AIBU to feel awkward at this type of joke?

[Gullible2021]

I’m an MNer, just namechanged (Sistine screamer, softzilla, snapped and farted).

Is it just me who ends up feeling a bit embarrassed and never knows how I’m supposed to react when I’m joked with in the following manner?

I placed an food order today at a local independent food bar via an app. I received a message saying it would be ready at x time.

I arrived, there were about 5 staff there and I think one customer (he was standing around in front of the counter chatting with staff). I said “hello, I’ve come to pick up my order, please. It’s for Jane.”

Dead pan, one of the staff said in quite a haughty tone;

“Yeah, that won’t actually be ready for collection for another 45 minutes to an hour I’m afraid.”

I was quite confused, I’d travelled a fair distance and it would be out of my way to come back, and I got my phone out to check I hadn’t made a mistake. I said,

“I’m really sorry...the app said to come at this time. Just give me a sec, I can show you.”

And he was just staring at me and there was an awkward silence. Then the man I think was a customer said,

“Look love, I know his sense of humour, he’s having you on!”

I looked back up and the man who worked there who made the “joke” wordlessly handed me my meal. It had been right next to him behind the counter the whole time. The other people present laughed. I felt really stupid. A couple of people said “haha your face was a picture” type comments. I kind of wanted the ground to swallow me up. Only one (female perhaps unsurprisingly!) member of staff said “that was weird, what is he like?”

It was only when I got in my car I realised that really it wasn’t actually funny, joke or not and surely the purpose of that kind of joke is just to embarrass the customer rather than actually involve them in something that’s genuinely fun?

I’ve also experienced similar when ordering in restaurants etc

“Please can I have the tomato soup to start with?”

“I’m really sorry we don’t have any.”

“Ok, I’ll have the halloumi then.”

“No halloumi either!”

“Oh...right...erm I’ll just go straight to the main...”

“Haha I’m only joking!!! What is it you want soup or halloumi? Your face was hilarious there!”

And even with friends I’ve have similar experiences through the years. Am I just really humourless or easily embarrassed, or is it actually just about taking the piss out of someone and laughing at their expense?

That type of stupidity would give me the rage and boy would my face show it.

There is absolutely no humour involved.

My inner dialogue would be "you fxxking idiot".

Practice a dead eyed scowl face OP in the mirror.

Very effective.

God gifted me with one and it has served me very well when someone fxxking annoys me.🤣

Yes. I once filled my car up with petrol, went into the garage to pay and said to the guy “pump 4 please” and he said “£40 of diesel?” No, petrol.
No you’ve filled up with diesel. Cue a panic where i started to leave the shop to go and check. Was filled with absolute dread. Before he burst out laughing and said “I got you!!”
I was fuming. I emailed head office and got a call from the area manager. Wasn’t funny in the slightest!

@Wife2b

God some of you lot are so touchy and miserable. It wasn’t the greatest joke in the world but meh, we all have different senses of humour. I would of laughed when I realised he was having me on.

Do you laugh at Mrs Brown's Boys too?

I'm really surprised by the reactions to/comments on this type of joke. It's happened to me lots but the joke has never went on that long, literally half a beat, before the other person has broke into a smile. It's never been unkind.

I do agree it's not particularly funny though, I usually just roll my eyes!

Do you laugh at Mrs Brown's Boys too?
😂

The only time I have ever done anything remotely like this ha sbeen with people I know and when it's obvious that it is a joke.
So, for example, I was at work and someone would come past at 3pm to put something in my in-tray. I'd say, "Oh, we have a new filing system, you need to put any work over there." but I would point to the bin.
I didn't say or do things to humiliate people.

I hate this type of 'joke'. It's not funny and designed to put you down. I just give them a hard stare and they either crumble and start apologising like mad or they start with the 'don't you have a sense of humour' type line. Arseholes.

Never found this ‘humour’ funny either. My
Dad is quite guiltily of it and it can be impossible to tell whether he’s joking or not, he tends to drag the ‘joke’ out for hours as well. It isn’t very funny.

I find these jokes tedious and awkward more than anything. I don’t do fake laughs so I just end up saying “ok” or “hilarious” with a straight face.

@Phineyj

Mostly men do this to women in my experience. It's a way of asserting power.

This. YANBU OP.

An uncle used to do this when I was a teen and then take the piss about my inability to take a ‘joke’ or see when he’s joking.

I learnt then never to believe what he said and still to this day (even though I hardly see him)

Some of these tales are really awful. There are some absolute twats about.

I’ve left a one star review and factual account of the twattish behaviour.

Also can’t stand Mrs Brown’s Boys...lowest denominator sort of entertainment.

I never get this kind of nonsense from people I know. Maybe it's because they already know I won't get it, and will just remain confused until I have sincerely confirmed it wasn't true and double checked the correct answer? I have worked in very casual bantersome environments and I don't remember ever being the target of this sort of thing there. It's only ever strangers - waiters, taxi drivers and the like.

If the alleged "problem" is that I am "too serious"... well, sorry, but the possibility that they have made a mistake with my order or that I am on the wrong bus is going to ensure I remain leadenly serious about the whole thing until it is clarified to my satisfaction.

@Plumedenom

Nex time you reply "ohhh... You were joking...I see now....you're a dickhead!Thanks for letting me know so I never come back!"

Perfect @Plumedenom 😁

I think “ooooh I get it, you’re a dickhead”

Will work for any of these ‘jokes’ got this in my back pocket now 👍🏻

Ooos that was meant to be a 😃

It's the bloody gaslighting that goes with this sort of shit, that gets me

"Can't you take a joke?"

No, you wanker, you're the joke! And yes it's always men. It's showing women that they've got the power and the upper hand by humiliating us.

Well done you for leaving a bad review. This sort of crap needs calling out but it's hard to do it at the time because you are generally a bit destabilised by it.

My BIL does this sort of crap with my teenage daughters and they hate him for it. I always say something to him when he does it and now my DDs are older they do too. But they shouldn't have to.
He makes himself look like an utter knob being told "that's not funny it's mean" by a eye rolling teenager.

I hate ‘jokes’ like these, people who can only find humour in making other people hurt/mortified etc are really low. I haven't experienced it first hand a lot, but the couple times I did I just deadpanned and stared back. If I was really ballsy I’d love to fake tears and a hysterical freaking out, that would make them absolutely panic and shit themselves! They want to look like the wit, not the jerk who made someone cry.

(PS Now wondering if crying to make them regret their joke is me being low... )

@daisychain01

It's the bloody gaslighting that goes with this sort of shit, that gets me

"Can't you take a joke?"

No, you wanker, you're the joke! And yes it's always men. It's showing women that they've got the power and the upper hand by humiliating us.

I just mildly, blankly and seriously say, "No." No fussing, fake laughing, getting cross, insisting I do have a sense of humour and can definitely take a joke ha ha ha. Just a disarmingly sincere, "No."

"Oh I see, you think confusing and embarrassing someone is funny. There's a word for people like you, and it ain't 'comedian' "

Is going to be my comeback if thos ever happens to be again.

I had to deal with someone like this in a previous job, and I took to saying "Oh ha ha ha that is very funny" in a robotic, monotone voice to him. That worked too.

I always thought it was just a bad attempt at flirting (don’t get it so much now I’m older) and felt a bit sorry for them.

*if this ever happens to me again.

Apologies for the fat-fingered typing

@Bluntness100

Actually I agree with you on this, it’s like you’re not in on the joke. I was coming back from a work trip once, fell fast asleep on the Eurostar, one of the staff woke me when we reached London, and I woke with a fright and said oh are we in London, and he said no madam, we are in Paris, with a totally straight face, I actually panicked for a moment, and was looking around me, before he said, only kidding, yes we are in London. I honestly didn’t find it remotely funny.

Agree with OP.

That ones a little funny though tee hee

I had this recently in our local market, buying a couple of small plants from a stall. "That will be £100' 'What?' "£100".

Said with zero smile to me, I was bemused, he finally said the correct price. It's his stall, baffled why he would want to piss off customers, he didn't even seem amused by his own banter. Lost a future customer, anyway.

A couple of my work colleagues do this type of thing all the time and I don't think it's remotely funny ie saying "no, you can't take a half day" when no one else is off or pretending they got less Xmas bonus than me to see if I'd say anything (they knew we all got the same amount). Basically just trying to make me look stupid. It's incredibly tiresome. I normally just stare them out with my own deadpan expression or raise an eyebrow. I think the way that guy acted towards you was very unprofessional. I would never behave like that towards a customer.