AIBU to feel awkward at this type of joke?

[Gullible2021]

I’m an MNer, just namechanged (Sistine screamer, softzilla, snapped and farted).

Is it just me who ends up feeling a bit embarrassed and never knows how I’m supposed to react when I’m joked with in the following manner?

I placed an food order today at a local independent food bar via an app. I received a message saying it would be ready at x time.

I arrived, there were about 5 staff there and I think one customer (he was standing around in front of the counter chatting with staff). I said “hello, I’ve come to pick up my order, please. It’s for Jane.”

Dead pan, one of the staff said in quite a haughty tone;

“Yeah, that won’t actually be ready for collection for another 45 minutes to an hour I’m afraid.”

I was quite confused, I’d travelled a fair distance and it would be out of my way to come back, and I got my phone out to check I hadn’t made a mistake. I said,

“I’m really sorry...the app said to come at this time. Just give me a sec, I can show you.”

And he was just staring at me and there was an awkward silence. Then the man I think was a customer said,

“Look love, I know his sense of humour, he’s having you on!”

I looked back up and the man who worked there who made the “joke” wordlessly handed me my meal. It had been right next to him behind the counter the whole time. The other people present laughed. I felt really stupid. A couple of people said “haha your face was a picture” type comments. I kind of wanted the ground to swallow me up. Only one (female perhaps unsurprisingly!) member of staff said “that was weird, what is he like?”

It was only when I got in my car I realised that really it wasn’t actually funny, joke or not and surely the purpose of that kind of joke is just to embarrass the customer rather than actually involve them in something that’s genuinely fun?

I’ve also experienced similar when ordering in restaurants etc

“Please can I have the tomato soup to start with?”

“I’m really sorry we don’t have any.”

“Ok, I’ll have the halloumi then.”

“No halloumi either!”

“Oh...right...erm I’ll just go straight to the main...”

“Haha I’m only joking!!! What is it you want soup or halloumi? Your face was hilarious there!”

And even with friends I’ve have similar experiences through the years. Am I just really humourless or easily embarrassed, or is it actually just about taking the piss out of someone and laughing at their expense?

@NameChangedForThisFeb21 *
I once had that in Aldi... “ay ay what are all these batteries for? Someone’s going to have a fun weekend.” With a wink.*

I am grateful that something like that would have gone over my head in the moment, so he would have had an earnest reply along the lines of, "Yes, it's my son's birthday and it's so frustrating when you realise batteries aren't included. We've bought him a new electric train set with six little trains that go by themselves and a proper signal control system with working points and everything, so I thought we'd better stock up in advance to avoid disappointment on the day" or "No, all of our smoke alarms seem to have run out at once, and I thought I'd better check all the torches while I was at it - better safe than sorry".

Then I'd be at home telling my husband about the nice chatty man in Aldi and it would suddenly clunk into place hours later.

[quote PerspicaciousGreen]**@NameChangedForThisFeb21*
I once had that in Aldi... “ay ay what are all these batteries for? Someone’s going to have a fun weekend.” With a wink.*

I am grateful that something like that would have gone over my head in the moment, so he would have had an earnest reply along the lines of, "Yes, it's my son's birthday and it's so frustrating when you realise batteries aren't included. We've bought him a new electric train set with six little trains that go by themselves and a proper signal control system with working points and everything, so I thought we'd better stock up in advance to avoid disappointment on the day" or "No, all of our smoke alarms seem to have run out at once, and I thought I'd better check all the torches while I was at it - better safe than sorry".

Then I'd be at home telling my husband about the nice chatty man in Aldi and it would suddenly clunk into place hours later.[/quote]
I was actually really young at the time, 19 or 20, and didn’t get the joke. I said that they were for some toys at the preschool I was doing a college placement at. So he decided to make it obvious, “not toys for adults then?”. And I still didn’t get it and just must have looked confused and said no. Then on the way out he said something like “have a nice weekend then, wear yourself out!” and an older woman shook her head, looked disgusted and the penny finally dropped. He must have been about 50, it was around the time Sex in the City was really popular and there were some storylines about vibrators. Guess he thought I was fair game. Creep.

I’m actually just going to stop buying batteries in person - it seems to always encourage twattish comments for some reason with me. I had an upsetting experience buying batteries in December in a DIY shop with a woman serving me saying “oooohhhhhh someone is stocking up for her kiddies on Christmas morning!!! What have you got them?”

“Nothing. I’m childless, sadly. I’ve had a powercut at home. These are for some emergency torches so I can see until the lights go back on.” Unfortunately, Covid has probably been the nail in the coffin for me ever having biological kids and last Christmas was especially hard. Wouldn’t it be nice to just go into a shop, buy what you need and not have to deal with all the extra comments?

@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Unfortunately, Covid has probably been the nail in the coffin for me ever having biological kids

I just wanted to duck in and say me too, it’s stripped away a year of treatment for me and I actually think it’s too late now. Just to say you’re not alone

[quote Weeedonkey]@NameChangedForThisFeb21

Unfortunately, Covid has probably been the nail in the coffin for me ever having biological kids

I just wanted to duck in and say me too, it’s stripped away a year of treatment for me and I actually think it’s too late now. Just to say you’re not alone [/quote]
Thank you and I’m very sorry to hear that, I hope somehow it won’t be too late and there will be a beautiful outcome for both you and I

YetGo's story reminded me of another truly awful "twat on a power trip" story.
I taught at a school with a women's refuge in the catchment area, so children coming in had suffered all sorts of unkindnesses, and sometimes, as their mothers grew to trust us and confide, we heard some heartbreaking tales.
One little lad suffered from alopecia, and apparently this was stress related. Mum had taken on a new partner, who seemed nice at first. Christmas was close, and exciting parcels appeared under the tree, with remarks about lovely presents to come. Turned out the boxes were empty and this was a joke.
The only positive thing I can say is, this was the last straw and Mum got away, for her children's sake if not her own.
I was a fairly naive 20-something at the time, and my own experience of having been raised in a normal loving family left me ill-prepared for such nastiness, but I still cannot see how anybody could make themselves feel better in some way by "bringing someone down a peg or two" like this.

I wonder how long it will be until this type of behaviour is seen as totally unacceptable.

We have a family member who pulled this crap on my oldest dc who was 3 at the time. And who we were beginning to realise is autistic. We left. We haven't seen them since. Their loss.

I’ve just had this done to me today. At a big store where the guy asked whether I wanted to make a donation to a children’s hospital (I hate being ambushed at checkouts!). I said £2 and he repeated back ‘£200?’ You can see where this is going. I repeated £2 and he did the whole ‘ha ha ha, your face, works every time’ shit. 🙄🙄🙄

I would have ended his attempt at comedy by telling him to hand over my fucking food!

It was half way through the transaction unfortunately and I had to stand there waiting, ugh. Knowing I could come and post it here was a small consolation! He was the packer and another man was scanning. I have a feeling the man scanning will hear the ‘joke’ another 100 times today. He’s definitely not saying it to men though.

I feel embarrassed by the cringe when people do this. They just remind me of David Brent.

I fucking hate this sort of “joke”. Not funny at all. I also think it’s about men trying to assert some kind of power over women.

I hate this sort of humour with a passion.

Always older, bullying guys who have an air of aggression about them. Not funny.

@Phineyj

Mostly men do this to women in my experience. It's a way of asserting power.

This. It’s deliberate humiliation. They should be treating customers with respect.