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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nothing terrible will happen if fat me wears swimming attire on holiday?

258 replies

BlowDryRat · 02/05/2021 11:30

Assuming we're ever allowed on holiday...

I used to be a size 10 but this has crept up to a size 14-16. I do a lot of exercise but eat too much. None of my clothes fit and I feel quite self conscious.

We're off to the beach over the half term and summer holidays and I've been stressing over what sort of cover-up to wear. It then occurred to me to wonder what would actually be so terrible if I just wore a normal swimming costume or tankini (I've never been a bikini person). Will the fish jump out of the sea in fright? Will ladies faint? Will small children run away in terror? Will everyone turn and laugh at my wobbly bits? Probably not.

AIBU in thinking it will be fine, or is there some terrible consequence I haven't thought of yet?

OP posts:
misscockerspaniel · 02/05/2021 13:40

I once had to walk through Gatwick Airport wearing a cast on my nose following an operation and had been dreading having people staring at me, pointing, making comments, laughing at me etc. Literally nobody appeared to notice it, they were so engrossed going about their own business.

We build these things up in our heads when there is no need. Wear you swimming costume or tankini and have a lovely time Smile

MiddleClassProblem · 02/05/2021 13:40

@Fountainsoftea

If you were a man, would you give a shit? Or would you wear your middle aged beer belly proudly, possibly accompanied by a pat and:"bought and paid for, that"?
DH wore a t shirt at pools and swimming pools most of his life due to being body conscious. Please don’t stereotype.
CecilyP · 02/05/2021 13:42

There will be much larger people than you on the beach wearing all sorts of bathing attire. You would probably look better in a well cut one piece but, equally, if you want to wear a scimpy bikini, nothing bad is likely to happen!

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 02/05/2021 13:43

Just don’t wear a fucking swim dress whatever you do. They look absolutely awful on anyone.

SpringtimeSummertime · 02/05/2021 13:44

@GreyhoundG1rl

There is always somebody fatter that you. Always. This cannot be emphasised enough.
Yes! Me! By miles! If I were your size OP I would be parading around the swimming pool in my swimming costume and flip flops as if I were on some sort of photo shoot believe me! If you see me cowering on a sunbed whilst you’re there - try not to stare! 🤣
Thatisnotwhatisaid · 02/05/2021 13:44

I honestly never even notice other people’s swimwear, too preoccupied in my own life to care tbh. You will find the vast majority of people are focused on themselves so don’t care.

MinnieMountain · 02/05/2021 13:44

The only time I’ve felt self-concious in swimwear was wearing a swimming costume on the beach in Sardinia age 23 and realising that even women in their 60’s+ were wearing bikinis. I felt a bit silly.

These days I have a wrinkled stomach due to a large baby and a prominent scar on my chest. I wear sport bikinis as they fit my long body better. I really couldn’t care less what people think.

motherloaded · 02/05/2021 13:45

@Fountainsoftea

If you were a man, would you give a shit? Or would you wear your middle aged beer belly proudly, possibly accompanied by a pat and:"bought and paid for, that"?
depends on the man...

I can't stand the stereotypes around being a MAN, or being a WOMAN. Apart from some biological facts, we don't all fit in the same bag of cliches because we have a vagina Hmm

SpringtimeSummertime · 02/05/2021 13:45

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

Just don’t wear a fucking swim dress whatever you do. They look absolutely awful on anyone.
Just to add to my last post...I’ll be the one in the swim dress
Hankunamatata · 02/05/2021 13:45

I'm an 18 and wear short style swim bottoms ( that high waisted and hold in my gut) with tankini top. Supports boobs and fabric from too is not too tight so covers mum tum

WorraLiberty · 02/05/2021 13:47

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

Just don’t wear a fucking swim dress whatever you do. They look absolutely awful on anyone.
Perhaps the OP should be the judge of that?
motherloaded · 02/05/2021 13:47

There is always somebody fatter that you. Always.

whilst obviously true about the OP who is only a 14, it's a pretty shitty thing to say when there WILL be a really big girl who will be the fattest that day.

LowlandLucky · 02/05/2021 13:47

Wear what you like because the people around you will be normal just like you x

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/05/2021 13:47

All foreign beaches are littered with people of all sizes, ranging from lithe and slim, to genuinely, objectively huge.
They're all enjoying themselves, totally at ease with themselves and nobody gives a toss.
Get on that that beach and boss it!

motherloaded · 02/05/2021 13:49

Just don’t wear a fucking swim dress whatever you do. They look absolutely awful on anyone.

it's not the look as such, it's the time they take to dry! Wet clingy fabric sticking on you when the other women are wearing 2 pieces who dry in a heart beat... not a great feeling.

MikeWozniaksGloriousTache · 02/05/2021 13:49

Just to add to my last post...I’ll be the one in the swim dress
Sorry but I stand by what I said. If you feel confident that’s all that matters but they're terrible for adding volume and the frump factor is off the charts. A well structured bikini or costume is miles better and I say this as a size 22 who hid behind layers of fabric for years.

Arbadacarba · 02/05/2021 13:52

It very much depends what sort of body shape you have as to what style of costume looks best. A one-piece looks dreadful on me because I'm top heavy with relatively narrow hips and a flat bum - I look like a blubbery version of Desperate Dan in a one-piece. A tankini or bikini is much more balancing.

SpringtimeSummertime · 02/05/2021 13:54

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

Just to add to my last post...I’ll be the one in the swim dress Sorry but I stand by what I said. If you feel confident that’s all that matters but they're terrible for adding volume and the frump factor is off the charts. A well structured bikini or costume is miles better and I say this as a size 22 who hid behind layers of fabric for years.
In the spirit of the thread... nobody cares and if they do, they are the one with the problem. Think what you like! I love swim dresses and no, a ‘well structured bikini or costume’ is most definitely not more flattering once you get to my size!
WorraLiberty · 02/05/2021 13:58

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

Just to add to my last post...I’ll be the one in the swim dress Sorry but I stand by what I said. If you feel confident that’s all that matters but they're terrible for adding volume and the frump factor is off the charts. A well structured bikini or costume is miles better and I say this as a size 22 who hid behind layers of fabric for years.
Just imagine if different people liked different things?

Those layers of fabric you've been hiding behind could be 'off the frump factor charts' too in some other people's opinions.

But hopefully they don't shove their opinions down your throat, especially when like the OP you're having an insecure moment.

OooPourUsACupLove · 02/05/2021 14:01

There's loads of clothes that would look better on me if I were thinner.

Most people won't notice other than to briefly be aware of me as a fat middle aged bit of scenery rather than a slim middle aged bit of scenery.

I know the odd person may give a little private shudder or silently judge me for not meeting their standards but so what?

The way I see it, it's not like I had the choice of the fat body and the thin body this morning and I picked the wrong one!

OK, over time I can choose a thinner body, but each morning my options for that specific day are to do/wear XYZ with the body I've got, or not do XYZ at all, and I'm not going to hide myself away to spare the sensibilities of hypothetical strangers.

iloveeverykindofcat · 02/05/2021 14:20

Honestly, most people aren't going around scrutinising other people's bodies. A few are. Because my mother is one of the few, it took me until I was an adult to realize that really....truly....most people aren't looking. If anything they're thinking about themselves.

thatsgotit · 02/05/2021 14:23

@MyDcAreMarvel

You're not fat. *@ThePlantsitter* it’s not supportive though. People will die because of other falling over themselves not to “fat shame”. Knowing you are fat/obese and need to urgently loose weight for health reasons is a separate issue to being able to wear beachwear.
I'm sure the OP is concerned about the health side of things and addressing it. That wasn't the OP's actual question on this thread, though, was it. Hmm

Personally I think it sends a positive message when people aren't put off swimwear/swimming just because they're large - it says they're willing to get out there and do their bodies some good by exercising.

OP, pick whatever you feel most comfortable wearing, wear it and have a great time. smile

EspressoExpresso · 02/05/2021 14:28

Find something that you're comfortable wearing and you're 3/4 of the way to feeling confident in doing so.

You may prefer to have some sort of floaty coverup thing to pop on whilst you're on the beach that you can just whip off if you're going for a swim?

When I had my son, I vowed that my size (currently a 24/26 down from a 26/28...again!) wouldn't stop me from doing anything, and it doesn't. My son shouldn't miss out on opportunities because of my insecurities. We're off swimming this afternoon, all 23 wobbly stones of me

mamakoukla · 02/05/2021 14:29

When I was young I spent a lot of time at the beach. The one thing I did enjoy was being surrounded by people of all shapes and sizes, there to enjoy their time by the sea. There’s no hiding under carefully chosen clothing and it made me appreciate and accept the many different ways of being human. I wish I had had the ability to apply that to myself.

Go to the beach, wear your swimsuits, bikinis. Enjoy your day. The clothing is just that. You’ve all inspired me to be more kind to myself. I will get that swimsuit out again, claim my spot by the water and simply enjoy.

FedNlanders · 02/05/2021 14:33

If they care thats them with a problem