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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do I deal with an "annoying" work colleague?

167 replies

Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 18:01

I'm her line manager.

There is nothing wrong with work. It's her personality. I've had various members of my team "complain" about her and that she needs to be told. I eventually turned round to one today and said "What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

A few things:

She shouts loudly when on the phone.

Over enunciates every single word.

Repeats herself endlessly.

Talks to herself constantly.

We mentioned a saying that a colleague (who has sadly passed away) used and now tries to put it into every single sentence.

She broke down in tears when another colleague announced they had the all clear from cancer (she has known him 2 months tops) and said "good things happen to good people" (despite her knowing full well my FIL is stage 4 terminal - my issue).

Laughs at the most stupidest things (today she dropped a piece of paper - the most hilarious thing ever apparently)

These are just a few things. I've mentioned in her one to ones that she needs to reign it in a little as she can be a bit "over excited" at times, but she just doesn't stop!!

I'm at the end of my tether. I just don't know what to do with her!!

We are moving offices in a short while which will require some moving about. As of today I have had 5 requests asking not to be sat on the same bank of desks as her.....There's only so many seats so some are going to be VERY disappointed!

Any advice???

OP posts:
dreamsarefree · 28/04/2021 18:02

Is it my SIL?

Only one way to tell her, brutally honest and have a witness. HTH

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 18:04

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

That wasn't very professional.

When's her next performance review? Maybe put in writing that she has been asked to tone it down a bit she could work on it before the next review? Especially the shouting on the phone.

titchy · 28/04/2021 18:06

You need to tell her that she is loud and it's very distracting in an office environment.

But she laughs over silly things, and has an annoying personality? Your colleagues need to grow up.

Original poster
Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 18:08

@Sparklingbrook

It was said after endless days of complaining. I lost it. Not professional no, but I'm human!

OP posts:
Springingintospring · 28/04/2021 18:08

Hot desk policy.
Then everyone will get turns sitting near her.

Singingwiththepain · 28/04/2021 18:09

Yes agreed, a lot of this sounds petty and a bit bitchy from her colleagues. I'd focus on the points you can legitimately address such as being loud on the phone. But the rest of it is part and parcel of working for someone else - you can't pick your colleagues.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 28/04/2021 18:09

Concentrate on concrete feedback. The loud phone conversations are disturbing people; therefore you can more than legitimately ask her to keep her voice down. If she chatters constantly, tell her she needs to rein that in as others are struggling to concentrate.

Over-enunciating and using your dead colleague’s expressions? Not a lot you can do about that. It may get on people’s nerves, but it’s nothing to do with her work.

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 18:10

[quote Vindicated2021]@Sparklingbrook

It was said after endless days of complaining. I lost it. Not professional no, but I'm human![/quote]
Yes I get that-I've been there. It's just that there's always one who is willing to relay to them what the boss said about them and you need to always have the upper hand.

Do you have anyone above you who could back you up?

FuckyouCovid21 · 28/04/2021 18:10

She doesn't sound that bad, I think you're all being very mean

TirisfalPumpkin · 28/04/2021 18:11

You can’t ignore five requests. You need to come up with the specific behavioural changes you need to see to make your team harmonious again. Then talk to her.

FOJN · 28/04/2021 18:11

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

There's nothing wrong with her work and you spoke to her like that. I'm not sure you are cut out for management if you are unable to deliver feedback more constructively. I would lodge a formal complaint against you if you spoke to me like that. She may be irritating but you and the rest of the team seem very unpleasant.

themalamander · 28/04/2021 18:11

Some of this you can handle because it isnt just annoying personality, it's unruly behaviour which is disrupting the office.

You can speak to her about the volume she speaks at when on the phone as other people making calls or trying to work are behind distracted. You can speak to her about being repetitive because it is causing others to take longer to complete a task as she is giving information out in a way that just takes too long. You can put it under the efficiency umbrella. Talking to herself is again, a distraction to others. You can and should bring all this up during her performance meetings.

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 18:11

You could tell a white lie about the dead colleague thing being upsetting, in fact it may well be.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 28/04/2021 18:12

@FOJN

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

There's nothing wrong with her work and you spoke to her like that. I'm not sure you are cut out for management if you are unable to deliver feedback more constructively. I would lodge a formal complaint against you if you spoke to me like that. She may be irritating but you and the rest of the team seem very unpleasant.

OP didn’t say it direct to the woman concerned.
Original poster
Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 18:12

@Sparklingbrook

Yes, my manager. Who is in agreement with everyone else! The comment was made to a colleague I have worked with for 15 years. I wouldn't have said it to everyone in the office.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 18:12

@FOJN

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

There's nothing wrong with her work and you spoke to her like that. I'm not sure you are cut out for management if you are unable to deliver feedback more constructively. I would lodge a formal complaint against you if you spoke to me like that. She may be irritating but you and the rest of the team seem very unpleasant.

It was said to other staff, not the annoying one.
themalamander · 28/04/2021 18:12

@FOJN

She didnt say that to the culprit. She said that to a difference employer after they made repeated complaints about this person. Still not professional but not as bad as walking up to the woman in question and saying it like that.

MayorGoodwaysChicken · 28/04/2021 18:13

@FOJN

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

There's nothing wrong with her work and you spoke to her like that. I'm not sure you are cut out for management if you are unable to deliver feedback more constructively. I would lodge a formal complaint against you if you spoke to me like that. She may be irritating but you and the rest of the team seem very unpleasant.

She didn’t say that to the person, it was said in discussion with one of the people complaining about her.
Original poster
Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 18:13

@FOJN

I didn't say it to the person. God, I'm not that awful!!!!

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 28/04/2021 18:13

@Springingintospring

Hot desk policy. Then everyone will get turns sitting near her.
Or you end up with an entire team with zero lateness and voluntary unpaid overtime for the next financial year.

Win - win, really.

scaredsadandstuck · 28/04/2021 18:14

@FOJN

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

There's nothing wrong with her work and you spoke to her like that. I'm not sure you are cut out for management if you are unable to deliver feedback more constructively. I would lodge a formal complaint against you if you spoke to me like that. She may be irritating but you and the rest of the team seem very unpleasant.

I don't think OP said it to the annoying person, but to another team member complaining about annoying person?
FOJN · 28/04/2021 18:15

OP didn’t say it direct to the woman concerned.

Sorry, my mistake. Off to brush up on my reading comprehension.

Changechangychange · 28/04/2021 18:16

@FOJN

"What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

There's nothing wrong with her work and you spoke to her like that. I'm not sure you are cut out for management if you are unable to deliver feedback more constructively. I would lodge a formal complaint against you if you spoke to me like that. She may be irritating but you and the rest of the team seem very unpleasant.

She didn’t say that to the woman. She was telling the coworkers that there was no way to deliver “feedback” which would magically make her less annoying.
NeverDropYourMoonCup · 28/04/2021 18:16

By the way, your first two complaints about her could be because she has hearing loss. Which, as you know, would be a protected characteristic.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 28/04/2021 18:18

up to you to manage, not bad mouth.
live and let live,