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AIBU Wedding day drama

306 replies

Nellybellyfrillytilly · 29/04/2021 07:54

Looking for a bit of perspective and advice if possible.

My sister is getting married this year and I was asked to be made of honour (prior to becoming pregnant), since she found out I was pregnant she was angry that her wedding would not be the same as mine because I wouldn’t be able to drink/would have a child to look after (she does not have and does not want children). This caused a lot of tension between us.

Because of covid the original wedding date was moved, I since had our baby but my sister has rarely been present in their life - I’ve blamed covid for a lot of it as everyone is in a similar situation, but she rarely asks about my child over the phone or text.

The conversation came up that my sister would like all the bridal party to stay over at the venue the night before and night of the wedding (it’s tents and camping for everyone other than the bride and groom), at which point I spoke privately to my sister and let her know that I breastfeed my child at night, we are nursing to sleep and often have a wake up in the middle of the night, so I may not be able to stay over - she doesn’t want our baby there with me and I’m not sure camping would be practical - she is not happy, called me selfish and I should be dedicating myself to her for those few days and my husband can look after our child.

We have now not spoken for nearly a month because of this.

Am I being unreasonable, I am sticking to my guns that my child needs me and other ladies in the bridal party have older children or do not breastfeed their children so have that flexibility. I also need to add we have tried many times to introduce a bottle and rocking our child to sleep to give our household some more flexibility and it’s not been a pleasant experience, I would much rather continue breastfeeding.

Thank you for your help ☺️

OP posts:

FizzyApricot · 29/04/2021 07:57

Wow she sounds horrible. You aren't her slave.


Freddiefox · 29/04/2021 07:59

I honestly believe people expect far to much of their wedding guests, friends and families. I don’t think yabu


Pottedpalm · 29/04/2021 08:00

Camping the night before the wedding?? And then you all get ready in a tent? No thanks.


Sparklingbrook · 29/04/2021 08:01

I would tell her I'm not going full stop. 'Dedicating' yourself to her? What nonsense-I couldn't be doing with it all.


Cabinfever10 · 29/04/2021 08:02

How old will your baby be by the time of the wedding?


Newkitchen123 · 29/04/2021 08:02

I don't have a child and I wouldn't be camping for anyone!
No one gets to dictate where I stay. I'd be in a hotel or something down the road.


NailsNeedDoing · 29/04/2021 08:03

I wouldn’t camp for a wedding for two night with our without a baby, who wants to attend a wedding when they’ve just woken up in a tent?

I can understand your sister being upset that she won’t have her sister around for what, to her, is a hugely important event, especially after it has had to be rearranged. But as she’s expecting her guests to camp for two nights for her wedding it doesn’t seem like she really cares about her guest’s comfort, so she loses any sympathy she might have deserved.


funnylittlefloozie · 29/04/2021 08:04

"Dedicating yourself to her for several days"? Is she on crack? Honestly, what a complete twit she is.

And a big fat nope to camping the night before and getting ready in a freaking tent!!


scrivette · 29/04/2021 08:07

She is being completely unreasonable.

I love camping but wouldn't want to do this, children or no children as whenever I camp I can't sleep the first night so she may end up with a lot of grumpy people during the day.


Fyredraca · 29/04/2021 08:07

I'd be glad I had an excuse not to sleep in a tent.
Honestly I'd just ask her if she wants someone else to be MOH as she is clearly disappointed in your lackof commitment. No doubt once she has a baby it will be a different story.


SinkGirl · 29/04/2021 08:08

The irony of her calling you selfish. She is a nightmare. She’s a bride, not the bloody queen.


DownWhichOfLate · 29/04/2021 08:09

Haha! Your sister is bonkers! Honestly, she will hopefully look back at her behaviour in the future and cringe. Don’t camp - sounds a nightmare even without a baby.


CigarsofthePharoahs · 29/04/2021 08:10

Nothing like waking up feeling cold, having to slough through a field for a wee and minimal hygiene facilities to make you feel in the mood to glam up for a wedding.
I get that your sister feels a bit sad it won't be exactly the same atmosphere as your wedding, but she's acting like a spoilt toddler. She could compromise, but clearly doesn't want to.


Queenoftheashes · 29/04/2021 08:12

I wouldn’t be camping and I have no kids. I would say I have no interest in sleeping in a freezing wet tent unless at a festival - certainly not the day before I have to attend a wedding. She’s got an internal cheek.


Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 29/04/2021 08:16

Camping at a wedding?? That would be a no from me. Strange choice IMO, tricky for getting ready and hanging dresses etc (unless it is a kinda glamping thing).

Anyone tell her to do one Grin


Newkitchen123 · 29/04/2021 08:16

I can't get my head round how on earth you get ready for a wedding in a tent!
Where do you hang your outfit that you've no doubt paid a fortune for? How do you do your hair?
How do you get across the field in your high heels?


ChaToilLeam · 29/04/2021 08:17

She’s a selfish arse. I wouldn’t camp under any circumstances and especially not with a small breast fed baby. Do you normally get on with her and this is just Bridezilla madness, or has she got form for being a twit?


mimofboy2 · 29/04/2021 08:18

Personally would hate to camp the night before or of the wedding. Can you not just spend time in the evening with her and be their for her in the morning? I don't really see why it matters to her where you physically sleep. It depends how old your little one is and whether you can leave them with their Dad for the morning. Do they take a bottle/ can you express so you can spend the time in the morning with her? Though to be honest she sounds so ridiculously not sure I would want to make all the effort for some one so selfish


MindGrapes · 29/04/2021 08:18

Are you married OP? In what ways did she dedicate herself to you for days before your wedding?
No way would I be camping the night before a big wedding, child or no.

No way would I leave a breastfed child either if bottle feeding hadn't worked - been there, done that, the stress caused was immense.


HerMammy · 29/04/2021 08:19

Note; bride isn’t staying in a tent, just her minions. Dedicate yourself? she sounds a right arse.


idrinkchocolatemilk · 29/04/2021 08:20

She sounds like a spoilt little brat.

Yes your her maid of honour but first and foremost you’re a mother. That trumps everything IMO 👍

Leave her to sulk if she’s any kind of a decent human being she will come to her senses.


RampantIvy · 29/04/2021 08:21

Honestly I'd just ask her if she wants someone else to be MOH

I would do this. It sounds like what she wants isn't compatible with you parenting a small baby. You are correct to prioritise your baby's needs BTW.


ImInStealthMode · 29/04/2021 08:21

She's being an entitled brat. Like an above poster I also don't have a child and would not be fucking camping out the night before a wedding for anyone.

Maybe suggest that if she needs waiting on hand and foot for the best part of 3 days she should promote another of her slaves bridesmaids up to MOH.


Mummyoflittledragon · 29/04/2021 08:23

I left my breastfeeding baby for a couple of nights but she was taking bottles of expressed milk and on solids by this stage.

No way on Earth would I do what your sister is suggesting. I’d also like to know in what way your sister dedicated herself to you for at least 48 hours during your wedding. And why the fuck would the couple want the wedding party to go camping??


ArtemisBean · 29/04/2021 08:24

You're a bridesmaid not a servant, for goodness sake. With a breastfeeding baby she should be grateful you're turning up on the day at all, never mind faffing about with tents and giving her exclusive use of your services for two days. She's insane.

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