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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do I deal with an "annoying" work colleague?

167 replies

Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 18:01

I'm her line manager.

There is nothing wrong with work. It's her personality. I've had various members of my team "complain" about her and that she needs to be told. I eventually turned round to one today and said "What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

A few things:

She shouts loudly when on the phone.

Over enunciates every single word.

Repeats herself endlessly.

Talks to herself constantly.

We mentioned a saying that a colleague (who has sadly passed away) used and now tries to put it into every single sentence.

She broke down in tears when another colleague announced they had the all clear from cancer (she has known him 2 months tops) and said "good things happen to good people" (despite her knowing full well my FIL is stage 4 terminal - my issue).

Laughs at the most stupidest things (today she dropped a piece of paper - the most hilarious thing ever apparently)

These are just a few things. I've mentioned in her one to ones that she needs to reign it in a little as she can be a bit "over excited" at times, but she just doesn't stop!!

I'm at the end of my tether. I just don't know what to do with her!!

We are moving offices in a short while which will require some moving about. As of today I have had 5 requests asking not to be sat on the same bank of desks as her.....There's only so many seats so some are going to be VERY disappointed!

Any advice???

OP posts:
emilyfrost · 28/04/2021 19:20

[quote Vindicated2021]@LittleMissMe99

Apart from a standard one to one with her I haven't said anything inappropriate/rude/nasty towards her in anyway shape or form.[/quote]
Irrelevant. You badmouthed her to her colleagues.

Can’t you see how awful that is?

Quirrelsotherface · 28/04/2021 19:22

You are in need of some training for your own role, dear. God help you if you had to deal with a tricky situation if you can't deal with someone talking loudly or dropping something on the floor and laughing. The other stuff, in your role you should have a degree of assertiveness and be able to deal with her behaviour quickly so resentment doesn't linger for everyone else.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 19:22

[quote Vindicated2021]@WorraLiberty

You are correct. The allegation was completely unfounded. However I have never made mention who I work for, or what I do for a living. So how this post can identify me and or other colleagues I fail to understand.

I could be in any office, anywhere in the world dealing with this kind of situation, as is evident by other posters.[/quote]
Actually you've mentioned a colleague with an all clear from cancer. Another one who has died who had a well known phrase. And an office move. If you were in your team reading this you would pretty much be able to tell who you were.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 19:24

And your FIL.

damndorothea · 28/04/2021 19:26

I have ADHD and struggle when people in my (small) office are on the phone or talking loudly as it massively distracts me, but I recognise that this is a me problem, and I either put my headphones in or take a break for a second.

I've been told previously by bitchy colleagues that my other colleagues don't like me and she told me everything they said about me behind my and it has a massive affect on me. My anxiety at work shot through the roof and it had a massive detrimental affect on my mental health. Whatever you do, tread very carefully and please don't tell her people don't want to sit near her, that's a horrible thing to have to hear.

lioncitygirl · 28/04/2021 19:31

yikes op - this thread was not the best idea, given your own history... best get it pulled before it gets picked up by the mail.

Butwasitherdriveway · 28/04/2021 19:32

@Quirrelsotherface

You are in need of some training for your own role, dear. God help you if you had to deal with a tricky situation if you can't deal with someone talking loudly or dropping something on the floor and laughing. The other stuff, in your role you should have a degree of assertiveness and be able to deal with her behaviour quickly so resentment doesn't linger for everyone else.
Sorry I chuckled at the paper bit Grin
SuziQuatrosFatNan · 28/04/2021 19:34

Agree with you @emilyfrost. OP could be facing a formal complaint at least if this poor woman finds out what her line manager has said about her to another colleague.

In an open plan office there are endless possibilities to find oneself annoyed by others. Finding ways to deal with this is part and parcel of being an employee.

CruCru · 28/04/2021 19:34

I am wondering whether this person has picked up that she is irritating the other people in the office and now keeps doing irritating things as a nervous response. If her work is okay, is it possible to be really, really kind to her? It may be that she is being (subtly, unconsciously) excluded from the office social life because people find her irritating and this is making her worse.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 28/04/2021 19:34

[quote Vindicated2021]@LittleMissMe99

Apart from a standard one to one with her I haven't said anything inappropriate/rude/nasty towards her in anyway shape or form.[/quote]
Yes you have, you've badmouthed her to your colleagues.

Butwasitherdriveway · 28/04/2021 19:35

@SuziQuatrosFatNan

Agree with you *@emilyfrost*. OP could be facing a formal complaint at least if this poor woman finds out what her line manager has said about her to another colleague.

In an open plan office there are endless possibilities to find oneself annoyed by others. Finding ways to deal with this is part and parcel of being an employee.

And posted online....
Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 19:39

Wonder if the Daily Mail have picked it up yet?

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 19:39

Sorry @lioncitygirl x post.

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 19:39

@SuziQuatrosFatNan

Agree with you *@emilyfrost*. OP could be facing a formal complaint at least if this poor woman finds out what her line manager has said about her to another colleague.

In an open plan office there are endless possibilities to find oneself annoyed by others. Finding ways to deal with this is part and parcel of being an employee.

Yet alone the complaint if she finds out you've posted about her online with details your colleagues would identify themselves with.
LunaLula83 · 28/04/2021 19:40

Take it to HR?

FizzyApricot · 28/04/2021 19:40

Sorry cross posted with Butwasitherdriveway

MotherOfGremlins · 28/04/2021 19:41

So many ableist-as-fuck comments here. The whole world isn't neurotypical you know.

MarchXX · 28/04/2021 19:41

@Mamamia456

I agree with others about addressing her talking too loudly on the phone, but some of the other stuff just sounds like colleagues being bitchy about her, and as for people not wanting to sit next to her, come on, this isn't school. You're all supposed to be adults in a working environment.
Agree. Sounds like the excuse for a pile on. The 'issues' are pretty trivial. Your five colleagues need to get over themselves and stop bitching about her to each other, because that is exactly what it is. If they can't behave in a professional way perhaps they need to move on somewhere else.
SecretThermalsAreTheBest · 28/04/2021 19:42

@Vindicated2021 I totally get it, it's easy for everybody to say on the internet but it's a different thing when you have to deal with somebody that irritating on a daily basis... Suppressing annoyance is wearing.

Had a similar situation with a former colleague, she was perfectly nice but way too try hard and over the top. No amount of subtle hints made it through and in the end her short term contract wasn't renewed.

No advice really other than if you can find it in yourself to try and be brutally honest it might actually help her. My former colleague kept going on about how she didn't understand why she wasn't getting anywhere in my industry (it's one that relies heavily on being a people-person and getting on well with others).

People are saying it's not school but if that woman is impacting other people's happiness, she really is the problem, not everyone else. Try and come up with some advice about keeping things to herself more or something?

wizzywig · 28/04/2021 19:44

See if you can get only her to wfh.

Butwasitherdriveway · 28/04/2021 19:45

@wizzywig

See if you can get only her to wfh.
Yes, bully the poor woman a bit more.
wingsnthat · 28/04/2021 19:46

I eventually turned round to one today and said "What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

Well that was exceptionally unprofessional of you. It’s literally your job to handle sensitive issues tactfully. If you can’t, perhaps you should be demoted

MarchXX · 28/04/2021 19:46

@damndorothea

I have ADHD and struggle when people in my (small) office are on the phone or talking loudly as it massively distracts me, but I recognise that this is a me problem, and I either put my headphones in or take a break for a second.

I've been told previously by bitchy colleagues that my other colleagues don't like me and she told me everything they said about me behind my and it has a massive affect on me. My anxiety at work shot through the roof and it had a massive detrimental affect on my mental health. Whatever you do, tread very carefully and please don't tell her people don't want to sit near her, that's a horrible thing to have to hear.

Exactly @damndorothea. Can you imagine having to work in that kind of bitchy environment, when the manager whispers unpleasant personal comments to one staff member about another (who has been targeted by everyone else). That is totally unprofessional.
Rinkytinkpanther · 28/04/2021 19:46

WFH is a welcome release from a toxic work environment.

Crazycatlady007 · 28/04/2021 19:49

Keep it very professional. I'm not sure that Mumsnet is the best place for management advice.