Varicose veins and 'd'p ...
AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 16:37
This sounds really stupid even writing this but we're having a disagreement and I figure the sharp minds of aibu can help settle it.
I never have my legs out, ever, I have real body confidence issues. I'm a bit over weight (size 16 and 5'11) but I've lost 2 dress sizes in the last year.
I've been wearing shorts today, just normal 'mum' shorts. I felt really proud of myself for even buying them and personally I'm sick of being hot and covered up when it's warm out. I was planning on heading out in a few to pick up a few bits ..in my shorts.
I've just sat down for 10 minutes next to dp and he's talking about something, half way through he says "you need to put your legs away that vein is awful". I basically said ..what? "You should cover up your leg the vein is freaking me out".
I've reiterated the "what?" With something along the lines of what I've said to you guys, that the one time I have my legs out he picks on my vein and makes me feel really crap. I realised that with the way I'm sitting he can't even see the dreaded vein. To which he's explained that he can see all my other veins and he saw THE vein when I was putting moisturiser on a bit ago. He's called me sensitive and thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion. I think he's a dick.
( I understand this sounds childish but I'm genuinely curious as to whether I'm sensitive or not)
Also, I developed the vein during pregnancy with his child...
Go on, let me have it.
AnxiousWeirdo · 26/04/2021 16:43
Thank you everyone. I've been coming to the conclusion that he's emotionally abusive but with my screwy childhood I find it really difficult to understand that sometimes it's not actually me and it is in fact the other persons fault if you know what I mean.
EKGEMS · 26/04/2021 16:47
Omg-I had to have my right greater saphenous vein surgically removed fifteen years ago at age 32 due to severe varicose vein pain and I was extremely self conscious of it and avoided shorts until then but had my hubby said anything to me like your partner he'd be an ex or I'd kick him out the house with my bad leg and tell him it's physical therapy-you deserve far better
itbemay1 · 26/04/2021 17:09
That's awful. I'm a size 18, many varicose veins and very wobbly thighs but I wear shorts and even a bikini on holiday, DH would never say a word, in fact he tells me I look lovely even though I know I'm fat and wobbly! Your DH sounds like an arse, considering your last post id LTB! You deserve better.
PrudenceDictates · 26/04/2021 17:18
That is awful. I'm sorry you don't have support from someone who should be giving it to you. I doubt he's an Adonis.
My DD has terrible scars on her legs that she would hide, even though she's sporty and slim. She got a lovely new BF last year who encouraged her to put on her shorts/bikini/whatever on holiday and said fuck what anyone else thinks.
That's how it should be.
Orgasmagorical · 26/04/2021 17:26
I've been coming to the conclusion that he's emotionally abusive
Me too, and that's just with your first post. Abusers will call you sensitive if you call them up on whatever bad behaviour they're dishing out. They always turn it round to be your fault.
Do you want to talk about the other stuff he does?
InkieNecro · 26/04/2021 17:30
As stated, he is horrible. Do you want to spend your life hearing that or do you want to spend your life being told your partner thinks you're amazing?
I'd suggest counselling, but if this is minor compared to other things then I think you know what you need to do.
WilsonMilson · 26/04/2021 17:39
Urgh that’s just so, so bloody awful.
I too am very self conscious of my legs - they are skinny and veiny, not a good combo. I never ever wear shorts, even on holiday. Only at the beach or by the pool would I ever feel comfortable enough to show them.
My DH would never say anything detrimental about my legs or anything else, always compliments me, especially about things that I’m self conscious about.
Your dp sounds awful. That’s so abusive and upsetting. Please keep wearing your shorts.
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