To think referring to your partner as your fiancé is a bit naff?

[RosieGuacamosie]

Lighthearted

I have no idea why I find this irritating 😂 I suppose I just find it a bit naff when people refer to their boyfriend/girlfriend as fiancé in general conversation as in “oh my fiancé is a teacher too”. The majority of people I know say boyfriend/girlfriend/partner until they actually married.

Is it a bit cringe or am I a miserable bitch?

I find “partner” to be more grating than “fiancé”.

I'm engaged and have never used the term fiance. I hate it! Tacky! We will be married in a few weeks. Husband is much nicer

I agree OP. I've been with my partner for 6 years, we own a house and have a baby on the way. We probably will get married eventually but no desire to ever call him my fiancé or husband! It feels outdated and I certainly won't be taking his name.

I used to be in a relationship with a woman so partner is a good fits-all solution for me.

Fiancé is the correct term.
However I really hate the phase ‘partner’. What business partner? Partner in crime? Dance? What? Just say boyfriend / girlfriend then we all know what you mean ...!

Partner is worse especially when used on here as half the time their ‘partner’ has only been with them 6 months. You’ll often see a OP saying ‘AIBU to be angry my partner still isn’t interested in marriage or kids’. Loads of people piling on saying ‘leave him he’s wasting your time’ then on their 3rd post they drop they’ve been in a long distance relationship with their ‘partner’ for 6 months.

I agree, I never say fiancée, only boyfriend. My sister laughed at me for it the other day but I think it sounds so cringe to use fiancée in general conversation. And I've got a ring on my finger so anyone that interested could see.

@Dee1975

Fiancé is the correct term. However I really hate the phase ‘partner’. What business partner? Partner in crime? Dance? What? Just say boyfriend / girlfriend then we all know what you mean ...!

On MN it generally means a guy you screwed at least once and now want to move in with and play happy family.

Fiancé sounds pretentious I think, over half for me for general people. People at work know him as The Czech or The Boss, friends family obviously just his name. If I hear people over the age of 20 use BF/GF I do an internal shudder that is far worse than fiancé.

Partner is even worse.

Better than .....bloke I can't shake off....

YANBU, OP. It’s very naff. Always makes me think of this Seinfeld episode:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=xdRxLLS3BGg

I hate this aswell, it makes me cringe. I also hate the term hubby and also when people refer to their SO as "my man"

@IEat

Even worse when they’re not married and refer to partners family as in laws As Marilla Cuthbert in Anne of green gables said I don’t believe in calling people names they’re not ..(something like that when Anne wanted to be called Cordelia )

And the kids as step kids.

I don't like any of the terms! Boyfriend/girlfriend sounds like you're teenagers. Fiance sounds pretentious and like you're just looking for people to congratulate you. Husband/wife sounds so old fashioned and dated. Other half makes you sound codependent, like you're incomplete without them/not a person in your own right.

Tbh I refer to mine by his name and that's it other than on the internet for ease. Everyone I know knows who he is and I don't speak to strangers about my personal life. We'd never call the other's child stepchild or encourage them to call us stepparent even if we got married (not something I want). To me stepmums and stepdads came about because there was a much higher mortality rate so the stepparent would step in to be the mother or father equivalent. It is no longer like that now so no need for the term. They know they have a mum and a dad and an extra person who loves them and treats them like their other children. I think they're much happier than being forced to call someone step mum or dad!

Fiancé/e is enormously cringey as far as I’m concerned. It’s the smuggest way of announcing that yes, you are really, really chuffed that someone has agreed to enter into the patriarchal institution of marriage with you.

Partner is fine. The people don’t like it because it’s associated with homosexuality.

I’m with you OP.

I call my partner his name to people I know but if I’m talking about him to someone who wouldn’t know who I was talking about if I just said ‘Matt’ I’d say, my boyfriend ‘Matt’ (even though we have been engaged for a year now).

I just hate the word fiancé I think it’s just cringe and pretentious and who cares if you’re engaged. He is still a boyfriend until he becomes a husband 🤣

I went for ‘pre-husband’ personally.

It's surprising how many people hate calling their boyfriends fiancés! I definitely prefer it to 'boyfriend' which sounds a bit young.

@MsTSwift

There is something cringey about the word - can’t put my finger on why but there is.

It's smug and pretentious?

The people don’t like it because it’s associated with homosexuality
What utter bullshit. Seriously.

If they are engaged then fiancé is correct.

If they've been engaged 10 years with no planned wedding, then it is cringey.

It's smug and pretentious?
How could it be? What a weird view.

I call mine 'my good friend Cyril', which annoys him a bit as he's called Tom.

@GreyhoundG1rl

It's smug and pretentious? How could it be? What a weird view.

It was a question to that poster, following a series of posts expressing that exact view, which may have aided her state of puzzlement.

I think fiancé is fine as long as there's an actual plan for a wedding in the near future. I don't understand why people say they're engaged yet not marry for years, it's 'engaged to be married', not a state of being.
A friend of mine always refers to 'my fella', they've been together at least 10 years and are marrying shortly, her description hasn't ever changed. Not sure if he'll become husband or stay as fella once they're married!

Just use feye-ans like in Raising Arizona-- problem solved!