Do you think you would have been just as happy in life if you didn't have children?

[merrynelly]

I always thought I wouldn't be truly happy in life if I didn't have children. I am absolutely obsessed with my baby and would do absolutely anything for him. He gives my life so much meaning and purpose. However I do now feel that actually, I could've still been really happy had I not had my baby. That being said I am confident I am happier for having him.

Absolutely yes. I've never understood the desire to have children to be honest.

OP, you sound like me. I was happily childfree then at almost 40 found out I was pregnant. Had DD at 40 and she is now 7.

My life without DD would be very different to how it is now but I think I would have found happiness in other things such as travel, career and my social life. All of those aspects have been stalled since having DD.

I love her with all my heart though and she does bring her own happiness to my life.

I consider myself lucky that I never craved a baby and that I did have a full childfree life for a long time before DD came along.

Yes, possibly happier 🤣, sounds awful, I love my kids but both have disabilities and it’s been hard work, of course they bring me happiness but I’m sure I would also of been happy not having children.

Def not. Children have been the making of me. Given me so much motivation when at times I could have given up. Makes me want to achieve more, save to take them on the best holidays etc.
I always buy a car with them in mind - will they like it, is it roomy enough, does it have enough street cred etc

@Everythingfromhome

Yes, but I'm a man and we don't get the biological yearning.

I would be single as well, as there was no way my partner was going to have children.

The absence of responsibility and the ability to go on decent, stress free holidays would be amazing.

My DH absolutely has a biological yearning to have a child, way more than I do!

No, I wouldn't be just as happy.

I'd be happier.

I don't think having or not having children should determine happiness. Surely happiness is made up of a whole range of things. Some people can have it all and still be unhappy, whereas others have little and have a smile on their face.

This is a really interesting question to me. On one hand, I never particularly wanted children (DH really wanted them) nor do I enjoy parenting. I can't wait for them to grow up and leave.

But I was bored. I didn't have a career, even though I had a degree and a professional qualification, I was doing part time bar work when I found out I was pregnant. And DH and I were filling our leisure time in ways that were not healthy (drinking a lot). I think we also had more time for arguments and insecurities about our relationship too.

What changed my life was having a tiny child at home and realising that I needed to be able to support him alone if anything happened to DH, or to us as a couple (I joined Mumsnet and saw what happens to women who become dependent on their husbands). And I found parenting a toddler insanity-inducing. So I looked for and attended a seminar on returning to work, took the tips I needed and got a job within a few weeks, and am now reasonably senior in my chosen career.

DH finds it attractive how motivated I am and our relationship has never been better. He does more with the kids than I do now they're older. Also DS, while he'd argue black was white, is a good natured kid and DD is a perfectly behaved dream and I enjoy taking them to explore new places on my own since DH doesn't like it (they've been begging for another "adventure" throughout lockdown). So I'm lucky.

I am more fulfilled even though I find it very hard juggling everything. So I don't really know if I would be happier with or without children.

no, couldnt imagine life without my children

@Howyoudoingirl

Honestly yes. I love my children & they bring me a lot of joy..but Given my time again I don't think I would have any.

^This