Children’s hunger ruining my life

[Hungryhippos123]

NC as I’ve spoken to lots of friends and family about this.

I have two lovely DC 6 and 3. They are both happy lovely children but in the overweight category and have HUGE appetites and this is literally ruining my life. It sounds dramatic but it takes over every day. I’m a physio and my husband runs a business but is an ex-PT. we are both healthy, slim, eat well, exercise. Both kids were normal birthweight, EBF but 99th centile by 6 months and have stayed there since.

I spend huge amounts of time ensuring they have a healthy balanced diet. They eat well, cooking from scratch, loads of veg, enough protein to fill them (in theory). But they are always always hungry. We tried portion control at the recommendation of an nhs dietician for 3 months solid and gave small portions but they cried constantly (every waking moment, didn’t adjust to the new portions, waking in the night hungry etc. We now do the Ellyn Satter method where we have set meal and snack times but they eat their fill of healthy food. But still between these times they constantly moan they are hungry. Now the eldest can tell the time she counts down to the snack and meal times.

Days out are ruined by them wanting the picnic or lunch but 10:30am. When we are with friends I get so embarrassed by the constant requests for food especially as they are overweight. At parties/buffets they want to eat constantly. I allow them the odd ice cream/biscuit/treat and let them to wild at parties as don’t want the single them out and Also don’t want to demonise any food and make it super exciting.

I sought help from my HVs, GPs and dieticians for years. Advice ranges between they are obese you’re a terrible mother stop feeding them rubbish (I wasn’t!), ensure they have correct portions however hungry they are (everyone was miserable), that’s just they way they are (just accept they will be obese?!). They’ve both been tested for thyroid issues/health problems but all clear. They have no other indications of a health issue, no SEN etc.

I speak to family and friends but because they don’t look obese or even overweight as they’re v heavy but strong and muscular they tell me not to worry. Or tell me I’m lucky to have good eaters and try having a fussy/low centile child. I’m so worried about the impact on their lives especially when They’re old enough to buy food or move out as I’m sure they will balloon. I go to sleep hoping they will snap out of this food obsession. I’ve looked into hypnosis etc but they don’t do that for children.

We encourage healthy diet, theyre v active walking, swimming, park lots etc. I never talk about weight, never call them greedy never say fat. We just talk about healthy choices and waiting for meal and snack not grazing.

Honestly I’m at the end of my tether. I’m close to tears every day and cry often when they’re in bed as I worry so much about it. I’m embarrassed, worried for the future and exhausted by the constant effort to stop them eating or whinging. When I’m really bad we have no rule days where I let them eat whatever all day (maybe 3 x a year). They’re so happy, well behaved, calm, chilled on those days. They eat loads but I still generally offer healthy things so it’s not a junk free for all. Part of me thinks screw it ill do this every day as it makes life 100000 x easier and we are happy but realistically I can’t.

Anyone had similar? Please be kind I’m so worried upset and am acutely aware of the risks of obesity in childhood so I don’t need to be told this more.

@LeekPeachPlum

Could you reduce portion sizes a little? Giving them smaller meals & snacks throughout the day. This might stop them feeling so hungry between meals. 1 weetabix is actually an adult portion so 1.5 and banana seems at lot at once for a 3 year.

1 Weetabix is an adult portion? What?? Where did you get that from?!

There are 68 calories in 1 Weetabix.

So less than 5% of a 6 year old's calorific needs. Let alone an adult's.

Please don't post shit like this. It's misinformed at best and dangerous at worst.

I’m pretty sure that I have the only child left on the World that isn’t constantly “starving”. Out of all the mums I know, all of their kids constantly over eat and ask for food.
I’m pretty certain this comes about l, not because I’m a perfect parent but because of my lifestyle.
I’m very un organised so unlike most mums, even when my child was young I’d just leave the house with just a pack of wet wipes and a cpl of nappies stuffed in my bag. Other mums had bags crammed with snacks and drinks at all times.
I also, only shop as and when so I never have snacks in the house.
Plus I was never brought up to have pudding after dinner.
Therefore I have never ever used “snacks” to placate or entertain my child.
I can tell you now, that most people completely over feed their kids and I can tell by the way you write that so do you!
Just cut the snacks out all together l! You write it like it’s part of a day to day diet... it isn’t.
Remove ALL snacks from your house. Leave only fruit- preferably the ones they don’t really like!
Do not take any snacks out with you. Voila, problem solved. They will not continue to ask if the answer is always that you don’t have any!
They will then eat bigger dinners and be well nourished.

If you wrote down all the stuff they are eating in a day you would probably be astounded. All of my friends kids eat a ludicrous amount but yet their parents don’t think they do!

Can you break the cycle now? Not sure? You might have to always live in a healthy snack free house.

As my Sons grown up this way, we could have a cupboard full of snacks now but I’m still to idle to buy them 🤣

And also, let’s get something straight. They are not “starving”
You can quite easily test this theory by offering them something like a carrot. They will probably refuse it. A kid that’s saying they are starving is preying on a weak parent for something sweet or savoury and unhealthy to indulge in. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

There is nothing wrong with snacks!!

You can quite easily test this theory by offering them something like a carrot. They will probably refuse it.

oh my god. If I'm very hungry, I don't want a carrot either, they contain about -2 calories once you've finished chewing and digesting them.

Were I ravenous and looking for something sunstantial to eat, and someone offered me a carrot, they'd be walking uncomfortably for a while!

I speak to family and friends but because they don’t look obese or even overweight as they’re v heavy but strong and muscular

This is nonsense - part of the "big bones" urban myth.

A 6 year old isn't going to be built like a body builder sorry, so if their BMI is high, it's because they're fat.

That said I'd be surprised if they were fat given the diet you claim to have them on.

This thread is all a bit weird really.

There is something wrong with snacks if your kids are overweight. Because clearly you don’t have a good enough relationship with food to know what is too much!

And a carrot, offered to a child that’s eaten a full dinner an hour ago is a perfect “snack”. My child eats carrots for snacks all the time and guess what.. they are not fat!

And why would you be ravenous if you were eating three full meals a day? You would not be ravenous you would be craving food. There is a difference.

@Jgdgjbdssvuuuuu

And also, let’s get something straight. They are not “starving” You can quite easily test this theory by offering them something like a carrot. They will probably refuse it. A kid that’s saying they are starving is preying on a weak parent for something sweet or savoury and unhealthy to indulge in. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Again, this is from someone who doesn't have really really food focussed children. My younger 2 would happily eat multiple carrots after a meal. Dc2 has been known to munch away on an entire cucumber. It's so challenging - I can give my dc1 free rein and trust him to learn how own hunger cues, but a smaller minority of kids simply don't have that ability.

Well let them eat multiple carrots or a whole cucumber after a meal then?

If you get that anal about it then you are just being too controlling over food.

I’ve watched my Son eat a whole cucumber before- no biggie. He wouldn’t do it every day but if he wants to one day, who cares? It’s good for him and it sure as hell isn’t going to make him fat.

I wouldn’t let him eat a whole cucumber in the hour before a meal though because I would have a reason for that, not just trying to control him. The reason would be “no, you won’t eat your dinner”

Dunno, like I said, it’s easy for me, just because of my life style. Sure there’s somethings I’m pretty shite at but I honestly watch other people and their kids relationships with food aghast at how something so simple can be made so difficult.

@bookworm1632

I speak to family and friends but because they don’t look obese or even overweight as they’re v heavy but strong and muscular

This is nonsense - part of the "big bones" urban myth.

A 6 year old isn't going to be built like a body builder sorry, so if their BMI is high, it's because they're fat.

That said I'd be surprised if they were fat given the diet you claim to have them on.

This thread is all a bit weird really.

It is so weird how so many people genuinely believe that a two year old can be so densely muscular that their BMI measurement is worthless. Unless your toddler is in a circus school training for hours per day then that just isn’t going to be the case.

Food and weight are so emotive, people would rather tell themselves their four year old is packed with a ridiculous amount of pure muscle than acknowledge they might have a bit too much extra fat on them.

I seriously think you need a good doctor/ dietician to look into it.
They could fail to feel full, they will not be the first or last with this problem.
A common thing is to confuse thirst with hunger, so maybe try that one, which you hace mentioned, but try to offer water or juice if it has mot been long since last meal. I find that hot drinks, like herbal teas, make my hunger go away, while cold ones do not.
But, they could also just need all that energy because their metabolism. You say that they are heavy, but they do not look unhealthy.
Their diet, in my opinion, is perfect. Keep giving them healthy nutricious food, as you do. Fruit and veggies as snacks. You can never go wrong with that.
Make sure they are active.
And, more important OP, stop stressing. You have healthy strong children. Never feel that you are failing in any way or embarrassed at all!
Address the problem, with a good doctor, just in case there is a hormone or metabolism problem there.
By the way, you are not the first to say that their children are always hungry. I have read it many times here.

@LeekPeachPlum

Could you reduce portion sizes a little? Giving them smaller meals & snacks throughout the day. This might stop them feeling so hungry between meals. 1 weetabix is actually an adult portion so 1.5 and banana seems at lot at once for a 3 year.

No it isn’t? It literally says on the box that a portion is 2 weetabix

@Jgdgjbdssvuuuuu

And also, let’s get something straight. They are not “starving” You can quite easily test this theory by offering them something like a carrot. They will probably refuse it. A kid that’s saying they are starving is preying on a weak parent for something sweet or savoury and unhealthy to indulge in. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

Greedy little fuckers, wanting to indulge in food they actually like when they're hungry!

This thread is all a bit weird really.

You're not wrong, @bookworm1632.

I honestly think you should write down everything they eat for two
Weeks. If you are honest with yourself then that list will probably be wildly different to what you’ve written on here.

If they genuinely just eat what you’ve said everyday then they wouldn’t be fat.

I don’t think parents realise how often they are dealing out food.

Here’s an average day for most kids I know:

Unhealthy cereals with cows milk. Way above the portion sizes advertised on back of box.

Within half an hr kids are saying they are starving so Mum gives some raisins or fruit etc.

Half an hr later kids are starving again. They are given some supposedly healthy snacks like bread sticks, rice cakes or cereal bars- all of which are unhealthy anyway. Plus they are constantly at the fruit bowl or in the fridge for “healthy” things like those yoghurts in a stick shape- or which they get through about 5 a day.

Now it’s only about 10 o click but they whinge enough to get some sweets or chocolate “but just a little bit OK!”

11am- kids are “starving”. Mum makes them something ridiculously big like a peanut butter sandwich.

12.30 kids are given lunch- they barely eat it because they are full up but their parents badger them to eat more and not waste it.

They have something ridiculous for “afters” like ice cream or sweets. “But just a little bit OK darling”

Repeat until dinner

Repeat until bed

Greedy little fuckers, wanting to indulge in food they actually like when they're hungry!

There’s a difference between hungry and greedy.
I know it but you clearly don’t.
Mock me all you like but my child has no issues around food.

@Jgdgjbdssvuuuuu

I honestly think you should write down everything they eat for two Weeks. If you are honest with yourself then that list will probably be wildly different to what you’ve written on here.

If they genuinely just eat what you’ve said everyday then they wouldn’t be fat.

I don’t think parents realise how often they are dealing out food.

Here’s an average day for most kids I know:

Unhealthy cereals with cows milk. Way above the portion sizes advertised on back of box.

Within half an hr kids are saying they are starving so Mum gives some raisins or fruit etc.

Half an hr later kids are starving again. They are given some supposedly healthy snacks like bread sticks, rice cakes or cereal bars- all of which are unhealthy anyway. Plus they are constantly at the fruit bowl or in the fridge for “healthy” things like those yoghurts in a stick shape- or which they get through about 5 a day.

Now it’s only about 10 o click but they whinge enough to get some sweets or chocolate “but just a little bit OK!”

11am- kids are “starving”. Mum makes them something ridiculously big like a peanut butter sandwich.

12.30 kids are given lunch- they barely eat it because they are full up but their parents badger them to eat more and not waste it.

They have something ridiculous for “afters” like ice cream or sweets. “But just a little bit OK darling”

Repeat until dinner

Repeat until bed

Lol, if that's what you're supposed to feed your kids I am probably going to have to report myself to social services!

It’s how you’re not supposed to feed your kids.
It’s how kids get fat and grow up using food as a tool for boredom

@Lourdes12

Carbs and veg makes you hungry, you won’t go long on them until you are hungry again. Rare slow cooked meats, raw dairy and kefir, cream, fish, egg - these are more bio available foods that will fill them up and won’t make their body so hungry. Fat doesn’t make you fat it’s a myth. Pasteurised dairy makes us puff up a bit as the molecules expand when it’s cooked. I personally stick to raw dairy. The food pyramid is just insane, why put grains at the top which turns into sugar in your body and gives you very little bio available food. They are hard work for our body to digest and can lead to obesity and cancer. If you want to give them grains soak them for many days yourself to pre digest them and give in smaller amounts. Fruit and heavy cream is a good snack not processed carbs. If you mainly feed your kids pasta, bread, cereals, rice, veg, fruit and a little meat/fish you are mainly giving them sugar and they will be hungry a lot. So give them bio available foods with a little water between meals so they don’t flush out the nutrients in their food. Drinking lots of water makes your body hungry as you are flushing out nutrients. Hydrate with fats, fruit juices and dairy as well as some water

Grains turn into sugar in your body And then give you cancer? So we should eat meat, which is a well known carcinogen then I suppose. You don't half talk some shite.

My 7 and 5 year old today had...

Bircher muesli, OJ
A clementine and some grapes for a snack
Pittas, veg sticks (cucumber, celery and carrots) and houmous for lunch with some green salad
They had a couple of chocolates each from a box we had at home in the afternoon. DD also had a banana.
Stir fry and rice for evening meal and a fromage frais afterwards.

I'm starting to lose sense of whether this is normal or not, lol

@Jgdgjbdssvuuuuu

I honestly think you should write down everything they eat for two Weeks. If you are honest with yourself then that list will probably be wildly different to what you’ve written on here.

If they genuinely just eat what you’ve said everyday then they wouldn’t be fat.

I don’t think parents realise how often they are dealing out food.

Here’s an average day for most kids I know:

Unhealthy cereals with cows milk. Way above the portion sizes advertised on back of box.

Within half an hr kids are saying they are starving so Mum gives some raisins or fruit etc.

Half an hr later kids are starving again. They are given some supposedly healthy snacks like bread sticks, rice cakes or cereal bars- all of which are unhealthy anyway. Plus they are constantly at the fruit bowl or in the fridge for “healthy” things like those yoghurts in a stick shape- or which they get through about 5 a day.

Now it’s only about 10 o click but they whinge enough to get some sweets or chocolate “but just a little bit OK!”

11am- kids are “starving”. Mum makes them something ridiculously big like a peanut butter sandwich.

12.30 kids are given lunch- they barely eat it because they are full up but their parents badger them to eat more and not waste it.

They have something ridiculous for “afters” like ice cream or sweets. “But just a little bit OK darling”

Repeat until dinner

Repeat until bed

I think for most kids it goes something like:

Breakfast
Snack at school
Lunch at school which usually is something healthy as school check lunchboxes
Snack after school
Dinner
Bed

It’s definitely not!
Everyone I know from rich to poor over feeds their kids.
Most kids I know can’t even go for a 20 minute trip to the park unless mums packed a bottle of water and some raisins in her bag.
Even the drinking kids do is weird these days. People teach them to be like camels. At my Son’s football they are sent off to “have a drink” about every ten minutes! It’s weird.
How about they drink when they are thirsty? A person that can’t go 15 mins without a drink is a person with an addiction IMO.
I’m probably over passionate about this subject but I feel like I’m surrounded by kids that can’t last 15 mins without eating, drinking and then urinating.
I find it annoying. Me and my child could go out for hours with non of the above. We might be a bit hungry and thirsty by the time we can home, that’s all!?

Haven't read the whole post so this may have already been said but have you tried allowing unlimited apples or oranges or similar between meals so they feel like they have some kind of control about their food. If they don't want them then they aren't hungry. Thinking back to my childhood in the 60's and 70's we didn't tend to snack between meals. Maybe an ice pop in the summer sometimes but I can't remember when it became the norm to do so.

Calm down @Jgdgjbdssvuuuuu