To give a stranger £20

[alliejay81]

I was leaving the supermarket 30 minutes ago when I was approached by a man. He told me he had been following his Dad - who was in an ambulance having had a heart attack - when he ran out of petrol. We went round the houses a bit, the story didn't entirely make sense, but it became clear he didn't have any cash or cards on him. He then started asking where I lived before asking if he could borrow some cash. In the end, I gave him £20, for two reasons:

1. if he was genuine (and I wasn't convinced he was) then I'd helped him out
2. he was quite a big burly bloke and the car park was quiet and I felt a little intimidated

I came home and DH and his mate (in the garden, covid compliant) think I was definitely conned and should phone the non-emergency police line.

Was I being unreasonable to give him £20 and would I be unreasonable not to call the non-emergency police line (I just want to move on)?

I am curious though, what would other people have done? Would you have said no and risked a confrontation?

Yeah, I would absolutely say no. I say no to all of these. Never have I been confornted. Also logically, he won't cause fuss in a hunting ground of his, will he.

If people stop giving money (and omg 20...is this real) these people will stop doing this.

Agree about contacting the shop so guard can look for him.

It's only £20, not worth worrying about

Me and my oh got this scam put to us in a car park. He wanted £20 to get to hospital to see his sick kid. We’d just lost our first child so it really resonated with us. However, we were heading home and lived just past the hospital so offered to give him a lift instead..there were so many “reasons” why that wasn’t possible and why he had to have cash and how he was getting paid tomorrow and would pay us back etc. Was just a scammer.

@Paperyfish

Me and my oh got this scam put to us in a car park. He wanted £20 to get to hospital to see his sick kid. We’d just lost our first child so it really resonated with us. However, we were heading home and lived just past the hospital so offered to give him a lift instead..there were so many “reasons” why that wasn’t possible and why he had to have cash and how he was getting paid tomorrow and would pay us back etc. Was just a scammer.

Oh gosh, that's horrible.

You were conned. Just say no, I have don’t have any cash and then walk away(back into the supermarket if you are worried)

If people stop giving money (and omg 20...is this real) these people will stop doing this.

I'm not sure gullible / intimidated people are causing the problem here. Pretty sure it's the scammer with the lack of conscience causing the issue.

I would report it to the supermarket & the police. Not because I'd expect them to get my money back or anything, but because he needs to be stopped. You were intimidated - imagine being elderly or with a small baby or disabled. I would have gone back into the shop, not given him the money. These people need to be stopped

I am curious though, what would other people have done? Would you have said no and risked a confrontation?

I'd have just said no and walked off. He only persisted because you engaged with him in the first place!

You weren't conned or scammed, you were mugged. You felt intimidated by him, he had caught you in a quiet place and you felt forced to give him money.

I'd have just said I had no cash - which is normally true in any case.

I'm not sure gullible / intimidated people are causing the problem here. Pretty sure it's the scammer with the lack of conscience causing the issue.

It's like rats. If place keeps providing something they want, they will be back and multiplying.
Harsh but people need to wise up.

@Hoppinggreen

So basically you gave Him the money because you felt intimidated by him? Please report to the Supermarket and The Police

This ^^

And of course you were conned

No two ways about it.

almost certain that you were conned. I hope you didnt need that money

@alliejay81

If people stop giving money (and omg 20...is this real) these people will stop doing this.

I'm not sure gullible / intimidated people are causing the problem here. Pretty sure it's the scammer with the lack of conscience causing the issue.

I'm not sure gullible / intimidated people are causing the problem here. Pretty sure it's the scammer with the lack of conscience causing the issue.

Both are the problem - they go hand in hand.

Not many people carry cash really nowadays. If you didn't happen to have any, you would've just had to have said "No, sorry mate" and got in your car.

Something similar happened to me when I was young and naive. In my case he asked for $10 for the train fair to go and see his seriously ill mother. I gave him $20 as I said he would need to get back home again. In retrospect I hope he didn’t OD on the drugs he no doubt bought.

I always trot out the line. “Sorry I don’t carry any cash”. Done.

I would've said no, but I genuinely wouldn't have had any cash on me as I only ever use my cards.

You were definitely scammed. But, I always give them money too. The story I usually get is that a parent is dying of cancer in the hospital 200-ish miles and they need gas money. I usually don't have much cash, but I give them whatever I have.

Definitely a scam and I would have just said I’ve got no cash . There used to be an English chap who did this type of thing ( different story) at French service stations on the main motorway from Calais heading towards Paris .

A well known con. Giving money just encourages it to happen more

Did you tell him where you live?

I would never get out my purse in this situation (unless actually threatened). Would say I don't have any cash sorry and quickly move away, if necessary back to a busy area rather than my own car.

If someone genuinely ran out of fuel (which seems fairly unlikely anyway, unless you are very rural - most people know how far their car will go once the fuel light comes on, and most people keep money or a card on them) they would just be able to go to a petrol station and leave their details. If they ran out completely and could drive no further then they can phone someone they know, or their breakdown insurance, or the police, or failing any of those, they can go to a busy place and ask a man. The fact that they are asking a lone woman is enough of a signal that they aren't genuine.

@Reinventinganna

Did you tell him where you live?

No, I told him I didn't want the money back so I didn't need to give him my address. I did realise it was probably a scam, so my first priority was not to share my address, but he did seem distressed and I gave him the money on the off chance he was genuine (plus to make him go away).

A similar story happened to my husband and son. They parked car in a residential area. A young woman in a distressed state approached them. She was carrying a small baby. Apparently her partner had assaulted her and she had fled her home with no Money. She needed money to get to her parents house. They offered to phone her a taxi. She preferred cash.
They gave her £30.
It was probably a scam.
They could not risk it and wanted to help her.

you should call the police and give them a good description; it might save someone else being intimidated and conned.