To ask how do I deal with an "annoying" work colleague?

[Vindicated2021]

I'm her line manager.

There is nothing wrong with work. It's her personality. I've had various members of my team "complain" about her and that she needs to be told. I eventually turned round to one today and said "What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

A few things:

She shouts loudly when on the phone.

Over enunciates every single word.

Repeats herself endlessly.

Talks to herself constantly.

We mentioned a saying that a colleague (who has sadly passed away) used and now tries to put it into every single sentence.

She broke down in tears when another colleague announced they had the all clear from cancer (she has known him 2 months tops) and said "good things happen to good people" (despite her knowing full well my FIL is stage 4 terminal - my issue).

Laughs at the most stupidest things (today she dropped a piece of paper - the most hilarious thing ever apparently)

These are just a few things. I've mentioned in her one to ones that she needs to reign it in a little as she can be a bit "over excited" at times, but she just doesn't stop!!

I'm at the end of my tether. I just don't know what to do with her!!

We are moving offices in a short while which will require some moving about. As of today I have had 5 requests asking not to be sat on the same bank of desks as her.....There's only so many seats so some are going to be VERY disappointed!

Any advice???

[quote Vindicated2021]@Streamside

I don't want to discipline her. It's her personality. I'm sure I have personality traits that people don't like![/quote]
Good job you don't want to. Because you'd be on a gross misconduct for bullying if you even tried it.
I suggest (as a manager) that given your unfortunate experiences in the workplace you might find additional training useful. Particularly on professional practice.

*She didn’t say that to Ms Annoying, she said it to the colleague who was complaining.

I’m not sure you’re cut out for Internet forums if you’re unable to read comprehensively.*

@MaskingForIt this has been pointed out many times and then acknowledged by the poster. Perhaps you should work on your own forum etiquette

Nasty thread,you have given so much information, that if someone recognises it you could be in trouble.
It seems you manage a clique that is bullying one person.

Ye gods. It's a workplace, you don't have to like everything about your colleagues, you're just meant to work together, not be the missing halves of each others' souls. You're adults and colleagues, get on with it.

You are the manager of this team, and from what I see here, you're falling down on the job. It's up to you to set the culture and tone in the workplace, and you are allowing (and contributing to!) a culture of trivial, bitchy complaining with your tacit approval. You should be stamping down on whinging, and unless her behaviours are specifically blocking the staff's ability to do their jobs, they and you need to get over it and be told so. This sort of behaviour makes for poisonous workplaces, and if she's the target today, there's every chance it'll be some other poor sod next week.

Also, the feedback skills you've demonstrated are poor. "Tone it down/rein it in" is woolly, non-specific fluff, how is your employee supposed to respond to that, go mute? You need to give specific, actionable feedback and changes you need to see, focusing only on issues that affect her or others' performance. "Please speak more quietly on the phone because it's distracting others, and please be more concise and don't repeat yourself during explanations" - that's it. All that nonsense about what she finds funny or whether she over-enunciates words is irrelevant, and frankly I suspect you're only picking up on it because you don't like her.

You're the line manager OP, do better.

@emilyfrost

The only advice you need to take on board is that you have to be more professional, and you don’t badmouth colleagues to each other.

You don’t entertain it. You shut it down immediately.

This is over-simplifying the situation. Yes, some of the comments about the way this colleague enunciates certain words and the phrases she uses are nothing to do with her professionalism and shouldn’t form part of any feedback. However, constant loud talking in the office that disturbs others IS a workplace issue. People need to be able to concentrate and deserve a pleasant environment.

I too wondered if it was a hearing issue, as a former colleague of mine was picked up on how loudly he talked (or more accurately ranted) and responded that he had hearing problems. However, this was unrelated to the fact that he was also obnoxious, tactless and talked incessantly; the volume, that he theoretically could not control, merely compounded existing issues. He got ‘made redundant’ in the end because he slated his manager’s manager on a conference call - which of course the whole office had heard, making the redundancy fiction redundant.

My point is, while it’s important to consider disabilities, and to make sure criticism isn’t just personal, it’s also important to recognise that you can still address clear workplace issues.

I work with someone like this. Loud, repetitive, overenthusiastic, laughs hysterically at everything. She's a genuinely nice person, just really bloody annoying. Fortunately we are only in the office one day a week together so I just grit my teeth and try to tune her out, as do the others in close proximity.

I have visions of Janice from Friends...

please be more concise and don't repeat yourself during explanations

She may have some processing issues and benefit from a written guide on 'How to present a verbal explanation'

If she is neurodiverse, she won't pick things like this up by watching and hearing other colleagues' explanations, she'll need a template.

Which has stopped following her last one to one.

So another very gentle one to one? I know someone like this but not in a work context, so I can walk away if necessary. I do feel for you and your colleagues, this would drive me nuts in a work context.

I worked with someone like this and ended up on anti anxiety meds for a short time. I also had an agreement with my manager that when she got too much I could go off and do some mindfulness then come back. It’s awful and very distracting but what can you do.

Can you accidentally lock her in a cupboard? .

I don’t know why, but I feel very sorry for her. Maybe it was your remark to your colleague about her ‘shit personality’.

Sorry you all sound like bullies , you admitted there is nothing wrong with her work , it’s just her ‘shit personality’ if that’s not bullying or singling someone out because they aren’t like you then I don’t know what is .

You know what's actually bullying? Threads like this where the OP clearly came on to ask some advice.

People saying the OP is a bad manager - this is a really difficult situation to manage, when the problem is someone's overbearing personality. I do feel for the lady but also for the rest of the team.

I do agree with a comment someone else made - that this isn't entirely the OP's responsibility as line manager - the rest of the team are adults and should be just as capable of having tricky conversations e.g. asking the colleague to keep the volume down on the phone, or if they can stop the chatting for now as they need to concentrate.

Good luck OP, I don't envy you!

@CruCru

I am wondering whether this person has picked up that she is irritating the other people in the office and now keeps doing irritating things as a nervous response. If her work is okay, is it possible to be really, really kind to her? It may be that she is being (subtly, unconsciously) excluded from the office social life because people find her irritating and this is making her worse.

I agree with this. The laughing at something a bit too much is usually a symptom of this. Try and include her.

OP,

Open plan offices can be a disaster and very hard on mental health.

High levels of noise when you are trying to concentrate and incessant loud voices on endless calls must be hell to listen to.

I think the suggestion of a new protocol in the office to lower volume, aid concentration, resist interrupting people while they are trying to work, be respectful of other people's private conversations in the open plan lay out, could be circulated to everyone.

Infact you could circulate a request for suggestions on how to improve the work
the work environment etc.

Of course you don't want an unpleasant environment to get worse but what she is doing has the potential to stress people out badly.

Relentless noise is a huge issue in open plan offices for a lot of people.

Also be mindful that once someone has decided someone is annoying they then start noticing other things that reinforce their opinion. And if 5 of them are all moaning to each other then they are just amplifying their opinions.

I doubt there is anything more devastating for someone to hear than 'there isn't anything wrong with your work. Nor have you done anything particularly wrong. It's just YOU'.

OP, you can't discipline this women if there's no basis on which to discipline her. Fair enough if she's being seriously disruptive. But I'm aware it's easy from a line manager's perspective to act when something is made to be your problem. Numerous complaints about one colleague could amount to this.

On the other hand, she might have a legitimate complaint that she's being bullied. Everyone has worked with annoying people from time to time and most have to be adult about it. Your comment about her: 'you've got a shit personality, change it' might have been unkind and not very professional or well thought through, but n fact it was accurate. What indeed are you expected to do about this?

Step back and view this objectively; as LM you have a responsibility to stand aside from this politicking and find a detached way of taking the heat out of the situation. Billy above I think makes a great suggestion:

I think the suggestion of a new protocol in the office to lower volume, aid concentration, resist interrupting people while they are trying to work, be respectful of other people's private conversations in the open plan lay out, could be circulated to everyone.

It would also do no harm to incorporate a strong comment about expectations of professionalism: applying equally to annoying colleague and her rather intolerant office mates.

You'll be seen to have acted on it and not ignored the complaints, but at the same time remained detached, professional and focused, plus your back is covered and no one colleague is singled out for rebuke.

I also have to add: @SuziQuatrosFatNan your screen name is epic!

Your colleagues sound mean, bitchy and terribly unprofessional.

You can ask her to keep the volume down but better, you could suggest she works from home when not needed in a meeting. Spare the poor woman such snide and immature colleagues

There is a lot wrong in my opinion about the person the OP refers to in their work. The noisy phone calls and insensitivity about the deceased colleague's phrase being two of them.

Unfortunately the response to this loses the case for any action to improve matters as it seems unprofessional.

I dunno.. it feels a bit 'mean girls' to me. Imagine how she would feel if she knew people were queuing up to avoid sitting next to her.

@Puntastic

Tbh, I think if someone comes to you and complains that a colleague laughed, there does need to be an element of just telling them to get on with it. It's very juvenile- 'Miss, so-and-so keeps laughing!'

Even if the person brays constantly like a hyena in heat? We are human. We need to learn to tolerate differently wired people. We also Ned to be able to acknowledge that some quirks are intolerable on an ongoing basis. That's why we have laws determining hours building works can be done. Because constant unrelenting noise is stressful and intolerable. When something benign becomes relentless, it renders others unable to concentrate or relax.

[quote Vindicated2021]@Sparklingbrook

It was said after endless days of complaining. I lost it. Not professional no, but I'm human![/quote]
Let’s hope it doesn’t get back to her...

You’re the manager. Your staff should have no idea what your personal opinion is of this woman. Very unprofessional.

What a toxic environment you have curated, I feel sorry for her. Allowing and getting involved in bitching about her, pathetic loss of control in saying that about her to your colleague. What you should have done is addressed the concerns which affect work by talking to her, even if the conversation is difficult; and the aspects like what she finds funny not facilitate your team to bitch about it, it's cruel. She probably feels left out and is trying too hard to fit in.