Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


Varicose veins and 'd'p ...

173 replies

AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 16:37

This sounds really stupid even writing this but we're having a disagreement and I figure the sharp minds of aibu can help settle it.

I never have my legs out, ever, I have real body confidence issues. I'm a bit over weight (size 16 and 5'11) but I've lost 2 dress sizes in the last year.

I've been wearing shorts today, just normal 'mum' shorts. I felt really proud of myself for even buying them and personally I'm sick of being hot and covered up when it's warm out. I was planning on heading out in a few to pick up a few bits my shorts.

I've just sat down for 10 minutes next to dp and he's talking about something, half way through he says "you need to put your legs away that vein is awful". I basically said ..what? "You should cover up your leg the vein is freaking me out".

I've reiterated the "what?" With something along the lines of what I've said to you guys, that the one time I have my legs out he picks on my vein and makes me feel really crap. I realised that with the way I'm sitting he can't even see the dreaded vein. To which he's explained that he can see all my other veins and he saw THE vein when I was putting moisturiser on a bit ago. He's called me sensitive and thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion. I think he's a dick.

( I understand this sounds childish but I'm genuinely curious as to whether I'm sensitive or not)

Also, I developed the vein during pregnancy with his child...

Go on, let me have it.

OP posts:

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 26/04/2021 16:38

He sounds like a twat. Start pointing out his flaws.


SpringSparrow · 26/04/2021 16:40

It’s not you , it’s him. What a nasty person he is pointing out something you are sensitive about 😡


ShinyGreenElephant · 26/04/2021 16:41

Horrible twat. Is he perfect? Fuck him I bet you look fab in your shorts


AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 16:41

Thank you. I might just do that, he does have quite a few Hmm

OP posts:

AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 16:43

Thank you everyone. I've been coming to the conclusion that he's emotionally abusive but with my screwy childhood I find it really difficult to understand that sometimes it's not actually me and it is in fact the other persons fault if you know what I mean.

OP posts:

SnarkyBag · 26/04/2021 16:44

He’s a cunt. I have a horrible vein from pregnancy and like you NEVER get my legs out except on the beach abroad. DH who is the least sensitive person I know would never comment. In fact he’s always saying to jus my put shorts on in the garden


littlepeas · 26/04/2021 16:44

My mouth actually fell open reading that. Angry


BuyYourOwnBBQGlenda · 26/04/2021 16:45

Wow that's truly disgusting. Horrendous. I hope you have a long hard think about how much more time you want to give someone who treats you like that. Enjoy your shorts.


uhtredsonofuhtred1 · 26/04/2021 16:46

That is awful! Even my horribly abusive exH wouldn't have done/said something so personal and cruel. Your partner should be your biggest supporter not someone who tears you down like that.


EKGEMS · 26/04/2021 16:47

Omg-I had to have my right greater saphenous vein surgically removed fifteen years ago at age 32 due to severe varicose vein pain and I was extremely self conscious of it and avoided shorts until then but had my hubby said anything to me like your partner he'd be an ex or I'd kick him out the house with my bad leg and tell him it's physical therapy-you deserve far better


AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 16:49

I'm going to be honest but I'm truly shocked at the reactions here. I've been with him for 8 years now and this is such a minor thing that he's said compared to other stuff I was even debating that it warranted a reaction at all :/.

OP posts:

Shoxfordian · 26/04/2021 17:07

He sounds like a knob


itbemay1 · 26/04/2021 17:09

That's awful. I'm a size 18, many varicose veins and very wobbly thighs but I wear shorts and even a bikini on holiday, DH would never say a word, in fact he tells me I look lovely even though I know I'm fat and wobbly! Your DH sounds like an arse, considering your last post id LTB! You deserve better.


LunaMuffinTop · 26/04/2021 17:15

Wear your shorts be proud of your body including your legs and ditch the twat dp you can do better than him.


PrudenceDictates · 26/04/2021 17:18

That is awful. I'm sorry you don't have support from someone who should be giving it to you. I doubt he's an Adonis.

My DD has terrible scars on her legs that she would hide, even though she's sporty and slim. She got a lovely new BF last year who encouraged her to put on her shorts/bikini/whatever on holiday and said fuck what anyone else thinks.
That's how it should be.


DrinkFeckArseBrick · 26/04/2021 17:18

OP would you say anything like this to a friend in a million years? No because its nasty and uncalled for and rude. Which makes it even worse when it comes from someone who is supposed to love you


Orgasmagorical · 26/04/2021 17:26

I've been coming to the conclusion that he's emotionally abusive

Me too, and that's just with your first post. Abusers will call you sensitive if you call them up on whatever bad behaviour they're dishing out. They always turn it round to be your fault.

Do you want to talk about the other stuff he does? Flowers


Aprilshowersandhail · 26/04/2021 17:27

Next time he is naked say urgh put that away it's disgusting...


InkieNecro · 26/04/2021 17:30

As stated, he is horrible. Do you want to spend your life hearing that or do you want to spend your life being told your partner thinks you're amazing?

I'd suggest counselling, but if this is minor compared to other things then I think you know what you need to do.


AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 17:32

Sorry, I will be back in a little bit just sorting the child's dinner and bedtime x thanks all

OP posts:

Aisforharlot · 26/04/2021 17:33

Fuck him, I bet you look great.


year5teacher · 26/04/2021 17:35

This is completely unacceptable; if my partner said this I would be devastated and it would be completely out of character. He has never, ever, ever said a bad word about the way I look. And that’s exactly how it should be.


WilsonMilson · 26/04/2021 17:39

Urgh that’s just so, so bloody awful.

I too am very self conscious of my legs - they are skinny and veiny, not a good combo. I never ever wear shorts, even on holiday. Only at the beach or by the pool would I ever feel comfortable enough to show them.

My DH would never say anything detrimental about my legs or anything else, always compliments me, especially about things that I’m self conscious about.

Your dp sounds awful. That’s so abusive and upsetting. Please keep wearing your shorts.


LayTheTableMabel · 26/04/2021 17:40

You deserve so much better than this. Just wow. What a nasty comment


AdoraBell · 26/04/2021 17:42

BIL said something similar to his ex wife. Note, ex wife, she dumped his sorry arse a few years later.

YANBU, not over sensitive either.

In your case I would tell your P to his personality away.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?