AIBU to expect a teacher (primary) to know my DC DOB and congratulate on the day?

[LardiLaLardiLi]

My DS had a birthday today and his teacher hasn't said anything. I'm not sure if it's a done thing to congratulate kids in class on their birthday, though. It was when I was in school (different country). He said the school didn't know it was his BD today (he was there since nursery) and he said it didn't bother him, but he's quite shy and difficult to read, so I think he was hurt but wouldn't admit it.
WIBU to expect a teacher to say "Happy Birthday"? And would you drop a line to the teacher to remind them?

[HercwasanEnemyofEducation]

Celebrating birthday's isn't forbidden. Displaying them now is. I'm not sure that's crackpot, seems sensible.

[Supergirl1958]

@MsTSwift

I didn’t vote for this government and think the lack of funding appalling and have tried to address this personally at some personal cost.

I feel compassion for those that need it a profession of adults isn’t top of the list sorry.

Yes I do think it’s a shame that things that make life enjoyable for children are forbidden by crackpot legislation.

I’m yet to come across a teacher who did vote for this government...I certainly didn’t!! But we are having more and more put on us with less and less support, and the hours we work I may as well get a job down the supermarket at my per hour pay will be more than I get currently and I’ll get to spend MORE time with my own child, and I won’t have people like you scrutinising my every move without basic compassion! Teachers aren’t robots, they are humans with families and a life!!

When the manifesto came out and it showed funding for areas, SEN was one of the areas in which it lacked funding by the time my little boy goes to school in a few years! My sons generation are going to lack support, and the education system will continue to lose some of its best teachers because of the system you talk about...people who’ve worked hard for years and years to educate future generations just dropping out of a career they’ve strived for...but continue...please!

[Supergirl1958]

@EmeraldShamrock

Nowhere in this thread has any teacher said they are too busy to mark birthdays!!!
I'm not going to RTFT again to highlight copy/paste. I assure you many teachers said they don't have time to mark birthdays.

I don’t think they have said that. They’ve all said they’d celebrate if a child said it was their birthday...I’ve read through the majority of the thread! Marking a birthday and ensuring you know when a birthday is are two entirely different things!!

[Italiandreams]

I have seen many teachers say they don’t have time to check for birthdays, I haven’t seen anyone say they don’t say happy birthday and ask about it if the child mentions it. I really don’t think marking it beyond that is necessary.

[MsTSwift]

Gosh you sound utterly paranoid! I don’t “scrutinise teachers” my kids primary teachers largely fab a few excellent and I barely troubled them bar buying them the odd meal voucher. But I think it’s sad to vociferously defend not acknowledging little kids birthdays. Odd this is so controversial!

[DancingQueen85]

I think this was your mistake. I wouldn't expect the teacher to remember but would let her know it was DC birthday so that it was acknowledged, either by a badge or sending in sweets for the class.

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@MsTSwift

Gosh you sound utterly paranoid! I don’t “scrutinise teachers” my kids primary teachers largely fab a few excellent and I barely troubled them bar buying them the odd meal voucher. But I think it’s sad to vociferously defend not acknowledging little kids birthdays. Odd this is so controversial!

Once again, not knowing a birthday is not the same as not acknowledging it.
Most teachers posting have said that even if they don't know them by heart they are made aware one way or another (like non uniform, badges,by having sweets to hand in, from the child,from the child's friends etc) and then they do acknowledge and celebrate in some way.

[Supergirl1958]

@MsTSwift

Gosh you sound utterly paranoid! I don’t “scrutinise teachers” my kids primary teachers largely fab a few excellent and I barely troubled them bar buying them the odd meal voucher. But I think it’s sad to vociferously defend not acknowledging little kids birthdays. Odd this is so controversial!

@MsTSwift when have I said anywhere in this thread that I defend not acknowledging a birthday! I have continually said that I don’t note down when a child’s birthday is, but that I do celebrate it if they tell me it’s their birthday which they do! We sing, talk about presents, cake, parties...etc! It’s a lot of fun! If that means I don’t acknowledge their birthday then your definition of acknowledge and mine are totally different!!

[CatarinaJ]

I wouldn't expect teachers to remember but mine wore a badge and they'd be noticed like that. I offered the badge to age 14 dd recently but she wasn't interested

[Supergirl1958]

@AccidentallyOnPurpose 👏👏!

I don’t know if @MsTSwift is deliberately ignoring such things and is just pedalling their own agenda! It’s getting rather tiresome now! It’s a beautiful day outside let’s all go an enjoy it ❤️

[FireflyRainbow]

Isn't that why we send them in with badges

[CatarinaJ]

Maybe as op's son hid his badge under his jumper he didn't want a fuss made

[EmeraldShamrock]

Once again, not knowing a birthday is not the same as not acknowledging it.
If for example there is a poor child who doesn't bring in sweets or wear a badge or a really shy child, wouldn't it be nice for if teacher knew and acknowledged the birthday quietly.
The songs and sweets are unnecessary and do waste time during school hours plus some DC can't afford too but a simple 2 words spoken quietly "happy birthday" could make their day.

[Disneyblue]

If a child wanted to let people know it was their birthday, they'd have a badge on and take in sweets. If they didn't, they wouldn't and so the teacher wouldn't need to worry about it.

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@EmeraldShamrock

Once again, not knowing a birthday is not the same as not acknowledging it.
If for example there is a poor child who doesn't bring in sweets or wear a badge or a really shy child, wouldn't it be nice for if teacher knew and acknowledged the birthday quietly.
The songs and sweets are unnecessary and do waste time during school hours plus some DC can't afford too but a simple 2 words spoken quietly "happy birthday" could make their day.

Obviously it's not impossible to miss a kid as it happened to OP's child , whether he was deliberate in hiding it or not. However, it is fairly unlikely to happen overall as several circumstances would have to coincide in order for that to happen.

I honestly find it odd that it happened in OP's case and I don't blame her for being worried that the child himself didn't say anything, hid his badge, his friends didn't say anything or even if he doesn't have any none of the other kids knew or said anything.

I'm not assigning any blame to the teacher as I don't think there's any to be had anywhere.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I don't think it was anyone's fault just an oversight.
OP I'd try build his confidence in other ways, maybe a team sport if he is suffering shyness.

[EmeraldShamrock]

If a child wanted to let people know it was their birthday, they'd have a badge on and take in sweets. If they didn't, they wouldn't and so the teacher wouldn't need to worry about it. Not all parents can afford sweets to take in. I'm going to be a real misery and suggest sweets should be banned. It doesn't really happen in Ireland, maybe one DC every few years will bring in party bags.

[SionnachRua]

Not all parents can afford sweets to take in. I'm going to be a real misery and suggest sweets should be banned. It doesn't really happen in Ireland, maybe one DC every few years will bring in party bags.

Hard disagree on that, I teach in Ireland and I'd say at least 50% of kids bring in a pack of sweets to share around on their birthday. It may vary from school to school.

[EmeraldShamrock]

It obviously does vary from school to school, both schools my DC attended are heavy handed on healthy eating, they're allowed a treat on a Friday, school organises any treats for example they'll have cookies with hot chocolate at Christmas, earn a listening lolly etc.
It is a poor area and would create an obvious divide in the DC who couldn't participate.

[CoconutChair]

Did you send in sweets for the class or a badge on your DC’s jumper?

[daisypond]

I’m astonished by people sending in sweets or cake. That’s really not on.

[Supergirl1958]

@daisypond

I’m astonished by people sending in sweets or cake. That’s really not on.

Why isn’t it? Would you really celebrate a birthday by having not having cake or sweets?

[Supergirl1958]

Sorry *not having

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@daisypond

I’m astonished by people sending in sweets or cake. That’s really not on.

Why not?

[SionnachRua]

@EmeraldShamrock

It obviously does vary from school to school, both schools my DC attended are heavy handed on healthy eating, they're allowed a treat on a Friday, school organises any treats for example they'll have cookies with hot chocolate at Christmas, earn a listening lolly etc.
It is a poor area and would create an obvious divide in the DC who couldn't participate.

Ah good, so we're in agreement then that it's not a sweet ban across Ireland.

I don't mind them bringing in packets of sweets to share as long as the parents make provisions for kids who can't have those sweets. Like sending in a little bag of buttons for a Muslim child if the class are getting Haribo. I've been known to send the sweets home again if they don't do that, on the understanding they can bring them in once they've provided for all. And entire cakes are ridiculous, instant no from me.