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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boasting In-Laws

190 replies

Coo5 · 25/04/2021 18:12

I'm genuinely shocked that an in-law family member of mine has taken to social media, specifically Facebook, to brag about being mortgage free, at a fairly young age. We knew they were, but it seems in such poor taste, even more so in the middle of a pandemic when families are struggling. My ewww factor is off the charts, I thought she had class.

OP posts:
MilduraS · 25/04/2021 23:16

Ignoring the awful bragging, they're opening themselves up to fraud. There were a couple of articles in the law gazette a few years ago about people having their mortgage free properties sold from under them by fraudsters. Without a charge on the property there are no banks doing extra security checks so it's much easier to sell a property with forged documents. They need to set up a property alert with the land registry ASAP.

apooagnuandyou · 25/04/2021 23:16

I couldn't give a st whether the thread is going my way,
clearly...

rarat · 25/04/2021 23:18

If you'd opened with how upset your husband is about the death of his mother and therefore it was in poor taste, instead of 'ewww-ing' about class etc, you might've had some different responses

Why would she have got different responses? Wouldn't the same criticisms of "jealousy", "bitterness", "she can post what she wants" apply?

Footloosefancyfree · 25/04/2021 23:19

You sound vile

Suffolkpunch345 · 25/04/2021 23:19

@SeasonFinale

Her facebook page, her choice.

Personally I feel it isn't great when a family member comes on to a forum to slag off another family member even if anonymously.

You definitely do this kind of sh*t.

It’s cringeworthy! Cringey as hell. I’m cringing for you and all the other people that over share.

rarat · 25/04/2021 23:21

I honestly had no idea that the over sharers were so hostile to criticism. I mean you don't have to open the thread if it's a trigger, just scroll past!

Original poster
Coo5 · 25/04/2021 23:31

As soon as you stand up for yourself in here, that awful pack mentality kicks in, I mean let's face it, some of these posters are just being arses for the pure fun of it, and hey if that's what floats your boat, who am I to judge, but going full circle. She bragged indirectly about their financial position, at the expense of our family losing someone dear, whatever way you wrap it up, is outrageous, and if it really sits better with you naysayers that I am indeed jealous, does that then make it ok? Hope none of you are ever put in that situation.

OP posts:
cafenoirbiscuit · 25/04/2021 23:41

I’m with you, OP. I’d rather have a loved one and be mortgaged up to the hilt. Certainly wouldn’t brag about my good fortune in this circumstance. Hope your DH is ok.

NSA2103 · 26/04/2021 00:17

Solution: don't use FB.

HollowTalk · 26/04/2021 00:33

@emilyfrost It's a bit much calling it celebratory news if it's the result of somebody dying.

CaraherEIL · 26/04/2021 00:41

Everyone should have listened to Lola. She correctly predicted this thread disaster. Plus, she’s so smiley.

Beelzebop · 26/04/2021 01:07

It is her FB page, so free to post as she wishes. However, people post for OTHERS to see. I would be worrying I would hurt someone's feelings ( and everyone would know it was a dirty lie 🤣).

Astella22 · 26/04/2021 01:36

Begrudgery.... Jesus let the girl celebrate ffs. Why can people not be happy for each other. I assume her post was directed at ‘friends’
Bet ur the type to bang in about being kind also

Orchidflower1 · 26/04/2021 06:29

@Coo5 I’m totally with you. So sorry for your dh loss. We lost my great aunt yesterday. My df may well receive some inheritance. Would he rather his aunt were here- of course. Would he shout about any money and upset his cousins- no way!!

@emilyfrost bloody hell have you got over your Aldi snobbery and brought a caterpillar cake to sling at op too?

Orchidflower1 · 26/04/2021 06:33

@CaraherEIL

Everyone should have listened to Lola. She correctly predicted this thread disaster. Plus, she’s so smiley.
Her name was Lola she was so righhhhht ( she’s not a showgirl) She’s waving yellow feathers to show shes righhhht.

Sorry Barry slight switch up of the words but @LolaSmiles nailed it page one!

YehVaadaRaha · 26/04/2021 06:34

Slagging family off even if "in law by marriage" and on an anonymous forum because they did something you won't do is never classy! It's the worst attitude. Live and let live.

Bluntness100 · 26/04/2021 06:43

Ok, you clearly hate your sister in law.

You ashen and livid husband scrolling his sister in laws face book when working is a seperate issue. I mean if she was really posing champagne glass in hand bragging, then I guess her husband, his brother would habe something to say, or is he as bad and you hate them both?

I think there is a way on face book to mute people so you don’t see them, maybe this would be better for you and your husband going forward?

frazzledasarock · 26/04/2021 06:50

I can understand how you may be feeling. You’re grieving for the relative who has passed away and the IL is plastering pictures of themselves celebrating at being mortgage free all over their social media.

Put IL on restricted view so you don’t see their post on your newsfeed.

I’m sorry for your loss.

FizzyApricot · 26/04/2021 06:57

Read your updates, it's even worse than I thought. Your poor DH. Someone is basically celebrating their death has bought them money!

R1ce0fcal1fl0wer · 26/04/2021 07:09

It is a strange world
Recently someone put on FB that they were retiring
Same job since school & in their early 50s
They received lots of Happy comments

But saying you are mortgage free is a no go subject

This person is also mortgage free

KarensChoppyBob · 26/04/2021 07:13

I take it they weren't retiring as a direct result of someone's death?

KarensChoppyBob · 26/04/2021 07:14

Tact and sensitivity anyone?

rarat · 26/04/2021 07:19

Slagging family off even if "in law by marriage" and on an anonymous forum because they did something you won't do is never classy! It's the worst attitude. Live and let live.

Why is this the worst attitude? I'm genuinely perplexed by this as AIBU is littered with posts about family/inlaw behaviour & I never see a poster getting told the above

JensonsAcolyte · 26/04/2021 07:28

I’m assuming the death was a while ago, assuming there was probate etc and a property to sell.

The SIL (and husband!) were celebrating the actual paying off of the mortgage, not the circumstances of receiving the money.

It’s not exactly dancing on a grave.

I hope you are planning to donate your inheritance to charity or something, god forbid you should enjoy your ill gotten gains.

Ch0c0h0licChum · 26/04/2021 07:34

I'm going to mortgage free this year, I'm counting down
Not due to inheritance
I was aided by redundancy, but I secured another job
I wish I could tell people in real life
It is also not the first time that I've been mortgage free

I will only be celebrating with my close family