To give a stranger £20

[alliejay81]

I was leaving the supermarket 30 minutes ago when I was approached by a man. He told me he had been following his Dad - who was in an ambulance having had a heart attack - when he ran out of petrol. We went round the houses a bit, the story didn't entirely make sense, but it became clear he didn't have any cash or cards on him. He then started asking where I lived before asking if he could borrow some cash. In the end, I gave him £20, for two reasons:

1. if he was genuine (and I wasn't convinced he was) then I'd helped him out
2. he was quite a big burly bloke and the car park was quiet and I felt a little intimidated

I came home and DH and his mate (in the garden, covid compliant) think I was definitely conned and should phone the non-emergency police line.

Was I being unreasonable to give him £20 and would I be unreasonable not to call the non-emergency police line (I just want to move on)?

I’ve done similar, not as much as £20. I suspected at the time that it was a scam, and found out later that I was right. But I have him the benefit of the doubt and would probably do the same again TBH, in case it was genuine.

Your home safe that’s the most important thing.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

You were conned.

Makes a change from a baby being taken to hospital, though. Or the kids being locked out of the house. Or the van has broken down, see, the clutch cable has gone? [holds up bit of window winder mechanism] Or 'it'll cost me ten pounds a night to stay at the homeless shelter'.

But he's got enough to buy himself a bag of heroin, so he'll be happy for a short time, assuming he doesn't accidentally kill himself with the purchase he made after scamming you.

Don't be so disgusting.

Whenever I think my job is shit, I just need to remind myself there are more painful ways of making a living.

To be honest, I think this when I see the videos on YouTube where scammers working from foreign call centres in poor countries get their come-uppance. I don't in any way condone what they're doing, of course, but I do wonder what motivates them to take the 'job'. Are they rich and just greedy for more wealth or are they desperate to feed their families and that's the only 'work' they can find, maybe hating themselves every minute that they feel forced into doing it? Are they essentially victims too - and do they get severely punished if they don't meet targets?

What they're doing is reprehensible, but I can't in all honesty laugh along when they're humiliated and torn to shreds, as most of the scammer-baiters do. There's one bloke who calls them out on it and makes them see beyond doubt that what they're doing is very wrong, but he always treats them as humans and tries to help educate them into making better choices. I don't know if any of them appreciate or benefit from it or if they just say anything they think he wants to hear and then laugh at him when they finish the call.

People in the UK, on the other hand....

@PurpleDaisies no she isn't. Don't put that on her.

@bunniesanddaisies

Well, thanks OP. you’ve ensured it will carry on!

Op did it to get the guy off her back. Do you not get she felt intimidated?

How interesting that OP alone is responsible for stopping scammers.

[quote Butwasitherdriveway]@PurpleDaisies no she isn't. Don't put that on her.[/quote]
Scammers carry on because people choose to give them money “just in case they’re genuine”. That’s what I have an issue with. People who know they’re probably being scammed but choose to go along with it, not those who have no idea.

@Butwasitherdriveway

How interesting that OP alone is responsible for stopping scammers.

Of course not. But people have a responsibility not to enable crooks.

@Crystal90567

God god the cynicism on here. I hope you lot are never truly in need. I think trust your instincts and he was truly in need. You should be proud of yourself. Good samaritan x

But she didn’t give him the money because she felt he was in need, she actually said she didn’t think he was genuine She only did it because she was intimidated

Responsibility to who Purple?

@Butwasitherdriveway

Responsibility to who Purple?

Everyone.

Not quite the same but I use to work at a big university and got the bus to and from work everyday , right at the start of term a guy got on the bus and asked a ( packed ) bus full if anyone could give him £10 because he had just been mugged at the cash point , I saw hem several times , after about the third time I said it if he is getting mugged everyday he really should go to the police and stop using that particular cash point

I've posted on here before on a kindness of strangers thread. One of the best things I ever did was give £10 to a young man on a (empty) motorbike who was desperate in a petrol station and miles from home. People had been shunning him for about an hour and he was stranded, no charge in phone and miles from home. I feel very warm about it.

Blatantly a scam! He could have just given his details to the petrol station attendant and got a small amount of petrol, on the understanding of paying within 24 hours. (I have had to do this and never been refused. They have your reg number on camera after all). Bit of luck that his motorbike ran out of petrol exactly as he was pulling into the petrol station. £10 would be enough for at least 150 miles on a motorcycle. He really must have been a long way from.home.

My brother in law used to do this to people. Got money quite often.
Sorry this happened to you op. I would call the non emergency police number. Glad you got home safe.

This happened to my husband on the night before our wedding. Someone knocked on the door saying they need money for petrol etc etc. Husband gave them £20.

Day after the wedding same guy approached BIL (who was visiting), with the same story.

Classic Boo Hoo Billy

It's a trick as old as time. Chances are you will encounter him again. And his dad will be in the ambulance still.

@PurpleDaisies but OP is not responsible for everyone.

That is victim blaming.

This was a fairly regular occurrence at the car park I used to park at for work. A sob story about how they needed £20 to urgently get somewhere. I got approached by the same person on several different days with the same story. 100% scam.

[quote Butwasitherdriveway]@PurpleDaisies but OP is not responsible for everyone.

That is victim blaming.[/quote]
I wasn’t talking about the op-she sounded intimidated and wanted to get away from a scary situation.

I am am talking about the virtue signallers who say they would rather waste money on a con artist than let a genuine person go without as if that’s a good thing to do. It isn’t,

@alliejay81

I was leaving the supermarket 30 minutes ago when I was approached by a man. He told me he had been following his Dad - who was in an ambulance having had a heart attack - when he ran out of petrol. We went round the houses a bit, the story didn't entirely make sense, but it became clear he didn't have any cash or cards on him. He then started asking where I lived before asking if he could borrow some cash. In the end, I gave him £20, for two reasons: 1) if he was genuine (and I wasn't convinced he was) then I'd helped him out 2) he was quite a big burly bloke and the car park was quiet and I felt a little intimidated

I came home and DH and his mate (in the garden, covid compliant) think I was definitely conned and should phone the non-emergency police line.

Was I being unreasonable to give him £20 and would I be unreasonable not to call the non-emergency police line (I just want to move on)?

If he was genuine he would have pulled into a petrol station, filled up with fuel, then told the staff he forgot his wallet.

They would take his registration and details and he would have 24 hours to contact them with payment.

Used often around my way I'm afraid.

There's a woman near my local station most mornings who's been trying to scrape up cab fare to see her daughter who's just given birth in a nearby hospital for about 6 years

It sounds like a scam and no I would not engage with any stranger approaching me asking for money and would just walk away. Most of the time I don't carry cash anyway. A sad reflection of the times but strangers approaching me or unknown telephone numbers usually mean scammers to me.