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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think referring to your partner as your fiancé is a bit naff?

187 replies

RosieGuacamosie · 30/04/2021 14:26

Lighthearted Grin

I have no idea why I find this irritating 😂 I suppose I just find it a bit naff when people refer to their boyfriend/girlfriend as fiancé in general conversation as in “oh my fiancé is a teacher too”. The majority of people I know say boyfriend/girlfriend/partner until they actually married.

Is it a bit cringe or am I a miserable bitch?

OP posts:
ShoppingPrecinctPrincess · 30/04/2021 17:06

'Anne Shirley is a fine sensible name. Certainly not one to be ashamed of'

Grin

May have read it more than once over the years...

Mehoooole · 30/04/2021 17:07

I agree with you. I have never used the word. My boyfriend was my boyfriend until he became my husband.

bluebeck · 30/04/2021 17:11

Not remotely cringe as long as they are actually engaged. Why would it be?

Do you find husband or wife cringe too?

I don't get it Confused

BetterKateThanNever · 30/04/2021 17:15

I hated using 'boyfriend' for my husband because he felt too old to be a boyfriend when we were engaged. But partner sounded too much like 'Howdy Partner'.

Fiance was definitely off the table though- made me feel like a teenager referring to a boy I'd held hands with at breaktime as my soulmate.

KizzyMoo · 30/04/2021 18:22

I say partner I can't say boyfriend it just sounds wrong. I feel too old to have a boyfriend 😆

ShoppingPrecinctPrincess · 30/04/2021 18:25

I know an 85 year old with a 'boyfriend'. Sounds fun and carefree when she says it.

chloeb8 · 30/04/2021 18:27

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

It doesn't bother me at all, its factual.

That said, 'hubby' irritates the shit out of me and I cant stand it when people use it, maybe I'm miserable too op 🤣🤣

“Hubster” is worse 😬😂
GreyhoundG1rl · 30/04/2021 18:29

@ShoppingPrecinctPrincess

I know an 85 year old with a 'boyfriend'. Sounds fun and carefree when she says it.
At 85 it's allowed!
meganorks · 30/04/2021 18:29

I loath 'partner' for some reason. So always called my DH 'boyfriend'. But by that point we had 2 kids so that sounded a bit casual. So when he was 'fiance'. I wasn't mad for it but certainly preferred it to 'partner' or 'boyfriend'. Now he is my husband I feel about 100 whenever I say that!

GintyMcGinty · 30/04/2021 18:36

Back in the day saying 'fiance' made me feel like a proper grown up.

'Boyfriends' are for teenagers.

Flugbusters4 · 30/04/2021 18:37

My bug bear is when couples call each other husband and wife and they are not married!

I've seen this happen a few times - reason being "oh it's like we are married, we have kids a house, we're basically married"

No, no you are not.

GreyhoundG1rl · 30/04/2021 18:40

@Flugbusters4

My bug bear is when couples call each other husband and wife and they are not married!

I've seen this happen a few times - reason being "oh it's like we are married, we have kids a house, we're basically married"

No, no you are not.

Well, that's just daft. I don't think I've ever met anyone who thought they could claim to be married because it just looked from the outside as if they were. Numpties.
SimonJT · 30/04/2021 18:50

I didn’t use fiancé, but I think thats because we decided to get married after having a discussion about it, there wasn’t a proposal from one of us. But I don’t think using fiancé is cringe.

Before we got married I almost exclusively used partner, if someone knew he was my boyfriend they knew who he was so I would just use his name.

GreyhoundG1rl · 30/04/2021 18:52

they knew who he was so I would just use his name
It's as simple as this, really. People don't become your nameless appendage when you hook up.

amusedbush · 30/04/2021 18:56

I was glad when we got married because I’d never known what to call him. It felt naff to call him my boyfriend as an adult, partner felt too formal and weirdly I felt like I was somehow bragging when I used fiancé Blush

Whiskeywithwater · 30/04/2021 19:15

I’m late 40’s and DP is my fiancé .. but I also find it a bit cringe. Have been together for nearly 30 years (unlikely to ever actually get married as neither of us really bothered) .. also as someone else has said feel too old for ‘boyfriend’ so generally just say husband (NEVER hubby) as it’s just easier ...

miltonj · 30/04/2021 19:18

I hate partner and I honestly could never bring myself to refer to him as my fiancé and yes I find it a bit lame when people use it too.

He's my boyfriend until we're married later this year when I will call him my husband.

I also hate it when people say 'my person' but I couldn't tell you for why!

Rookw · 30/04/2021 19:20

Never liked saying it myself, but don’t care if anyone else does

Original poster
RosieGuacamosie · 30/04/2021 20:10

Maybe I’m swayed because the people I know who use this phrase are also the other half/hubby/holibobs brigade who think engaged is a “thing” despite having no intention of booking a wedding!

OP posts:
HoboSexualOnslow · 30/04/2021 20:13

I hate it, much prefer partner. It just sounds awfully twee imo

OhRene · 30/04/2021 20:32

Fiancé is someone who you are in a long term relationship with and engaged to be married to.

Boyfriend is casual, short term, and makes me feel like I'm a teen or just starting out in the world.
I hated calling my children's father a "boyfriend" when we still weren't engaged after a decade together. (Thanks to married MIL for insisting to my now DH that "it's just a piece of paper!" whenever she could!")

Partner makes me think of same sex partner or business arrangement.

2021healthissues · 30/04/2021 20:42

I think the term partner gets thrown around a lot

At least fiancé is accurate in the situation you describe

A guy on my FB was posting photos of his partner today…it’s their 2 week anniversary!

Iwantafuckingbreak · 30/04/2021 20:45

I hate it 🤣 never used the word fiancé. Feel weird calling him my boyfriend because we've been together ages and have kids, so I just say partner.

doadeer · 30/04/2021 20:46

Those who hate partner, what do you call someone if they've been together 10 years plus etc but not married? Surely not boyfriend?

mustlovegin · 30/04/2021 20:50

Partner is much worse

What would you say instead?

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