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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how do I deal with an "annoying" work colleague?

167 replies

Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 18:01

I'm her line manager.

There is nothing wrong with work. It's her personality. I've had various members of my team "complain" about her and that she needs to be told. I eventually turned round to one today and said "What do you want me to say? You've got a shit personality, change it?!"

A few things:

She shouts loudly when on the phone.

Over enunciates every single word.

Repeats herself endlessly.

Talks to herself constantly.

We mentioned a saying that a colleague (who has sadly passed away) used and now tries to put it into every single sentence.

She broke down in tears when another colleague announced they had the all clear from cancer (she has known him 2 months tops) and said "good things happen to good people" (despite her knowing full well my FIL is stage 4 terminal - my issue).

Laughs at the most stupidest things (today she dropped a piece of paper - the most hilarious thing ever apparently)

These are just a few things. I've mentioned in her one to ones that she needs to reign it in a little as she can be a bit "over excited" at times, but she just doesn't stop!!

I'm at the end of my tether. I just don't know what to do with her!!

We are moving offices in a short while which will require some moving about. As of today I have had 5 requests asking not to be sat on the same bank of desks as her.....There's only so many seats so some are going to be VERY disappointed!

Any advice???

OP posts:
Peachypips78 · 28/04/2021 18:53

I feel sorry for her. I agree with a PP who said it doesn't sound like a good atmosphere. She sounds just a bit socially awkward and we all have our difficulties.

I'd be addressing with my team the bitching and negativity and ask that my supervisees don't speak unkindly about people behind their back.

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 18:54

@MaskingForIt @FOJN has already acknowledged that.

marblegarble1 · 28/04/2021 18:54

I would maybe talk to the team as a whole about loudness, that way you don't single her out. There isn't a lot you can really do though if this is her personality. The requests to not be seated near her should be ignored when making seating arrangements though, as there is always somebody annoying in an office and you just have to learn to deal with it as a professional.

flippertygibbit · 28/04/2021 18:54

If your staff wish to raise a grievance you can deal with it appropriately, if they don't tell suggest they try having a conversation directly with her....like adults do.

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 18:55

I have to say I am glad I don't work in that type of environment where it's like school.
You get annoying people everywhere but if it's just their personality you can tune out a lot.

Butwasitherdriveway · 28/04/2021 18:56

The woman has far more grounds for disciplinary on OP than vice versa.

BrownEyedGirl80 · 28/04/2021 18:58

Was it this colleague that reported you for gross misconduct?

Standrewsschool · 28/04/2021 19:02

I think you can ask her to be quieter, and maybe not talk to herself. Also, maybe suggest that the use of deceased colleague phrase is upsetting to others.

However, laughing at stupid things, and crying over cancer news (she may have cried for personal reasons you don’t know about) are fairly harmless, and colleagues mentioning them are bitching. It sounds like this colleague has become the office’s fall guy.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 28/04/2021 19:03

This thread is a very bad idea, OP.

I think you need to get it pulled ASAP.

Wonderingwhatwhere · 28/04/2021 19:05

Feel sorry for this poor woman to be honest, you all sound horrible

mrsg2019 · 28/04/2021 19:06

Does this persons first name begin with 'M'? I know someone who fits this description completely - she left my place of work for a promotion, unsure if there was a single person sad to see her go. As shit as it is, annoying people need to work too and her colleagues need to grow up and work out ways in which to work with her. Difficult but it is what it is - you can't have agreeable colleagues 100% of the time

Wonderingwhatwhere · 28/04/2021 19:06

@IEat

OMG it’s me
It’s all of us, honestly. Don’t worry about it. These people and OP, sound like horrible colleagues
Original poster
Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 19:08

Thank you all. I didn't start this thread to be nasty. I genuinely wanted other peoples opinions on if they had been in a similar position. Its clear that a previous situation I have been in (and completely exonerated of) is clouding the issue and have requested that the thread be removed. To all those who have given advice, good and bad thankyou. It has all been taken on board.

OP posts:
emilyfrost · 28/04/2021 19:10

The only advice you need to take on board is that you have to be more professional, and you don’t badmouth colleagues to each other.

You don’t entertain it. You shut it down immediately.

DeeCeeCherry · 28/04/2021 19:10

titchy
You need to tell her that she is loud and it's very distracting in an office environment

This.

Also tell her the constant muttering and chatter is disturbing in a work environment and it needs to stop. It's about professionalism really.

Put it in a diplomatic way.

But as her Manager you should have told her this already. Your job is managing staff and it could be said you aren't doing your job.

If she doesn't listen it's perfectly ok to move to meeting stage, with an appropriate witness present of course, if you've seen and heard for yourself it's disturbing so, not just basing your opinion on those of other staff members.

We can't all easily tolerate loud people and it's very wearing to put up with at work

Sparklingbrook · 28/04/2021 19:11

There sure seems a lot going on at your workplace. Might it be time for a change?

Butwasitherdriveway · 28/04/2021 19:12

@Vindicated2021

Thank you all. I didn't start this thread to be nasty. I genuinely wanted other peoples opinions on if they had been in a similar position. Its clear that a previous situation I have been in (and completely exonerated of) is clouding the issue and have requested that the thread be removed. To all those who have given advice, good and bad thankyou. It has all been taken on board.
In other words, you had hoped for a good mean feat about this woman but PP hace pointed out you're in the wrong.

Tread carefully OP. this woman has grounds to get you in serious trouble.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 28/04/2021 19:12

She does her job well. She’s too loud on the phone.

The rest sounds like bullying tbh.

Original poster
Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 19:15

@Butwasitherdriveway

No. In no way shape or form. I was hoping to hear from people who had been in a similar situation and as to how they went about it.

You are free to make your own assumptions about it, which you have.

OP posts:
LittleMissMe99 · 28/04/2021 19:15

I think you as a line manager are completely out of order talking to her like that. Her colleagues sound like immature bullies. Absolutely disgraceful behaviour from all of you.

Mangofandangoo · 28/04/2021 19:15

Sounds to me like you and the team have a vendetta against this girl and that's not very nice.

If you can't deal with irritation from staff then you definitely shouldn't be a manager

Butwasitherdriveway · 28/04/2021 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

funnylittlefloozie · 28/04/2021 19:16

Is your whole team a load of wet lettuces who don't know how to speak to another adult in the workplace? Why don't any of them just speak to her and tell her to keep her voice down? That is what would happen in my office- but we are a robust bunch and by the nature of our jobs, plain speakers.

Original poster
Vindicated2021 · 28/04/2021 19:17

@LittleMissMe99

Apart from a standard one to one with her I haven't said anything inappropriate/rude/nasty towards her in anyway shape or form.

OP posts:
Saltyslug · 28/04/2021 19:18

Give here very direct targets in her next 1:1 and then review them a month later

  • speak quietly on the phone
  • keep explanations quick and to the point (give examples of how she can do this)