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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can see you are busy doing stuff involving sharp knives and hot things

258 replies

EastWestWhosBest · 26/04/2021 19:17

and are really busy but I’m going to stand here and witter on about something you really don’t care about and get in your way. Oh look, here is a YouTube video about it.

OP posts:
GappyValley · 26/04/2021 19:57

I am not totally convinced you were concentrating during that film, so I’m going to describe it back to you in excruciating detail.

Even though the film was only 2 hours long, this description will take me over 3hrs...

Oh, and if I say nothing, I’m not listening but if I say anything, I’m interrupting

PinkArt · 26/04/2021 19:58

Why is my dad in your kitchen?

YesPleaseMary · 26/04/2021 20:00

Oh, are you just about to use this bit of the kitchen worktop to dish up? Then I shall dump all my stuff here and huff if you protest.

MollysMummy2010 · 26/04/2021 20:02

Please send my husband home. He said hardly anything yesterday (too interested in snooker and cats on YouTube) and decided that 9pm when I was primed for Line of Duty was the time for a chat. Luckily no weapons were in my reach. Also does the cuddle thing when I time my wee and drink getting perfectly for adverts.......

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 26/04/2021 20:02

@EastWestWhosBest

See I assumed everyone would think I was talking about an 11 year old rather than a 47 year old man, but no, you too have been blessed.

‘Oh are you chopping something? I’m going to hug you now.’

I’m going to hug you now and then get all offended and insecure because you don’t hug me back.
Picnicatwankingrock · 26/04/2021 20:02

Is my DH cheating on me with you?

VladmirsPoutine · 26/04/2021 20:03

Sort of related but not - the ones who want to literally come up with a climate change solution, plump the pillows, put on a wash and check the thermostat just before we are meant to be leaving. That's right. We are all running late but alas, what of the polar bears!

Pandoraslastchance · 26/04/2021 20:06

Mine wait until I put my earphones in or try to eat something and then witter about some f1 thing or final fantasy(dh) or some random YouTube video(youngest) or a stupid bloody life hack(middle)

I clearly need to work harder on my resting fuck off face.

Hohoholymoley · 26/04/2021 20:06

I will try and hand you things when your hands are very obviously full, and be taken aback when you don't take the offered items

Hoppinggreen · 26/04/2021 20:06

I don’t generally want to stop whatever it is I am doing instantly to choose whether I would rather have feet for hands or hands for feet

But I will because you are my precious baby boy, even if you are several inches taller than me and are growing a tache

Outofexcuses · 26/04/2021 20:07

I am going to start telling you about something possibly important (it isn’t) then walk away while still talking so that you have to stop what you’re doing and scurry after me to find out just how not important it is.

Hesma · 26/04/2021 20:08

Would you like to see this roblox related tiktok? It’s hilarious (cue robot like voiceover of Lego figures) 🙄🙄🙄

Original poster
EastWestWhosBest · 26/04/2021 20:10

I’m going to hug you now and then get all offended and insecure because you don’t hug me back.

Oh this. All the time this.

OP posts:
MixedUpFiles · 26/04/2021 20:11

In today’s episode of young child or DH.....

Original poster
EastWestWhosBest · 26/04/2021 20:11

@MixedUpFiles

In today’s episode of young child or DH.....
😂
OP posts:
DustCentral · 26/04/2021 20:16

Sorry? You wanted to walk into the room that you’ve been going in and out of for 20 minutes doing housework related things? Wouldn’t you rather I position myself in the perfect doorway/angle so as to block your path while I stand talking about some random bollocks? And when you walk towards me to get past wouldn’t you prefer it if I just didn’t move and instead stare at you gormlessly? Angry

SuddenArborealStop · 26/04/2021 20:16

You need a spoon? Let me block the drawer.

A pot you say? Let me block the cupboard.

Oh I'll just head to the fridge with my insane ability to know where you'll be next and block it unnecessarily Angry

AmberItsACertainty · 26/04/2021 20:16

Oooh so this is why DP rarely comes back before 8.30...he's out there busily annoying the fuck out of the rest of the universe too! Wink

I know you're all calm and quietly sleepy and pretty much ready for bed having successfully tamed your insomnia into submission tonight...but before you go, have I told you that this person who you don't like because they don't give a shit about you and make it really clear so you know it, is feeling so so stressed today with a self inflicted problem, its awful isn't it, don't you feel sorry for them too?

ipswichwitch · 26/04/2021 20:17

After hours of radio silence, I’m going to wait until you’ve finally sat down for tea and actually got the first fork full of food into your mouth to ask you some bullshit question, then get huffy because you can’t/won’t answer immediately.
And that’s pretty much everyone in my house - the kids clearly get it off their dad 🙄

Shinyletsbebadguys · 26/04/2021 20:19

Blimey your house must be busy because apparently you have my DP and both of my DS there today. I would say send them home...but actually can you keep them for a bit ?

Actually DP is away this week and it's amazing how much faster I make dinner when he doesn't feel the need to get tin the way the second i pick up the kettle or the knife , open the oven...breathe.

It's ok though the two DS have decided to keep my sanity teetering on the brink in his absence. No please DC do keep talking at me in a hellfire born tag team collaboration just as I attempt to send an important email despite having been doing something....anything else....for the ten minutes beforehand.

In my house there must be a silent alarm that gets triggered the instant I try to concentrate on anything.

It must be next to the alarm that alerts the entire household that I am in the loo / bath and therefore they all instantly need to use that one and not the other one Hmm

DustCentral · 26/04/2021 20:20

Also... I thought you’d like it if I yelled at you from the other end of the house on another floor to ask where my favourite top is. You know the top I mean. I decided it was my favourite 30 seconds ago despite it being shoved under my bed for 3 months with a stain on it. Are you surprised I roll my eyes and angrily stomp away to slam the nearest door when you don’t instantly a). hear me from that distance and b). know what fucking top I’m on about or where it is Hmm AND had the audacity not to have it washed and ironed for me!!!!

TheMoth · 26/04/2021 20:20

I was actually talking about an 11 year oldGrin

StealthPolarBear · 26/04/2021 20:24

Telling you what we need from the shops when you have pen in hand and list in front of you would be no challenge. I'm going t eat until you're engrossed in some thing that requires concentration and then yell items at random at you.

MissJeanLouise · 26/04/2021 20:25

I’m going to interrupt you telling me what the plan is for this afternoon to ask what the plan is for this afternoon: 90% of every 7/8 year old in my class.

See also: interrupting me showing you how to multiply 2-digit numbers to tell me you don’t know how to multiply 2-digit numbers/ interrupting me explaining where to find the equipment we need for art by asking where the equipment we need for art is/ interrupting pretty much any explanation of any task we need to complete to tell me your hamster was sick last month and your bogeys look a funny colour 🤣

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 26/04/2021 20:25

I can see you're doing dangerous things. But if my step sister could just stand directly behind your left heel whilst in a meditative state with an expression rather like a stunned mullet, I shall sit on the table I'm not allowed on simultaneously judging your performance in the choppy-up stakes and reminding you that all animal products have to be sampled by me, preferably in the raw state, to protect against poison.

I will then wait until the second you turn with the Very Hot Thing and stand on my noisy step sister then, as you step-hop sideways and backwards with a FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK and she emits a MRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW loud enough to wake the dinosaurs of the Permian Period, I will leap directly across the path you are taking to try and regain your balance and remonstrate with you about the absence of fresh food in our bowls for at least the last ten minutes.

And then the Male Human will ask if you're alright before walking into chaos and deciding now is the perfect time for him to start emptying the washing machine with a YouTube accompaniment, headphones so he can't hear you and then leave you standing in the living room, holding his plate as he wanders off back upstairs to 'put something away' and immediately starts to check his email.

But don't worry, I know where you can hide corpses. Just check your boots before you put them on to go into the garden first, though. Don't worry, I'll bring you in another one once you're finally sitting down with your dinner.

Myself, my half sister and the Male Human both really like the open plan layout of downstairs. For some reason, you don't seem to be quite so keen on it, though?