My sister won't sign as 'Auntie'

[Boytrio]

I get on really well with my sister, we've always been close even when she moved to America. She doesn't want children though sometimes I suspect it's her husband who doesn't want children and she doesn't have a choice. Either way, I feel sad for her and what she is missing out on and I hope she/they will change their mind. I always assumed she would love my children as if they were her own, like I do my nephew (brothers son). It has come as an unpleasant surprise that she can act so hostile towards them. Sometimes she's wonderful - one was born on her birthday and she said it was the best birthday present ever. She is also an awesome whatsapp dinosaur buddy. And then there are other times when I just wonder what is going on inside her head. She has yet to meet my three year old (I would have been desperate to go to America and meet my niece/nephew if she had one but meeting mine seem to be low priority). She also consistently signs herself by her name without the 'Auntie' title. For me, being an Auntie is a joy. It feels like she is rejecting my children by denying them that special relationship. I've asked her about it and she said it should be their choice whether they call her Auntie or not. Quite frankly I find it bizaare to put that decision making on toddlers - surely you'd just call yourself Auntie and then accept it was their decision to stop when they were older and have more advanced comprehension? Am I being unreasonable to expect more enthusiasm than this?!

I refuse to be ‘Auntie’ because I don’t like it. I love my nieces and nephews but my name is just fine.

My 6 year old nephew just calls me my name unless he wants something I have and then its Auntie 😆

If this is a genuine post then yes YABU.

I have 8 nieces and nephews

I am not and never have been called aunt or aunty by choice.

I have a close relationship with 5 of them (2 I rarely see due to location )
I send gifts, during lockdown all the under 10s got a weekly box of treats.

I have supported them with university applications and helped them to buy a house

I dont need a title of aunty and certainly have not missed out on anything as a result.

I always assumed she would love my children as if they were her own, like I do my nephew (brothers son).

Don't talk daft.

The quality of a relationship is not defined by a title.

I only came on here to find out what a WhatsApp dinosaur buddy was and I am sadly none the wiser now. 😭

I want one!

Cripes. In my family we don’t really call people uncle and auntie at all. Unless it’s maybe a great aunt or uncle. You’d hate us!

‘Auntie’ is cringey

My aunt hates the prefix "auntie" as she says it makes her feel old (and she's always said that). Of course as soon as I found that out I called her it all the time but when I was a kid I just called her by her name. Makes fuck all difference to the relationship.

We have never used the titles Aunty or uncle in our family, I am 57 never did either.
We all love each other without the title. I personally find it rather archaic, but that's a personal opinion.

I have lots of nieces and nephews, some very young but I’ve never really liked being called auntie or aunt, don’t know why.

I just like being called my name, doesn’t mean anything at all.

OP, just gently suggesting that perhaps your sister might be unable to have kids? It’s deeply personal if that’s her situation. People often hide it by saying they don’t want to have children. It might simply be that she has hopeful days and bad days. Don’t push it in the meantime. Just let her be there when she’s happy to participate. I may of course be completely wrong. Either way, first name for aunts and uncles is generally normal in our families. Try not to over think it. 🌹

Despite my name, I am merely Mary to my nieces and nephews. Who I certainly don't love like my children.

@PuttingOnTheKitsch

The OP has come back and admitted she's unreasonable. The people coming on in frothing rage are the ones coming across poorly.

‘In frothing rage’? Talk about drama overdose.

@StillCoughingandLaughing 'In frothing rage’? Talk about drama overdose.

Whether you like the way @PuttingOnTheKitsch has phrased it or not, her point is valid. Those people are the ones coming across poorly, talk about flogging a dead horse!

The OP has conceded with good grace. We all have our blind spots. Maybe time to leave off?

Of course your being nuts!

Does it actually matter what she calls herself?

My ds calls my sister by her first name now he's 16 but used auntie at a younger age.
My sisters ds calls me auntie X still as he's 8.

The relationship hasn't changed through what we're called.

Also you cannot have expectations on how others feel and act towards your child. You're hurting yourself by being disappointed and what is it gaining?

Will happily be a dinosaur buddy if anyone is interested !

I hate the word auntie. I like being one by HATE using that name so I don’t. Sabe as your sister.

@catlovingdoctor

Will happily be a dinosaur buddy if anyone is interested !

I'm still dying to know what a dinosaur buddy is 😅

YABVU. I refuse to be called Auntie - I hate it. I much prefer to be known by my name. My SIL does it to wind me up!

I have several aunts. One of which as never been called Auntie. I refer to her as my Aunt and she had supported me all my life. She is no less an Aunt than my Aunts I do call Auntie.