice - like I notice any woman who walks around confidently in a swimsuit. I used to be obese but for the last 22 years have been in the lower end of a healthy bmi. I still wear a cover up as I have a lot of body issues. I envy anyone who walks around in a swimsuit without a care in the world.

Frazzledd · 04/05/2021 07:05

I'm 5'8, size 8-10, 9 stone and I won't wear a bikini or swimsuit without feeling like I need to cover up my untanned legs, wobbly bits....its nothing to do with size, it's confidence- I see beautiful women larger than me wearing far less having fun and feel jealous I'm not them -

Also, people are judgemental! ....but that's because they're insecure about themselves-

bemusedmoose · 04/05/2021 07:32

You will look like every other regular woman. I gave up on unachievable magazine bodies a long time ago. Plus post covid I think you would need to be an extremely strong person not to have gained a bit.

But my biggest tip - as long as you are comfortable in something, what the hell does it matter what a bunch of strangers think!? I had rude comments on the beach from some older ladies I was a size 12, nothing much to right home about chunky thighs... They were so rude about me being in a tankini with my kids - it was a good coverage one didn't show anything... I just thought what sh#tty people! Even my kids said they were rude. I just carried on. There is always someone who thinks everyone needs to hear their rude remarks what ever size you are, because they are just rude and nasty. So just be you, wear what makes you happy - your size and body doesn't define who you are. After all - you can loose weight, people can't loose a crappy attitude.

helpIhateclothesshopping · 04/05/2021 08:38

I don't think you need to worry, wear what you like. Personally I prefer a swimsuit, always have, even that short time I was a size 10. I have seen people who are at least a size 20 topless on the beach. I think the main thing is to own it. The appearance of confidence makes a huge difference. Not always easy to be confident but they can totally pull it off.

Localocal · 04/05/2021 10:11

Do not give this another thought. I guarantee no one will notice or care.

I always love the old ladies in Italy. - women in their 70s, all squashy and wrinkly, rocking string bikinis on the packed beaches. They make me feel ridiculous if I wear a swim dress.

Pro tip from a size 20-22 - your holiday snaps in the water will be your most flattering. Wear your coolest shades and everything from the shoulders down will be hidden. So get a nice tankini (because life is too short to pull a wet costume back on after every trip to the loo) and jump in the pool/sea!

PeachyPeachTrees · 04/05/2021 11:18

My Dad is one of those people who looks at every body and makes comments about them being fat. He's been naturally slim his whole life. I think this is why I am so self conscious about looking fat in a swimming costume. I do agree it's best to wear a regular swimsuit than a cover-up style one.

Harmonypuss · 04/05/2021 12:22

@Meltedwellie

It isn’t healthy to be obese which I’m sure you know. You could easily lose half a stone by the half term holidays and more by summer. I say this as someone in the same predicament. There is nothing like actual weight loss for boosting your confidence x

We all know that being obese isn't healthy but who on earth is suggesting that the OP is??

Also, losing half a stone by the half term holidays may be easy for you but definitely NOT for the majority of people, you're expecting someone to lose 7lbs in under 4 weeks, for some people this may be doable with crazy crash diets but the weight comes straight back on as soon as you stop the diet and that isn't sustainable.

On top of which, not everyone can lose weight easily at all... try having a physical disability that restricts your mobility and a seriously under active thyroid (or as in my case, I've not got one at all), losing weight is almost IMPOSSIBLE without medical intervention.

So, as I said at the top of my post, we know it's not healthy to be obese but it's also not healthy to be the obnoxious person who goes around fat shaming people!

Some of us may be carrying more weight than we'd like to be but we can't all just nip off to the gym to get rid of it and we don't need to have it pointed out at every turn.

The best weight to get rid of is the fat shamer!

Live and let live!

AnnieSnap · 04/05/2021 13:14

[quote Harmonypuss]@Meltedwellie