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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can see you are busy doing stuff involving sharp knives and hot things

258 replies

EastWestWhosBest · 26/04/2021 19:17

and are really busy but I’m going to stand here and witter on about something you really don’t care about and get in your way. Oh look, here is a YouTube video about it.

OP posts:
Anycrispsleft · 26/04/2021 21:45

@Hoppinggreen

I don’t generally want to stop whatever it is I am doing instantly to choose whether I would rather have feet for hands or hands for feet

But I will because you are my precious baby boy, even if you are several inches taller than me and are growing a tache

Ah no, that's actually an 8 year old girl you're talking about there, I know because on our last trip to the French supermarket (that we were allowed to go to for a really short window in October due to coronavirus restrictions, so we had to get all our fancy French groceries in the one day) she was asking me whether I would rather eat chocolate flavoured tomatoes or tomato flavoured chocolate.
AmyDudley · 26/04/2021 21:48

What's that you say ? - You have to finish an Open University assignment that needs to be submitted first thing tomorrow?
Then this is the ideal time for me to describe to you in detail how hard and stressful my self appointed role as Oberleutnant of the works coffee kitty is.
What do you mean you don't give a fuck if Bob forgot to replenish the decaf?

79abbot · 26/04/2021 21:52

@BettysCardigan

Oh and here's a fact about the Belgian goalkeeper from the 1984 World Cup team. And who is better, Messi or Ronaldo? Can you guess how many goals Messi has scored in the Copa America in total? I just opened a FIFA pack that cost 10000 FIFA points and got Fuckbender, a German centre-mid for Bollocks FC who now plays for Shite United since his ankle injury of 2017.
This made me laugh so much! I sympathise!
MutteringDarkly · 26/04/2021 21:55

@scaredsadandstuck

Pokémon evolving...
I hear you.
WiddlinDiddlin · 26/04/2021 21:59

ARGH...

'I can see you are on the phone to someone or whatsapping/messenger conversation with a client so NOW I am going to ask you what you want when I go out for I must go RIGHT NOW and not in 10/20 minutes when you are finished. Oh, you can't answer me, then I'll either go and not get the stuff you needed or not go and be in a strop all day because I didn't go out when I wanted to'...

'Yes I'll definitely do that thing no need to nag me'.

5 days and 6 requests later, still not done.

MouseInCatsClaws · 26/04/2021 22:06

@MNHQ this thread belongs in classics. So, so funny

BillMasheen · 26/04/2021 22:06

Oh, and if I say nothing, I’m not listening but if I say anything, I’m interrupting

I FEEL that one. Apparently I don’t listen correctly —at all—

NoSquirrels · 26/04/2021 22:07

I feel like if I identify with any more posts on this thread I might combust in some way - why are people we choose to live with just soooo annoying?! I think this should go in Classics it’s so bloody relatable.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 26/04/2021 22:08

I am going to move my bed to the doorway that you are most likely to want to walk through. (Dog)

I have the best internal alarm clock in the family and will start singing 5 minutes before dinner time and increase the volume if you haven't moved towards the food by 1 minute to dinner time. (Dog)

I can see you're moving with some urgency towards the downstairs loo, so I'm going to get there first, shut the door in your face and do a long, smelly shit. (Everyone, except the dog who would rather go in with me than lock me out. )

WeeMadArthur · 26/04/2021 22:12

I know you aren’t interested in but just watch this... Rewinds last 5 minutes of what they just watched to give you a blow by blow account of the goal/crash/180 score in question, pausing several times so that you can really appreciate the skill/horror/bad luck involved in said moment. Then fast forwards so we can listen to the pundits say the exact same thing.

BookShark · 26/04/2021 22:14

DH is constantly nagging me to consider an extension, because apparently we need a bigger kitchen. We don't, we just need him to stop being "helpful" when I'm trying to do anything. As evidenced by me accidentally splashing boiling water on him tonight because he chose to empty the bin at the exact time I was cooking tea - despite the fact it wasn't actually full.

Fortunately DS (11) doesn't go near the kitchen other than to demand food. Because apparently I can magic it up at the exact time he finishes gaming, despite the fact I've been given no warning at all.

Original poster
EastWestWhosBest · 26/04/2021 22:14

@Nowisthemonthofmaying

Oh dear. Is one of you my DH? Apparently I am always In The Way in the kitchen Blush
The simple solution there is to get out of the bastard kitchen.
OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 26/04/2021 22:14

Can you just... pass me that thing to do the job I said I’d do to save you doing the job because you’ve got other jobs on?

What? Why are you huffy? I only wanted you to pass me something. FGS, if I even try and gelp around here its all wrong. I thought you’d be pleased...

MrsTulipTattsyrup · 26/04/2021 22:15

Oh my God. I am starting to realise that there is only one husband, the ur-husband, if you like: he is all men and all men are him. Intuitively picking the worst possible time or place to be, sometimes both. We must all share him through extensive use of a time turner à la Hermione Granger.

NoSquirrels · 26/04/2021 22:15

help (dunno what a gelp is!)

Nacknick · 26/04/2021 22:16

Oh my, this is me! It’s either minecraft or zwift power...

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 26/04/2021 22:17

Yes, I can see that you are ironing and Ken Bruce is just about to start Popmaster.

But I think you'll find my phone call to the bank is way more entertaining as well as urgent, which is why I am sitting next to you, have switched the radio off and have put my phone on speaker, despite the house having eleventy billion other rooms I could use. I know you will be impressed with my mastery of the phone call.

deplorabelle · 26/04/2021 22:17

I know it is 10pm on a freezing December night and I know you told me to leave the garage door THE FUCK alone and stop going on about it but I urgently need you to stand at the top of this ladder and support the weight of said garage door while I try and bend it back onto the hinges.

Oh were you asleep? I suppose that's why you're wearing your nightdress and no shoes. It's not my fault, I was only checking we could still open it after it was so difficult to close this evening.

CharityDingle · 26/04/2021 22:17

@RiojaRose

I will interrupt the most important Zoom meeting you’ve had in six months, while you’re speaking to 80 people about something complex and challenging, because I need to get my car keys in order to move my car back eight inches after parking it imperfectly three days ago. No, it can’t wait 15 minutes. No, I’m not planning to go anywhere, I just want to move the car right now.
That sounds like actual spite, rather than thoughtless behaviour.
NoSquirrels · 26/04/2021 22:20

See also:

I’ve found this super cool recipe on TikTok for waffle burritos in a sugar cone and it’s really cool look- amazing huh - and is it OK if I make them I’ll only need to go and get 50 ingredients absolutely not stocked by a shop within walking distance and I reckon it’s probably OK to ignore the instructions for letting the batter rest for 2 hours because it’s 8 o’clock at night already and wait... what do you mean you’re cooking tea so I can’t be in the kitchen this is so unfair it’s not like I ask to do much...

NewAndImprovedNorks · 26/04/2021 22:20

Beloved human.
We are all full and walked and have been happily snoozing for the last half an hour, but we believe you need help in the kitchen.
We work very neatly in formation to cover all the possible space between the cooker, sink and fridge and if you are very clever, you can play terrier pinball by stepping on each of us in turn.
We will then look affronted and squeak.

LadyPoison · 26/04/2021 22:20

Lights dimmed, solder carefully placed, scary big torch fired up....

"WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF TEA?"

He means well!

NewAndImprovedNorks · 26/04/2021 22:23

Are you having a wee?
Oh good, we will all fit in the minuscule downstairs loo to watch you, and no we will yap very loudly if asked to wait outside.

(four terriers)

Pigeonpair1 · 26/04/2021 22:26

16-year-old DS does this - he likes to stand right next to me and show me football highlights from his team’s latest match while I’m cooking 😂😂

Notsoaccidentproneanymore · 26/04/2021 22:29

Do you know where ....... is? Yes, it’s in the tall cupboard, bottom shelf.

Ok, thanks. 2 mins later.... I can’t see it. Where did you say it was? Tall cupboard bottom shelf. Are you sure it’s there, I can’t see it....

FFS - look, ITS THERE, bottom shelf tall cupboard, just behind the washing up liquid (stupid )