To think nothing terrible will happen if fat me wears swimming attire on holiday?

[BlowDryRat]

Assuming we're ever allowed on holiday...

I used to be a size 10 but this has crept up to a size 14-16. I do a lot of exercise but eat too much. None of my clothes fit and I feel quite self conscious.

We're off to the beach over the half term and summer holidays and I've been stressing over what sort of cover-up to wear. It then occurred to me to wonder what would actually be so terrible if I just wore a normal swimming costume or tankini (I've never been a bikini person). Will the fish jump out of the sea in fright? Will ladies faint? Will small children run away in terror? Will everyone turn and laugh at my wobbly bits? Probably not.

AIBU in thinking it will be fine, or is there some terrible consequence I haven't thought of yet?

@SugarCrash1

I think we all should have had a nanny like the Mitford sisters had: ‘Always remember you are the least important person in the room’ and to Diana before her first wedding: ‘Nobody’s going to be looking at you’

No, believe me, we should not. I grew up with this whole, 'let's disparage ourselves into nothing' attitude. It took a long, long time before I could accept any kind of compliment with any grace at all, and still struggle hugely with saying anything positive about myself at all. And the stupidity of saying no-one will look at a bride on her wedding day! Ludicrous.

"But it's not just about how you look is it. It's about how you feel.*

It's all about how I feel. How I look can vary hugely.

to Diana before her first wedding: ‘Nobody’s going to be looking at you’
What was the virtue in saying this to Diana? A three year old would have known it wasn't true

I stopped worrying about this shit when I was on holiday one year and a young slim gorgeous woman near me on the loungers was taking her outer layers by the pool and looked so self-conscious and unconfident. It just made me realise that everyone has hang ups even the beautiful people. The ones taking continuous selfies in the hope of getting just one they like enough to share, the ones getting their OH to video them jumping into the pool but having to make sure he’s in just the right place and repeats it several times to get it just so.

The only ones who seem happy are the older women, the 70 year olds with bikinis and bellies and sun aged skin, who look like they’re just enjoying the sun on their skin and not worrying about how they look to everyone else. That was the year I thought “fuck it”, and bought size 18 bikinis (big pants style, but I still get the sun on my tumpkin!) and shorts rather than the 3/4 trousers I’d confined myself to wearing.

I don’t give a fuck if someone thinks I’m unhealthy or setting a bad example to my DD by accepting my body as it is, very overweight. I’d much rather she sees me happy and accepting of myself than constantly worrying, dieting, covering up.

Aww, what a lovely thread. MN at its best, full of support and encouragement.
The worst bits of my body are my tummy and legs. You know how you get fat folk with decent, slimmish legs? Well, I'm not one of them. And legs are really difficult to cover up by the beach or pool!
If anyone knows of any miracles for chubby toddler style legs, do shout!

Do wear a bathing suit! I used to be a tiny scrap of a thing and worried about the size of my arse so much I wore a t shirt in the pool. Absolutely madness. Now I wear bikinis and I'm a size 14 and in my 50s. I love that Virgin advertisement with the older ladies in bathing suits.

Sod it. I bet you will look fantastic!

I rely on the power of my dazzling white legs to blind anyone who might look at me and notice that I am a wobbly 10/12.

Wear what you want whether that's a swim dress, bikini or baggy t shirt and shorts. Life is too short to care about strangers and their judgements (not that many do this as they are probably too frightened of being judged themselves!).

SofiaMichelle - Do you not understand that 'obese' isn't subjective? It's a description resulting from a mathematical calculation taking into account height and weight.

I do understand that, yes. I also understand the difference between being positive and kind to somebody and being negative, rude and argumentative - do you? In the grand scheme of things a size 14-16 is not huge in comparison to what I would generally think of as 'obese'. It is slightly overweight, and is at the lower end of overweight, when you consider that the next size down is a 12 which is a healthy size and not considered overweight. That's all I meant.

@Magicpaintbrush

I'm short. After I had my kids, I was a size 12 in most shops. I was also clinically obese.

Obese isnt morbidly obese. Its just overweight enough to be too much and, as a society, we have totally lost sight of what is a healthy weight and people start saying that a size 12 is healthy when really, on quite a number of people, it is obese.

The obese label is given at the point where the extra weight becomes a health hazard. You cant ignore it just because you look like most people. We are sitting on a time bomb of an obesity epidemic, and as the younger generations start to age, we're going to see stresses on healthcare due to weight related illness.

However, the medical side is separate from the feeling confident side. People still look great, still wear what they like on the beach, be happy and enjoy their body. It doesnt make it healthy though, not even at a size 12.

I do realise that height has it's part to play in relation to whether a size is healthy/overweight or not. That obviously wasn't clear from my post.

You'll be more than fine, have a lovely time.

@Magicpaintbrush my BMI is 24/25 and I wear a size 14 in some brands and a 12 in others. I'm not tall either- 5'5". Yes I am at the higher end of the healthy BMI but only just.

@BlowDryRat wear whatever you want, but just make sure it's a well fitted costume as it does tonnes to help your confidence! No one gives a toss unless you're literally spilling out of it!

I should have actually quoted @themalamander in my post.

There's always all shapes and sizes at the beach. No one cares.

We are away for half term too.

I'm bigger (and shorter!) and my main concern is if we get the weather to wear our cossies.

the times I've been laughed at and made fun of were always by young men in the teens/20s. I'm now almost 40, so, utterly invisible to all.men now which is a god send as they don't even think to laugh at me any more. They're too busy look at the tiny slim teenage girls. you'll be fine.

Make sure you have a lovely hat and some very dark oversized sunnies and position your lounge so you can watch the hot youngish lads walk by.

Whatever you do, please don't go down the swimming dress route, they look ok whilst on a sunlounger, but as soon as you get in the water the skirt balloons up around your waist and then sticks to your thighs when you get out
I have been known to wear a big t-shirt over a Cossie, but I am considerably bigger than you!!

@torquewench
I use either fat lad at the back for leggings, but I find their bib shorts too short in the body. D2D for bib shorts/leggings and slightly relaxed fit tops. They are also slightly cheaper than FLAB.
Unfortunately no cheap brands for my size and wiggle tend not to go that big.
Also make sure you have a ladies saddle. Once you find one that works for you, take it with you if you buy a new bike!

I’m size 20-22. Live near the beach. Go all the time in the summer. Swimming costume, sometimes wetsuit. No one gives a hoot and if they do that days more about them than me. Plus how can you have fun and swim in the sea if you’ve got your clothes on?!!! Do it ... Do it .... Do it ....

My last sun holiday was back in 2019 and I felt the same op. Used to be a size 10, crept up to a 14/16 and I'm 5'3" so I show the weight. I was getting myself into a right pickle, the just thought 'fuck it' 'I'm going to own my bikini body' and I did. No one died, they didn't call in the whaling team and we all had a fab holiday.

I am seriously underweight
Let me tell you OP
I get looks, without a shadow of a doubt. All the time.
Lots of oversight people around, loads in fact
Not so many seriously underweight

@Wearywithteens

Going on the usual mn response, the slim ‘healthy’ people will judge you in the worst way as being a worthless human being but the best revenge is a life well lived so just enjoy being an ‘average’ uk body and enjoy your holiday.

Noooo... I'm slim but not healthy (drinking and smoking). I don't think the OP's size even sounds big, but I see all shapes and sizes and think everyone should enjoy the sun on their bodies. Someone can have a more pleasing larger form than a slimmer person, it's different for everyone...

OP you aren't going to the beach as an ornament for others to admire. Dress however the fuck you like, and have a great time.

No one notices others .. unless they have a very skimpy bikini or tiny thong 🙈
I like to get a fake tan done before I go on a sun holiday and that makes me feel a lot better about peeling off .