Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think nothing terrible will happen if fat me wears swimming attire on holiday?

258 replies

BlowDryRat · 02/05/2021 11:30

Assuming we're ever allowed on holiday...

I used to be a size 10 but this has crept up to a size 14-16. I do a lot of exercise but eat too much. None of my clothes fit and I feel quite self conscious.

We're off to the beach over the half term and summer holidays and I've been stressing over what sort of cover-up to wear. It then occurred to me to wonder what would actually be so terrible if I just wore a normal swimming costume or tankini (I've never been a bikini person). Will the fish jump out of the sea in fright? Will ladies faint? Will small children run away in terror? Will everyone turn and laugh at my wobbly bits? Probably not.

AIBU in thinking it will be fine, or is there some terrible consequence I haven't thought of yet?

OP posts:
FedNlanders · 02/05/2021 14:35

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

Just don’t wear a fucking swim dress whatever you do. They look absolutely awful on anyone.
Who cares though?
Katieweasel · 02/05/2021 14:35

Every year I diet from just after Christmas to lose my winter chub in time for my summer holiday. Every year I sit on my sun lounger and see women of all shapes and sizes having a perfectly lovely holiday and not taking the blind but of notice of me or what I look like. Still every year I'm obsessed with being beach body ready! Why do we do this to ourselves?

MadCattery · 02/05/2021 14:36

I live about a mile from the Gulf of Mexico, and have walked the beach hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. I have seen people in every size, shape and color, but can’t recall what a single person looked like or was wearing. Some young, slender girls wear shorts and tshirts. Some men with very large bellies wear tiny speedo bikinis. Nobody even cares, really. Today may be the best you’ll look, maybe the best you’ll feel. Enjoy it, so it 20 yrs you won’t regret not enjoying this time of your life.

SpringtimeSummertime · 02/05/2021 14:41

@iloveeverykindofcat

Honestly, most people aren't going around scrutinising other people's bodies. A few are. Because my mother is one of the few, it took me until I was an adult to realize that really....truly....most people aren't looking. If anything they're thinking about themselves.
It’s interesting isn’t it? The only person I know who does this is riddled with their own confidence issues and is the sourest person I have ever met when it comes to what others look like...
SofiaMichelle · 02/05/2021 14:41

@Magicpaintbrush

FWIW I don't think your height and dress size make you 'obese'. I am a size 14 myself, and while I can see that it couldn't hurt to lose a stone I can also see that a size 14 is far from being 'obese', it's somewhere in the middle...

Do you not understand that 'obese' isn't subjective? It's a description resulting from a mathematical calculation taking into account height and weight.

We don't get to just decide if we're classed as obese or not. Same as we don't get to choose what height we are.

The OP even showed the result of the calculation for her height and weight. It's that simple.

OP, just go and enjoy yourself! No one will notice and even less, care. Have a great time. Smile

torquewench · 02/05/2021 14:48

@Lovetoridemybicycle

I am 6ft and size 24, God help any one that tried to stop me wearing a swimming costume on a beach, or lycra padded leggings on a bikeGrin. It's suitable attire for the sport/activity you are doing
Can you please tell me where I can buy decent padded leggings? I have shorts but the 5mm thick sponge padding is useless for saving my apparently delicate peach of a bum
Boo2997 · 02/05/2021 14:57

Wear the swimsuit or whatever you want to wear. No one will bat an eyelid and those who do will be admiring your confidence! I’m very much been the same as you worrying about it but I’ve grown to care less as I’ve got older.

weewitch · 02/05/2021 14:57

What I meant when I said I'm the same height and weight and not obese is that I don't feel obese or worry about how I look because of my weight.

I know I need to lose weight and I am actually actively trying, however I take regular exercise and whilst overweight, I am toned and feel good in myself (albeit want to lose the weight if I can but I'm not beating myself up about it and would certainly never worry about wearing a swimming costume to the beach).

SofiaMichelle · 02/05/2021 14:57

@torquewench I'd recommend trying somewhere like 'Wiggle' for bike wear, etc.

If you're getting a particularly sore bum, perhaps you have the wrong saddle for your needs?

You can check those on Wiggle, too, if you need to.

Smile
maddiemookins16mum · 02/05/2021 15:04

I’m a size 18 😔 and 4 stone overweight. I certainly notice other obese people who wear bikinis. People DO notice.
That said, I don’t think you personally have anything to worry about, oh and Sarongs are a lifesaver.

Legwarmers · 02/05/2021 15:10

Agree with this 👆

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/05/2021 15:12

@maddiemookins16mum

I’m a size 18 😔 and 4 stone overweight. I certainly notice other obese people who wear bikinis. People DO notice. That said, I don’t think you personally have anything to worry about, oh and Sarongs are a lifesaver.
Maybe because you already feel self conscious?
fattygoesswimming · 02/05/2021 15:15

I'm size 28 and I swim most days so far the world hasn't ended. A woman who was several sizes larger than me was swimming. Nobody cares.

Usernameisgone · 02/05/2021 15:18

Honestly no one cares! I live in a holiday country and you see all shapes and sizes at the beach! Go enjoy your holiday! No one is watching xx

Fizbosshoes · 02/05/2021 15:19

I'm a size 8 (not a stealth boast, I am not skinny because I am really short) and I am often too self conscious to wear swimwear most of the time at the beach even it's even warm enough to do so ....then I get to the beach and find people of all shapes and sizes happily going about their business in their swimsuits and I realise no one spends their days at the beach concerned about what others are wearing!

Anonmousse · 02/05/2021 15:23

It’s interesting isn’t it? The only person I know who does this is riddled with their own confidence issues and is the sourest person I have ever met when it comes to whatotherslook like...

My mum and MIL often used to remark (sometimes within earshot of subjectBlush) on how fat and overweight other women are or what they should or shouldnt wear, and they look a state etc , when both were very overweight themselves.

Mamamamasaurus · 02/05/2021 15:24

To be honest, I couldn't give a shit what size you are. I'd be looking at your tankini and judge whether I like it but not that you 'shouldn't be wearing it'.

I might even think "good on her for wearing what the fuck she likes" but I understand that this is based on my own views about my own body.

Fuck everyone - wear whatever you like.

Mylittlepony374 · 02/05/2021 15:28

I'm really fat. Like size 20 or 22 currently. I wear bikinis. I've had a couple of whale comments from teenage boys. But I figure they'd say that even if I was in a full body cover up, so I may as well be comfortable.

Unfitbuttrying47 · 02/05/2021 15:32

I’m on the (freezing) beach at the moment. Looking around, I can see ladies who are probably an 8 and ladies who are around an 18. Nobody is taking any notice of any of them. I’m only looking now as I’ve just read your post. The only lady I really noticed is the one wearing a Dry robe as she looks a lot warmer than the rest of us! Wear what you feel comfortable in.

GreyhoundG1rl · 02/05/2021 15:33

I’m on the (freezing) beach at the moment
Envy. Even with the freezing bit!

MamaNell · 02/05/2021 15:35

My mum was a larger lady all my life (size 20-28) . She never played on the beach just sat and read her book in a floaty sundress. Lovely that we were at the beach but not the same. I swore that when I had kids I would make sure that my body issues didn't come in the way of having fun. Swimming, beach crickets, sandcastles and all the rest of it is much more fun.
I didn't care what size my mum was I just wanted her to play, and its the same now. Enjoy yourself!

HippeePrincess · 02/05/2021 15:37

I don’t care what you or anyone else wears unless I can see your fanny, even then I don’t really care that much.

Miseryl · 02/05/2021 15:37

Dress sizes are so odd! I wear some some size 14s and yet am an inch taller than you and weigh about 67kgs. I'm sometimes size 12 as well though.

FusionChefGeoff · 02/05/2021 15:38

Oooih that moment when you realise that, actually, you just DGAF is awesome!!

Welcome, welcome the world is now your oyster.

Asthenia · 02/05/2021 16:03

Oh god OP I used to spend my life worrying about this. But why should you miss out on feeling the sun on your skin and swimming in the sea and enjoying yourself purely because you’re overweight?! If people have a problem with your body that’s very sad for them and they’re probably working through some deep rooted issues of their own.