To give a stranger £20

[alliejay81]

I was leaving the supermarket 30 minutes ago when I was approached by a man. He told me he had been following his Dad - who was in an ambulance having had a heart attack - when he ran out of petrol. We went round the houses a bit, the story didn't entirely make sense, but it became clear he didn't have any cash or cards on him. He then started asking where I lived before asking if he could borrow some cash. In the end, I gave him £20, for two reasons:

1. if he was genuine (and I wasn't convinced he was) then I'd helped him out
2. he was quite a big burly bloke and the car park was quiet and I felt a little intimidated

I came home and DH and his mate (in the garden, covid compliant) think I was definitely conned and should phone the non-emergency police line.

Was I being unreasonable to give him £20 and would I be unreasonable not to call the non-emergency police line (I just want to move on)?

It sounds like it might have been a tall tale, I guess you could tell the police in case they get repeat occurences.

You don't have to call them if you don't want to.

I'm sorry you had an intimidating/worrying encounter

I would say about 99% you were conned. Not something I would call police about though.

You could let the supermarket know? He may be known to them if its a scam and/or they can ask their security to keep an eye on their exit/car park for anything like that

I wouldn’t worry about it. Your heart was in the right place. You my gave him money to help him, now I’d just leave it and I guess he’s been helped if that’s what he needed. If you see him again then yes I’d report him but only if I saw him again. And only my opinion. Best of luck.

I’d call 101 just to report it. It’s almost certainly a con, and you say you felt intimidated. It’s also odd he was asking where you live. If the police get complaints they can start patrolling in that area to try and catch him/scare him off.

Yabu to give him the money-you we’re almost certainly conned. It’s probably worth calling the non emergency police to alert them to this scammer working your area but I doubt you’ll get your money back.

So basically you gave Him the money because you felt intimidated by him?
Please report to the Supermarket and The Police

You were conned.

Makes a change from a baby being taken to hospital, though. Or the kids being locked out of the house. Or the van has broken down, see, the clutch cable has gone? [holds up bit of window winder mechanism] Or 'it'll cost me ten pounds a night to stay at the homeless shelter'.

But he's got enough to buy himself a bag of heroin, so he'll be happy for a short time, assuming he doesn't accidentally kill himself with the purchase he made after scamming you.

Total bullshit in all probability.

Had this once from a guy who was bleeding from the head saying he had been assaulted and needed train fare. He was there for weeks having been assaulted each day!!!

Started asking where you lived???? What on earth would that have to do with it? Con merchant out to unnerve you. I would report as he may do it to other people who also feel intimidated.

You mightve been. But on the other hand, he mightve been genuine so I would've done the same. And I would hope that if anybody I knew needed help that somebody would help them.

My brother really needed help in public once and nobody helped him because he's big and looks a bit scary owing to his debilitating illness. I wish more people had been there for him that day like you were OP.

It was definitely a scam and the police won’t get back money you gave away but worth reporting as they may swing by and stop him scaring others.

@milkjetmum

You could let the supermarket know? He may be known to them if its a scam and/or they can ask their security to keep an eye on their exit/car park for anything like that

99% a con, I would say. He'll probably pull the same trick on you next time you go shopping! Definitely tell the supermarket what happened. I've had a lady knocking here, saying she lives down the road (she doesn't), has locked herself out and needs £20 for a taxi to get a key from her mum's house. She'd done the same in other roads (I had heard about her on social media) but you could see how some people would fall for it, or worry that they would be thought of as uncharitable by a neighbour.

Scam

There's a bloke round here has approached me probably 10 times on different occasions saying his mum had died he needed the bus fair for her funeral, his kid was ill and he needed money to get to the hospital and on and on, a different story each time.

Its a common tactic, as is hanging around places with not much footfall so people feel intimidated.

Definitely call 101 and report, I do when I see the bloke hanging around here. He approaches people who he feels he can intimidate, I've seen him approach very elderly people etc.

You were definitely conned. Sorry op.

It’s a well known scam but police will do nothing.

You were scammed but I don't know what the police could do about it.

I’d call the non emergency police. It’s most likely a con. He is approaching lone women that needs to be stopped

You may have been conned but don’t be too hard on yourself. Chalk it up to experience and be more assertive the next time.

I did once give £25 to a lady who was crying on my street because she had no money left and she was going to miss the last train of the evening to the hospital where her 9 year old was dying from cancer. It sounds like the perfect con story but this lady was genuinely distressed and talked to me about her child like a mother would. She gave me the name of the ward where the girl apparently was, it wasn’t made up. The ‘father’ was an alcoholic abusive twat who would throw her out with no money or food on her, hence her begging on the streets.

It may have been a scam, but it may have also been a genuine mother whose only way of getting to her child was asking strangers for help. I thought to myself, if it was me in that situation I’d love for someone to help me. I have never regretted giving her the money, and I think about her often.

Ps checked with the neighbours and the local FB group and she wasn’t known to have pulled that one before. So not a known con artist, although she could have well been one.

Thanks everyone, it seems likely I was scammed, which I pretty much knew at the time, the first thing I did afterwards was check I still had my car keys.

I know I'm not getting the money back, not really fussed about the money (if I couldn't afford it I would have given him less he didn't stipulate an amount, I just gave him enough to buy a petrol can and a small amount of petrol).

But he's got enough to buy himself a bag of heroin, so he'll be happy for a short time, assuming he doesn't accidentally kill himself with the purchase he made after scamming you.

that escalated quickly, he didn't look drug addled, and I'm certainly not taking responsibility for a (very unlikely) overdose!

I am curious though, what would other people have done? Would you have said no and risked a confrontation?

@ChristmasSexyTime

You mightve been. But on the other hand, he mightve been genuine so I would've done the same. And I would hope that if anybody I knew needed help that somebody would help them.

My brother really needed help in public once and nobody helped him because he's big and looks a bit scary owing to his debilitating illness. I wish more people had been there for him that day like you were OP.

This was my thinking! I would hate it if I said no and later realised he was genuine.

It's a fairly common scam. It didn't happen to be a large Tesco next to a large football ground? I often get approached by scammers at that one.

Almost certainly a con. There used to be a man hanging around my university campus begging for money to go to hospital to get his leg ulcer treated. He was there every day. Bearing in mind we only lived a 5 minute walk from the hospital his story seemed unlikely, although the ulcer was real as he showed it to people. A kind hearted American on exchange moved into my flat and actually took him to the hospital in a taxi one day, and took him inside. The man wasn't seen for a month or 2 but did eventually reappear...with only 1 leg.

@3scape

It's a fairly common scam. It didn't happen to be a large Tesco next to a large football ground? I often get approached by scammers at that one.

No, it's a Sainsbury's which shares a car park with a John Lewis. Seems like it might be common everywhere.