...to have bought this without telling him?

[herecomesthesundoodoodoodoo]

Partner and I live together, not married. We have a joint account for mortgage and bills, but our wages get paid into our personal accounts and we transfer a proportion of our earnings into the joint account each month.

I am the higher earner, and I'm also a saver, rather than a spender. He spends a lot of his own money on a hobby, and on cigarettes, and doesn't save.

A few days ago, I bought myself a shiny new piece of tech. With extra accessories, it was just over £900. I paid for it myself, out of my savings. He was out doing his hobby when I ordered it, then it just didn't cross my mind to announce that I'd ordered it when he came back.

The parcel arrived this morning and he has got into a proper grump about the fact that I've spent 'so much' money on something just for me, that I didn't discuss the purchase with him and that I've been selfish.

I don't think I've done anything wrong.

AIBU?

Lucky you’ve had the conversation now as at least he knows he has to sort something out .

He also said that he doesn't understand how I can save as much as I am, while also paying 2/3 of the household expenses, like he can't fathom why he isn't able to do that when he's paying less.

Have you pointed out that it might just have something to do with not spending masses on cigarettes and a hobby? What is his response?

@YoniAndGuy, maybe I'm being too naive, but I really hope he hasn't been quite so calculating. He isn't a planner. Any plans for marriage have been postponed- I told him that I want finances to be organised before we take the step of getting married.

@Nith, yes, whenever he's mentioned his surprise at my savings/ ability to save, I've told him to tot up how much he's spent on fags and the hobby. In the past, he's made a big deal of cutting down the smoking whenever I've mentioned the cost, but it never lasts.

The sad irony is that if he doesn't give up smoking (and it may be too late) he's likely to have a fairly short retirement.