My sister won't sign as 'Auntie'

[Boytrio]

I get on really well with my sister, we've always been close even when she moved to America. She doesn't want children though sometimes I suspect it's her husband who doesn't want children and she doesn't have a choice. Either way, I feel sad for her and what she is missing out on and I hope she/they will change their mind. I always assumed she would love my children as if they were her own, like I do my nephew (brothers son). It has come as an unpleasant surprise that she can act so hostile towards them. Sometimes she's wonderful - one was born on her birthday and she said it was the best birthday present ever. She is also an awesome whatsapp dinosaur buddy. And then there are other times when I just wonder what is going on inside her head. She has yet to meet my three year old (I would have been desperate to go to America and meet my niece/nephew if she had one but meeting mine seem to be low priority). She also consistently signs herself by her name without the 'Auntie' title. For me, being an Auntie is a joy. It feels like she is rejecting my children by denying them that special relationship. I've asked her about it and she said it should be their choice whether they call her Auntie or not. Quite frankly I find it bizaare to put that decision making on toddlers - surely you'd just call yourself Auntie and then accept it was their decision to stop when they were older and have more advanced comprehension? Am I being unreasonable to expect more enthusiasm than this?!

Has she been back to the UK in the last few years?

I don't refer to myself as auntie i think its an awful name. I don't mind my nieces and ne[hews using it but I never use it myself.

@Holly60

I’ve always thought it was the norm to call each other auntie and uncle??? Is this just my family? I’m gobsmacked. Genuinely never thought to do anything else. Makes me feel even luckier to have my family to be honest

I have always done the same as you but I would never be gobsmacked that other families do things differently

There are some self obsessed threads on MN sometimes but this one is right up there

Either way, I feel sad for her and what she is missing out on and I hope she/they will change their mind.

This comment alone doesn't sit right with me at all.

Some people simply do not want children, you can't decide that for them and then decide it's a sad situation. How insensitive and rude.

Also, if she doesn't sign herself off as Auntie then who cares.

Here OP, I think you could do with one of these. No-one is “rejecting” your precious offspring.

I’m an aunt and I’m fond of my nephews. I have never, ever referred to myself as “Auntie”, or even “Aunt”, and I never would. I have a name and I’m quite happy for my nephews to use it, like everyone else.

And in response to @Holly60, I don’t think that makes them ‘unlucky’ - families are made by their actions not what they call each other

@SionnachRua 😂

I really want a dinosaur buddy!

I also hate Auntie although my siblings and in-laws all use it I am referred to by my first name. I have some aunts and some I call by their first name. It's a question of preference. And it's by no means a privilege to be an aunt. Your kids, your choice - she inherits them by the means of being your sister. It doesn't mean she has to gush all over them. When there older they may think she's the beat thing ever - who knows

I have always referred to my Aunts and Uncles using their title in the same way that my children call my sister Aunty then her name. It really doesn’t seem odd or weird to me..it’s just how I thought it was for everyone.

Only here for the dinosaur buddy

I never used the auntie and uncle title growing up so I didn't really want to be auntie when I became one and I adore my nieces and nephews! We are very close to them.

Saying that, my husband's side do use them and I have no problem with it but I often genuinely forget to write 'auntie' when signing cards etc. I notice the older ones are dropping it now and that's fine with me.

Not sure I even understand this it’s so bewildering. In my family no one has ever used the word ‘auntie’ and very rarely even ‘aunt x’ so for me it is just unimaginable that anyone would care so much about this. You sound a bit of a nightmare on this issue op. Have you thought about letting her be ?

@gogogogo1

Only here for the dinosaur buddy

They can normally be found T-rexing in Asda.

@Holly60

I’ve always thought it was the norm to call each other auntie and uncle??? Is this just my family? I’m gobsmacked. Genuinely never thought to do anything else. Makes me feel even luckier to have my family to be honest

Really?! Go and join OP in the smug club.

Titles mean nothing compared to actions.
Children know who loves them.
No one gets titles in our family, other families do it differently, I don't feel lucky that my family does or does not use titles, I feel lucky that they're a pretty good bunch of people.

Super proud Auntie of 3 gorgeous nephews and still I am of the firm opinion YABU.

So unreasonable. Stop projecting your thoughts, behaviours, expectations etc on your sister and respect her approach. And stop thinking that your children deserve something besides what they are getting - just because they're the centre of your universe doesn't mean other people, even family, feel the same. I am child free by choice. I have a toddler nephew. He's cute, I love him, but he is not my child, I don't feel a deep bond and I don't find him that interesting because I find small children a bit tedious. I don't itch to see him. I also don't refer to myself as auntie because I think it's a bit twee. This does not make me a terrible, uncaring person. I'm just not a person who thinks children are the be all and end all and dotes over them. Let your sister be who she is.

Golden womb

I love my niece but I've never been addressed as Auntie. My brother in law's sister never has been either. Just first names.

How utterly ridiculous are you.
Incredulous woman.

I've just realised that in my family we actually sometimes use 'auntie' for close family friends that aren't even aunties really. Now that's going to send some of you Into a spin.

Troll thread ?

You are ridiculous and narrow minded.

@gottakeeponmovin

I've just realised that in my family we actually sometimes use 'auntie' for close family friends that aren't even aunties really. Now that's going to send some of you Into a spin.

I actually have a few people I call aunties but they’re not my actual aunts either. It’s also a very cultural things in some countries. I have some lovely friends from Africa, all ladies in their 50s and above, and seeing as I’m still a young girl in her 20s, it’s only appropriate I refer to them as aunties. It’s lovely, like having a second extended family.

Do you "feel sorry" for every women who chooses the stay childfree?

Yes you are being unreasonable. We have never called our aunts auntie whoever , and my nephews ans nieces don’t call me auntie chloemol

They know she is their aunt, they can have a relationship with her she doesn’t need a title.

As to her having kids, that’s her decision, nothing to do with you and actually she is not missing out on anything. Some people simply don’t want children, just respect her decision and move on.

Just leave her be