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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel awkward at this type of joke?

289 replies

Gullible2021 · 30/04/2021 17:47

I’m an MNer, just namechanged (Sistine screamer, softzilla, snapped and farted).

Is it just me who ends up feeling a bit embarrassed and never knows how I’m supposed to react when I’m joked with in the following manner?

I placed an food order today at a local independent food bar via an app. I received a message saying it would be ready at x time.

I arrived, there were about 5 staff there and I think one customer (he was standing around in front of the counter chatting with staff). I said “hello, I’ve come to pick up my order, please. It’s for Jane.”

Dead pan, one of the staff said in quite a haughty tone;

“Yeah, that won’t actually be ready for collection for another 45 minutes to an hour I’m afraid.”

I was quite confused, I’d travelled a fair distance and it would be out of my way to come back, and I got my phone out to check I hadn’t made a mistake. I said,

“I’m really sorry...the app said to come at this time. Just give me a sec, I can show you.”

And he was just staring at me and there was an awkward silence. Then the man I think was a customer said,

“Look love, I know his sense of humour, he’s having you on!”

I looked back up and the man who worked there who made the “joke” wordlessly handed me my meal. It had been right next to him behind the counter the whole time. The other people present laughed. I felt really stupid. A couple of people said “haha your face was a picture” type comments. I kind of wanted the ground to swallow me up. Only one (female perhaps unsurprisingly!) member of staff said “that was weird, what is he like?”

It was only when I got in my car I realised that really it wasn’t actually funny, joke or not and surely the purpose of that kind of joke is just to embarrass the customer rather than actually involve them in something that’s genuinely fun?

I’ve also experienced similar when ordering in restaurants etc

“Please can I have the tomato soup to start with?”

“I’m really sorry we don’t have any.”

“Ok, I’ll have the halloumi then.”

“No halloumi either!”

“Oh...right...erm I’ll just go straight to the main...”

“Haha I’m only joking!!! What is it you want soup or halloumi? Your face was hilarious there!”

And even with friends I’ve have similar experiences through the years. Am I just really humourless or easily embarrassed, or is it actually just about taking the piss out of someone and laughing at their expense?

OP posts:
JackieWeaversZoomAc · 30/04/2021 17:51

as I teach my kids, its not a joke if only one person is laughing.

He was a dickhead having a good laugh at the expense of your confusion and trust. you aren't humourless - its really not funny.

Next time get your meal elsewhere - there are so many places.

JackieWeaversZoomAc · 30/04/2021 17:52

and you can't even "joke back" "oh fuck it then, I'll leave it" as you've no doubt already paid!

WaltzesWithSnobs · 30/04/2021 17:52

I've never experienced this. If I witnessed it, I would think the person making the 'joke' to be a knob. Wouldn't think anything negative about the target of their attempt at humour.

SunsetBeetch · 30/04/2021 17:54

Nah, none of those are funny in the slightest.

Gullible2021 · 30/04/2021 17:54

Next time get your meal elsewhere - there are so many places.

Thank you. Yes, it’s put me off ever going back there again. It’s so small it’s likely to be the same staff and I felt really red faced. I was bullied at school and even though I’m in my 30s I felt like I was back at school being taken the piss out of and everyone standing laughing at my face.

OP posts:
BramStoker · 30/04/2021 17:55

YANBU I hate that kind of 'hunour' too

Phineyj · 30/04/2021 17:55

Mostly men do this to women in my experience. It's a way of asserting power.

thistimelastweek · 30/04/2021 17:55

Some folks need reminding that jokes are meant to be funny.

MustBeTheWine · 30/04/2021 17:57

That would put me off every ordering there again. I wouldn't have found it very funny either OP

Wishihadanalgorithm · 30/04/2021 17:58

I would just have muttered “Weirdo” in a voice loud enough for the ‘joker’ to hear and left. What a twat!

Wishimaywishimight · 30/04/2021 17:58

I would tend to say "hilarious, don''t give up the day job" whenever someone makes such a feeble 'joke'.

TeenMinusTests · 30/04/2021 17:59

We won tickets via MN to see a circus. (Thank you MN).
We looked saw where it was meant to be and turned up.
No sign anywhere, it had been moved for some reason.
An hour driving around trying to find it, eventually did, stressed with 2 youngish children.
Exchanged voucher for tickets.
To the tent.
Only for the person on the door to say 'oh these are for this evening'.
I exploded inside was relatively constrained but showed my clear frustration.
Apparently it was a joke. Hmm

altlife · 30/04/2021 17:59

No, it's tedious and annoying

tigger1001 · 30/04/2021 18:00

These aren't funny. I'm sorry you had this experience op. That's just people being wankers.

Personally I would be tempted to email and tell management of the experience as no doubt that kind of behaviour will cost business and in current times I would guess that's not what they would want to happen

DinosaurDiana · 30/04/2021 18:01

Very tedious, they’d know by my face what I thought.

ZombeaArthur · 30/04/2021 18:01

I hate things like this, it’s not remotely funny, you can’t participate in the joke at all, so it’s entirely at your expense and it also makes the transaction even longer. Mostly it’s unprofessional and makes the customer feel uncomfortable which I’m sure whoever owns the company wouldn’t be at all happy with.

Jumpers268 · 30/04/2021 18:02

It's not even funny! What a dick. I definitely wouldn't go back!

Bobishere · 30/04/2021 18:02

Not just you. I'd have hated that and wouldn't be returning.
Try not to think on it, and feel sorry for those people who feel they have to get their kicks at someone else's expense.

FourTeaFallOut · 30/04/2021 18:02

I have never had this kind of shit or, if I have, it wasn't significant enough to remember it.

But you don't owe anyone an audience to their failed attempt at comedy. Just practice your Hmm face and hold it silently until they either have the good grace to apologise or start a proper fight like a grown up

XenoBitch · 30/04/2021 18:03

There was a "joke", and you were the butt of it. Not funny at all. YANBU

Gullible2021 · 30/04/2021 18:03

I’m relieved it’s not just me.
I think what makes it worse is that I work with a lot of children and young adults with additional needs (SEN school) and I’ve seen the crest fallen look on their face when someone makes a joke they just don’t get and it breaks my heart for them. It wasn’t nice to be put in that situation and I know if it was one of the autistic kids I work with they would have felt especially confused and embarrassed.

OP posts:
EdithGrantham · 30/04/2021 18:03

Best thing is to ask them to explain the joke "Sorry, I don't get it?" They explain it was just a joke etc "I still don't get it, which part am I meant to laugh at?"

SwanShaped · 30/04/2021 18:04

Not funny. It’s boring. Him trying to laugh at you being confused isn’t funny. Maybe you need some stock come backs like ‘don’t give up the day job’ or something

MyOctopusFeature · 30/04/2021 18:04

Just say " I knew there was a reason you are taking my food order tonight rather than appearing at the London Palladium".

SwanShaped · 30/04/2021 18:04

Edith’s response is much better.

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