@Namechangenumber2000
Thank you for all your replies. Lots to think about. I've explained to dd that he won't look like himself. That his spirt/soul/ the part that made him him isn't there anymore. Dd says she still wants to go. I'm going to see what directors say and my mum. Dd is handling it quite well atm. Almost as if nothing as happened. I don't know if it's because of the sn or if its just not real to her yet. She was sleeping at granny and grandads when it happened. She went to bed and woke up to the sound of cpr.
OP, I’m really sorry for your loss.
I’m going to be very honest here, so please don’t read on if you have already decided not to view.
Your father probably won’t just look like he’s asleep, and he will look different. You know this already. But it’s more than a little paleness, or just the “spark of life” being gone.
My mother was 62 when she died, and like your father, had undergone a post-mortem, which may have affected her appearance. When I saw her a week after death, the muscles and skin around her mouth had slackened, pulling it downwards into a grotesque sagging expression not seen on living people. Her mouth was closed - the work of the mortician - but the muscles entirely slack. She did not look like her at all from the nose down, it was upsetting and it felt like an invasion to see her previously lovely face in that way.
I took one glimpse and then closed my eyes and turned away. Prepare yourself to do the same. I hope it goes well, whatever you decide. And I hope my comment is not too upsetting, I just want to prepare you. Because these things are so hidden from us usually, it can be hard to understand what people really mean when they say “he won’t look like him anymore”.