I can see you are busy doing stuff involving sharp knives and hot things

[EastWestWhosBest]

and are really busy but I’m going to stand here and witter on about something you really don’t care about and get in your way. Oh look, here is a YouTube video about it.

My personal favourite is " I really need to show you this message, while your driving at speed. Its obviously life or death and if you don't pay attention and read it you don't love me"

I know you're still learning how to move on from basic cooking so here's an intermediate recipe for you. Follow it while I stand behind you and bang on about all the people I used to work with (by first name) before I met you!

Yes-this!

I can see you have opened the oven door to get something out - I'll just vacuum the floor in front of you (!!!)

@BlueberryKiss

Oh, I see you are waddling awkwardly up the narrow hall towards the cupboard where the bog roll resides, let me get out of your way by walking backwards slowly in front of you whilst stopping every so often to glance at you to see where you are going and coming to a standstill right in front of said cupboard.

When told to fucking shift, claim "how was I supposed to know what you was doing".

50 year old man.

Wouldn't it be easier if you asked him to pass you the loo roll from the cupboard? I know it should occur to him, but ...

You've just called me in for lunch and I can see you're waiting to drain a pan of vegetables over the sink, but now seems the ideal time to stand in front of said sink and let the cold tap run for ages to make sure my glass of water is the perfect temperature.

@Stoptalkingtome

I do realise that you've asked me several times today if I would like to do some craft or spend some time together, but I'd like to do that now, five minutes before you cook tea, please. Oh my god, you never want to spend any time with me. You hate me, don't you.

When did my dd sneak away to your house? And does she think you don't love her either? bwahaha

Today’s offerings while trying to cook dinner which involved a spluttering, hot wok:

1. would you rather life on the sun and burn to death or live in the Artic and freeze to death?
2. did you know a person walks past approx 36 murderers in their lifetime? (!!!)