AIBU to feel awkward at this type of joke?

[Gullible2021]

I’m an MNer, just namechanged (Sistine screamer, softzilla, snapped and farted).

Is it just me who ends up feeling a bit embarrassed and never knows how I’m supposed to react when I’m joked with in the following manner?

I placed an food order today at a local independent food bar via an app. I received a message saying it would be ready at x time.

I arrived, there were about 5 staff there and I think one customer (he was standing around in front of the counter chatting with staff). I said “hello, I’ve come to pick up my order, please. It’s for Jane.”

Dead pan, one of the staff said in quite a haughty tone;

“Yeah, that won’t actually be ready for collection for another 45 minutes to an hour I’m afraid.”

I was quite confused, I’d travelled a fair distance and it would be out of my way to come back, and I got my phone out to check I hadn’t made a mistake. I said,

“I’m really sorry...the app said to come at this time. Just give me a sec, I can show you.”

And he was just staring at me and there was an awkward silence. Then the man I think was a customer said,

“Look love, I know his sense of humour, he’s having you on!”

I looked back up and the man who worked there who made the “joke” wordlessly handed me my meal. It had been right next to him behind the counter the whole time. The other people present laughed. I felt really stupid. A couple of people said “haha your face was a picture” type comments. I kind of wanted the ground to swallow me up. Only one (female perhaps unsurprisingly!) member of staff said “that was weird, what is he like?”

It was only when I got in my car I realised that really it wasn’t actually funny, joke or not and surely the purpose of that kind of joke is just to embarrass the customer rather than actually involve them in something that’s genuinely fun?

I’ve also experienced similar when ordering in restaurants etc

“Please can I have the tomato soup to start with?”

“I’m really sorry we don’t have any.”

“Ok, I’ll have the halloumi then.”

“No halloumi either!”

“Oh...right...erm I’ll just go straight to the main...”

“Haha I’m only joking!!! What is it you want soup or halloumi? Your face was hilarious there!”

And even with friends I’ve have similar experiences through the years. Am I just really humourless or easily embarrassed, or is it actually just about taking the piss out of someone and laughing at their expense?

I bloody hate people who do this kind of twattish thing. It’s not funny, they are not joking, they are deliberately trying to humiliate you.
Don’t ever order from them again.

You: “oh... right Cool joke” aaaand walk out the door

I had this once when I asked for a VAT receipt in Pret.

Them: “Sorry, we can’t do those.”

Me: “Right, well I need one for expenses.”

Them:

Me:

Them: “Haha, only joking!”

Me: “Right... good one. I’m in a rush.”

I’d usually say it’s not worth complaining about, but if it’s put you off from going back then I probably would email the manager about it. I’d want to know if that was my business.

@MissyB1

I bloody hate people who do this kind of twattish thing. It’s not funny, they are not joking, they are deliberately trying to humiliate you. Don’t ever order from them again.

Have to admit that was my inner monologue...

“Wow. What a twat.”

@AtLeastThreeDrinks

I had this once when I asked for a VAT receipt in Pret.

Them: “Sorry, we can’t do those.”

Me: “Right, well I need one for expenses.”

Them:

Me:

Them: “Haha, only joking!”

Me: “Right... good one. I’m in a rush.”

I’d usually say it’s not worth complaining about, but if it’s put you off from going back then I probably would email the manager about it. I’d want to know if that was my business.

I’d genuinely love it if someone who makes these kind of jokes could post and say why and what they get out of it.

What a stupid response to you. Waste of your time. Not funny!

Not funny and given that you were both a complete stranger and a customer, totally inappropriate. If he had known you well, maybe (though even then it wouldn't have been funny), but in this situation absolutely not.

That is really unkind. You should go on twitter/facebook and name the takeaway and server. Tell that they said your takeaway is late and the app is faulty. I am sure the management wouldn't like this 'joke' as it puts customers off. Anymore, let them think you 'believe' the first version, don't listen to the 'joke', and report to mgt.

When I was a teenager working in a shop, colleagues said the manager wanted to see me. When I started going to the office they said 'joke'. I didn't believe them, and told the manager what happened. The same happenes in my 30s where colleagues said to wait for a call from the owner. I rang rhe owner and said X told me to ring. Then I told X exactly what happened. The owner got a nice person from another store to see if I was being bullied and asked if I was ok.

I hate pranks. They are always at the expense of someone.

In my experience it’s generally men that do this shit. It’s not funny.

Hate when men do this. And it usually is men isn’t it, doing it to women?! They rarely do it to other men.

It’s painfully unfunny at best and pretty rude shitty customer service at best. I wouldn’t be going back.

At worst!

I've had similar in the coop.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where the double cream is?"

"We don't sell it. We used to but we don't stock it anymore"

"Oh....ok. Thanks, I'll try somewhere else"

"Ha ha. Only joking love, it's up the next aisle on the right"

I just stood there staring at him. Trying to work out what on Earth was funny about that.

It's very often men making these shit jokes. And I bet they wouldn't do it to other men

'Hope the food is better than your jokes.....'

That guy sounds like an absolute twat.

just put

"The food brings the regulars back, because the staff make jokes at the expense of the customers"

On every review site that you can find.

or any variation of this.

Actually I agree with you on this, it’s like you’re not in on the joke. I was coming back from a work trip once, fell fast asleep on the Eurostar, one of the staff woke me when we reached London, and I woke with a fright and said oh are we in London, and he said no madam, we are in Paris, with a totally straight face, I actually panicked for a moment, and was looking around me, before he said, only kidding, yes we are in London. I honestly didn’t find it remotely funny.

Ring up order more food and keep saying slightly the wrong credit card number. After the fourth or fifth attempt declare “Only joking, I don’t want any food at all” followed by “Not so amusing now is it?”

I have a every good withering look that comes in useful in these situations. Hold it long enough that they feel awkward then shake your head, sigh and wander off.

Works every time.

Always the dimmest people, almost always male.

It isn’t funny; it’s deliberately discomforting.
A bored “Stick to the day job” is fully in order.

I do like Rita’s suggestion! I wouldn’t want to cross her, she’s an evil genius.

Thanks to those who’ve given some suggestions as to how to deal with things like this if they crop up in the future. I’ll remember them!

I have a feeling that the man who intervened and said “I know this guy’s humour” and the woman staff member who spoke and said it was weird maybe said something to him about it not being funny and potentially embarrassing when I walked out. It really wasn’t all that funny and I think those two picked up on that fact I was left feeling embarrassed.

And yes it’s almost always men! I can only think of two women who ever have joked with me like this and they both had a horrible sense of humour...never used people’s names, it was always “oi dickhead!” “ya daft wanker” and was always supposed to be “a term of endearment” .

I'm like you, OP, I tend to believe what people say and not understand how saying something factually incorrect is supposed to be funny. I make a conscious choice to, in general, assume people are telling the truth and take them at their word. O know I might be tricked or something, but that's a risk I'm willing to take to not turn myself into a cynical old prune. I think I'm happier being a bit nice-but-dim than being a misanthropist who at least never gets taken for the tiniest ride. I used to be furious at being taken for gullible at school. Now I'm happier to be less prickly and occasionally look a bit silly.

When this has happened to me, I have let my genuine bemusement show. "Oh right, it's just you said it would be an hour, so you're saying you made a mistake? A joke? Sorry, I must have misheard the punchline. Can I take my food then? Alright, thanks so much, sorry you got mixed up." Labour the point as much as you please, remain polite but bemused. Takes the wind out of their sails if you are neither laughing nor angry nor embarrassed. And you get to go home feeling nothing more than bemused.

Totally unfunny. YANBU.

@EdithGrantham

Best thing is to ask them to explain the joke "Sorry, I don't get it?" They explain it was just a joke etc "I still don't get it, which part am I meant to laugh at?"

I like the above response: asking him to explain the joke puts it back on him.

I would email the manager and complain about this idiots childish behaviour.

You were there to carry out a transaction, his 'joke' was completely inappropriate and unfunny; perhaps he needs that fact pointed out to him by his employers.

Sounds like the others were trying to help you out. The guy sounds like a right twat. It’s such a power trip trying to make you stressed like that. And then pretending it’s a joke so you feel obliged to laugh along.

They wouldn't get any more custom from me. Inappropriate and adolescent behaviour at best.