Varicose veins and 'd'p ...

[AnxiousWeirdo]

This sounds really stupid even writing this but we're having a disagreement and I figure the sharp minds of aibu can help settle it.

I never have my legs out, ever, I have real body confidence issues. I'm a bit over weight (size 16 and 5'11) but I've lost 2 dress sizes in the last year.

I've been wearing shorts today, just normal 'mum' shorts. I felt really proud of myself for even buying them and personally I'm sick of being hot and covered up when it's warm out. I was planning on heading out in a few to pick up a few bits ..in my shorts.

I've just sat down for 10 minutes next to dp and he's talking about something, half way through he says "you need to put your legs away that vein is awful". I basically said ..what? "You should cover up your leg the vein is freaking me out".

I've reiterated the "what?" With something along the lines of what I've said to you guys, that the one time I have my legs out he picks on my vein and makes me feel really crap. I realised that with the way I'm sitting he can't even see the dreaded vein. To which he's explained that he can see all my other veins and he saw THE vein when I was putting moisturiser on a bit ago. He's called me sensitive and thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion. I think he's a dick.

( I understand this sounds childish but I'm genuinely curious as to whether I'm sensitive or not)

Also, I developed the vein during pregnancy with his child...

Go on, let me have it.

[BringMeTea]

You look gorgeous in that dress. He is an abuser. You are going to be free of him soon. Keep going...

[JetBlackSteed]

You look lovely in that dress. I agree he's jealous.
Don't let him grind you down.

[Shoxfordian]

You look beautiful
Dump him if you haven’t yet

[ItsAllBlahBlahBlah]

OP your DP is a complete tit. You look amazing. What a twat for pointing out something you are sensitive about...😡 But what a blind twat for not seeing what he has in front of him... I would love to have your figure. And the vein for that matter although I could swap you for all of my shitty ones

Good for you I say.

[ItsAllBlahBlahBlah]

Sorry. Language. I've had a crap day at work and too much wine

[Bootikin]

OP, so sorry, LTB.

Put yourself five years into the future without this wanker.

Your life will be so much better! Freedom, happiness,
peace.

[Elsiebear90]

You look gorgeous, your husband is an abusive dick, he’s putting you down so you feel like you don’t deserve better and that you’re lucky to have him, he’s eroding your confidence because he knows he’s a shit partner and if you thought more of yourself you would see this and that you deserve someone a lot better. I’m really glad you’re starting to see him for who he really is.

[Sharonthecat]

He's being horrible about that dress because you look absolutely stunning in it, and he can't handle it because he is a dick.

I bet he's absolutely panic stricken, seeing you improve your life in so many ways, and realising your own worth.

I really do hope you leave him

[airforsharon]

It sounds like the vein comment has been the final straw :/ I had similar with my ex - 2 pregnancies left me with a fecking huge VV in my left leg. I'm very very fair skinned so it was very obvious. I had to have it treated via injections as it was painful. Ex said the vein made him feel 'uurgh' and i wasn't to mention it - if i did, he'd grimace and pull 'sick' faces (i'm strictly a jeans person so it was rarely on show).

Honestly, it helped kill my feelings for him. I had 2 difficult pregnancies including a twins pregnancy, 2 c-sections, a massive haemorrhage in 1st pregnancy, God knows how many scans & blood tests and several hospital stays....and we now have 3 beautiful kids that my body grew. And that was his response to something resulting from those pregnancies that was causing me pain.

So, fuck 'em!

[beefest]

You look beautiful in that dress and I'm sure you look just as lovely in a pair of shorts.
I'm mid 30's, have a few veins on my legs but I wear shorts all summer. Learn to love the skin you're in and who gives a sh*t about what anyone else thinks!

[AnxiousWeirdo]

You are all absolutely amazing people

[ViciousJackdaw]

Hang on a min, that's you in the pic? You're bloody gorgeous!

What a miserable, abusive, po-faced, ungrateful fuckwit you have the misfortune to live with. I'm glad he's a P and not an H (he does not deserve the 'D'). Yes, please leave him as soon as you feel able. MN is always here for support - yes, it can be a real viper's nest at times (and I admit to being rather hissy myself...) but in situations like this, the site can be invaluable.

[VimFuego101]

You look absolutely gorgeous in that dress. I think he's trying to keep your confidence beaten down so you won't leave again.

[littlepattilou]

Oh wow @AnxiousWeirdo From your pictures you look gorgeous. Lovely figure, nice lips, nice hair, great dress!

YEP! Your partner is negging you because you look so good!

Bastard!

[Orgasmagorical]

I'm with everyone else - WOW! You are gorgeous and so is the dress! That confirms my knowledge suspicion that he is trying to put you down and make you feel bad because you look so good - he is threatened.

I'm loving that you're feeling so strong but please do be careful. I'm assuming from what you're saying now that you have no fear of him?

[AnxiousWeirdo]

Honestly, I've never feared him physically, he has got all up in my face and threatened to at times but I've always come back at him and he's always back down. I raged out at his dad one morning (poor bloke didn't know what hit him) and he hasn't done it since so he must have said something about it.

He seems really thrown by me at the moment and keeps cleaning and sorting things out. I've put my foot down twice today already, once about the jeans I'm wearing (he picks on those) and about going to get his parcel.. which I'm not doing.

[AnxiousWeirdo]

I meant to add that he's just worn me down, my confidence is shot, I felt like I needed his approval for everything, I'd ask if I dyed my hair etc etc, I'd apologise if I hadn't gotten around to washing up or whatever it was. I've been so anxious and depressed for so long, I did a course on zoom last week and it's like a cloud has lifted.

[Orgasmagorical]

I'm so pleased to hear that, Anxious (you'll need to change your name soon ). It'll make the splitting all the easier if you feel safe enough.

Once you are out of the fog you wonder how on earth you kowtowed so much but it happens so slowly.

Good that he's cleaning and sorting things out! Wouldn't it be great if he was packing too ...

[Orgasmagorical]

Your confidence will come back - tenfold!

[AnxiousWeirdo]

Wouldn't it be great if he was packing too ...

We can dream right 😂

[RootBeerFloat43]

Wasn't going to comment on this thread but had to after seeing the picture...wow, you look absolutely stunning in that dress! If he said he didn't like it, he was obviously messing with your head. Sounds and looks like you can do a lot better than him. I hope you find a way to happiness.

[TheChosenTwo]

Haha! You’re a hottie and he’s jealous and insecure!! It’s classic textbook really. Bellend.
Carry on looking fabulous and hopefully more confident

[susiebluebell]

Yes, soon you will have to change your name to CONFIDENTweirdo!

[MissM94]

He's a horrible man, my legs are covered in varicose veins and my partner encourages me to get them out and he massages them when they're aching and always makes sure I don't feel embarrassed when they're out.. you deserve better 💕

[grapewine]

@AnxiousWeirdo

I meant to add that he's just worn me down, my confidence is shot, I felt like I needed his approval for everything, I'd ask if I dyed my hair etc etc, I'd apologise if I hadn't gotten around to washing up or whatever it was. I've been so anxious and depressed for so long, I did a course on zoom last week and it's like a cloud has lifted.

Good. He sounds a twat. I hope you can regain your confidence enough to realise that you deserve better and then go get it.