AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

All the children’s birthdays are on the wall in my DC’s classes and in the weekly newsletter they get a happy birthday and their name printed.

I have never met any Muslims who don't celebrate birthdays. Only once did one of my daughter's friends have her birthday celebration delayed one year because it fell during Ramadan.
The only people I have known to not celebrate birthdays are those who are Jehovah Witnesses.

There have been some rather odd posts from adults ranting about being an August birthday and “missing out”. Sorry but still don’t agree that ignoring every kids birthday is the answer to that! Throwing the baby out with the bath water there ...

Speaking as a primary school teacher, you are being massively unreasonable.

I have no clue of the DOBs of my class. I could tell you approximately what season each is born in, as we collect that data due to Summer borns often making less progress.

But unless a child comes in wearing a badge, or otherwise tells me it's their birthday, I wouldn't have a scooby.

Your child is just one of 30 other precious little angels. Get over yourself.

Wow you sound lovely! So glad none of children’s teachers were anything like this!

LesserBother: *It's fairly normal for people to announce their birthday (and bring cakes) at every place I've ever worked. If you didn't announce your own people would presume you didn't want a fuss and it wouldn't be mentioned.

I wonder if that has happened here, teachers expect a child to mention it if they want it acknowledged and the fact that it hasn't been mentioned has been interpreted as the child not wanting a fuss. I hated having happy birthday sung to me as a child.*

ENTIRELY agree!

I wonder if the child had his jumper over his badge precisely because he didn't want everyone at school drawing attention to his birthday.

Pretty much all my extended family are teachers and none would ever speak about their pupils like that. “Precious little angels” horrible. I think you need a career break.

Again people are missing out the point that not knowing doesn't necessarily mean not celebrating.

Most posters that don't know have said they do celebrate when they are informed one way or another.

Even some posters that have displays and what not admit that sometimes they forget /don't check them for various reasons and rely on the children to remind them.

OP's child situation is unusual because he didn't say anything to his teacher or classmates, his classmates didn't say anything, there were no sweets or other indicators, and the one thing that would've made everyone aware he hid under his jumper. A specific set of circumstances contributed to this and it doesn't mean the teacher is a crap one who doesn't care.

I can't quite believe that your child didn't mention it to the teacher - children at school normally tell me repeatedly that it's their birthday in x number of days in the week/month year coming up to it...

We used to get just a ‘happy birthday’ from teacher and class. They are a big deal at that age. People are being quite mean here. (Mind you we used to get a carton of milk every day as well back then ).

Judging by the responses these days it seems to be an individual thing with some teachers noting birthdays and others not. I am surprised though.

@LadyMonicaBaddingham

I can't quite believe that your child didn't mention it to the teacher - children at school normally tell me repeatedly that it's their birthday in x number of days in the week/month year coming up to it...

Don't forget the dogs birthday and granny's birthday

The teacher is there to teach your kid not worry about birthdays fgs

@MrsBadcrumble123

The teacher is there to teach your kid not worry about birthdays fgs

Every primary teacher I've known has managed to do both. The idea that primary teachers are just there to teach is rather silly.

@IbrahimaRedTwo quite! I we aren’t just there to teach, we are there to parent, support, play nurse, play doctor basically anything we can do to help that child feel nurtured...teaching doesn’t actually happen...let’s face it most of the media treated the primary sector virtually like babysitters during the lockdowns...and the amount of abuse primary teachers like myself get is utterly appalling! And on top of making sure ofsted stay off our backs by getting good data we somehow have to manage remembering 30 birthdays off the top of our heads...but all we are there to do is teach and remember birthdays!!

They only know if they go in with a birthday badge on, so if you wish their teacher to wish them happy birthday then buy a badge. It’s not the done thing in most schools for teachers to know birthdays. I’m sure some might take it upon themselves or some schools may celebrate them but most don’t

Pull the other one.

@Darbs76

They only know if they go in with a birthday badge on, so if you wish their teacher to wish them happy birthday then buy a badge. It’s not the done thing in most schools for teachers to know birthdays. I’m sure some might take it upon themselves or some schools may celebrate them but most don’t

How on earth would you know this?! I can’t think of any school I’ve worked in or have links to where they wouldn’t but I still wouldn’t make a generalisation based on that.

I really feel some people have no sense of how much a good teacher has to know and remember. That they have lost sight of what the job a teacher actually is. It’s lovely if the teacher remembers all children’s birthday and if so good for them. Most will always say happy birthday If they remember and the vast majority of children will tell you. I know all the children’s siblings, their family situations and how it might impact them in a daily basis. The children’s barriers to learning and implement strategies to support them. I know what their next steps are to learning across the curriculum and what they are really good at, I know what most of them do for fun out of school and can talk about that with them. I know medical conditions and ensure they are safe and happy coming to school. Please don’t ever say I don’t care about the children because I don’t know all of their birthdays off by heart. I know all the children in my class feel valued, knowing birthdays is not how this is achieved. We are not allowed to have birthdays on display anywhere, I am a full time classroom teacher with no TA and lots of leadership responsibilities so in all honesty the chances of having time to check a display are pretty small anyway. Please don’t ever say teachers don’t care because they don’t know 30 birthdays off by heart.

💯 this

At my primary school all our teachers mafe a point of noticing when it was each child's birthday. In the days of digital calendars uts not a big deal to remembe especially for the shy kids or ones from difficult homes when dont get made a fuss of. Failing that a weekly happy birthday for e eryone seems a good compromise.

Don’t know why teachers making such a big deal out of it “having to remember 30 birthdays”🙄. Make a month chart on the wall and put the kids birthday on it. Why would that be not allowed? That’s what’s been done at every primary school I’ve ever had dealings with!

@MsTSwift

Don’t know why teachers making such a big deal out of it “having to remember 30 birthdays”🙄. Make a month chart on the wall and put the kids birthday on it. Why would that be not allowed? That’s what’s been done at every primary school I’ve ever had dealings with!

You really do show no compassion do you!! I doubt you even like teachers!!! I wonder why? How ever many times it’s been said on this thread we just don’t have time to check a display on the off chance it might be a child’s birthday, believe it or not it isn’t part of our job...funnily enough we educate children...who’d have thought it???

@Italiandreams 💯 spot on and embellished a little on what I said earlier!!

Why would the teacher know? At the beginning of the year I have a class list with names and DoB, but I don’t study it daily or spend time entering each BD on my phone.
Pre Covid, children would come in with bags of sweets or cake, but we’re currently not allowed to hand them out. If a child comes in with a badge, or announces that it’s their birthday, we will find time to sing. If they don’t mention it, then we don’t.

We are not allowed the children birthdays displayed in our classrooms, it is school policy due to GDPR and I know of other schools with the same rule. I also barely have time to go to the toilet so the chances of checking the wall each day are pretty small.

Well the world has gone officially mad. If those in charge of young children are “too busy” to mark their birthdays and you can’t put birthdays on the wall due to legislation 🙄🙄 well I give up. What a sad state of affairs!

No I dont feel sorry for teachers why would I? I feel sorry for the children having to spend their childhood in joyless places where you don’t even have your birthday noted by the adults in charge when you are 6! Somethings been lost here.